lifewsal

just a girl

[bethanythebogwitch]

Some writers: *meticulously plan out every plot point and the tone and meanings before they start writing*

Me:

[vympr]

what a mother does for you out of obligation vs what a mother does for you because she wants to. the taste of a cup of coffee made from obligation vs. the taste of a cup of coffee made. did you raise me because you wanted to or did you raise me because you had to, because i was in your home and you thought, i have to put food in every mouth under this roof. did you look at me with love or did you look at me. did you ever look at me? did you ever see me? did you want to? do you want to still? if i asked you to love me would you laugh? would you ask me why? would you tell me to not ask such stupid questions? would you go to bed and wonder to yourself, why does she think i don't love her? i've done everything for her i've bathed her i've clothed her i've fed her i kept a roof over her head. isn't that love? do you even know? do you know what love looks like? did your mother love you? did she make you coffee? can you tell me what it tasted like?

[lifewsal]

I recite this like a verse in a holy book. It struck a nerve.

[lifewsal]

Growing up is an anguish

Painful, bloody and sweaty

The part that always trips me up

And leaves me undone is how

More often than not

Tears are simply tears

And the ache is the destination

Not the journey

That is only found in fairytales

And the frogs are simply frogs

There are no princes in hiding

[lifewsal]

You learnt the language of loud silences

You were fluent in how to shrink yourself

These are lessons learnt at your mother's knee

And when she was not molding you

Into the version of a modest woman

She taught you to dream, but importantly

Disguise your dreams as hobbies

Otherwise you will scare men away