sometimes block people haunt me

Find my unholy creations on ao3 come ask me about my fic, I like to ramble

[vampostingtime]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Want to Stay - Chapter 8

Despite everything, Apo and Legundo make it out of Oakhurst alive.

Aimless, a cured Legundo accompanies a lost Apo home. They do their best to keep living.

---

Apo and Cherri take Legs to the spring festival.

(thanks for reading 💕)

[lazymik0r]

I miss Vampires smp so much

[valleyshrike]

Musing About Mutuals (a silly appreciation post)

My common-law mutual You know, I keep forgetting I kind of have *four* mutuals and not three.

Allow me to explain.

There is a blog I follow. It is technically a sideblog, but it’s much more active than this person’s main blog. This blog does not follow me back.

This person follows me on their main blog, which doesn’t post very much so I don’t follow it.

The names and pfp of the sideblog and main blog are completely different.

It took weeks for me to make the connection. Someone else I follow got an ask from main blog, and side blog reblogged their answer with an explanation that they’re the same person, and I was like “wait. hold on a minute.”

So yeah we’re basically mutuals but don’t show up as mutuals on tumblr. I suppose we’re common-law mutuals!

When @mandragora-metalloidal doesn’t follow you back for a month

Dude. We live in the same apartment. I have known you my whole life. I’m good enough to get first access to all your writing but not good enough to be followed back for a month? I’m just out here, reblogging your writing, and everyone’s like “why is Shrike reblogging this random poetry blog. Oh the Masterpost says they’re siblings, aww how sweet! Surely they must be mutuals that talk all the time!” Well we do talk all the time, in fact we started sending each other stuff on Tumblr in dms. YOU DM ME BUT YOU’RE TOO MUCH OF A COWARD TO FOLLOW ME BACK FOR A MONTH. HOW COULD YOU ABANDON ME LIKE THIS. (TOT)

At least we’re mutuals now. I *guess*.

(For everyone else reading this: this whole passage is a joke. There are no hard feelings. Also she’s not a vsmp or phm fan so it’s not like she’s keeping up with my posts or anything, she didn’t have a reason to follow me. I just thought it was funny that she didn’t bother to follow me back for ages. Finally her writing is really good and y’all should check it out!)

A very weird coincidence

so my username is ValleyShrike. It’s the same as my AO3, which was made first.

Why ValleyShrike? One reason for each word. “Valley” because the first thing I was planning to post was a Stardew Valley fic! (It never got posted. I lost motivation. I’m sorry.) “Shrike” because I like shrikes. I think they’re cool and kinda badass. I’m also a big fan of crows, but I decided I wanted to be named Shrike. I want to come across as cute and unassuming until I start posting angst. Mwahaha.

Anyways, as soon as I got my very first mutual (iirc I followed them first then they followed back a couple days later) they sent me an ask about my name!

So, has anyone ever heard of the poem “The Shrike” by Sylvia Plath? It’s good. Y’all should read it. It’s where my mutual got their username from.

It is not where I got mine from. Pure coincidence. I hadn’t even heard of the poem before I was asked if my username was inspired by it. Kinda wild how things lined up like that.

I got a cool poem out of it, which is nice.

Mutual (hehe) internet stalking

I’m curious about what sort of people like my stuff. When I see that a new account’s given me a like, I’ll often go look at their blog.

One time, I got a like from someone new while browsing Tumblr, and went to check the blog out.

To my delight, this person was posting stuff I really liked! I stated tossing out likes and grabbing a couple posts to reblog.

More notifications. I look and they’ve been liking and reblogging more of my stuff.

I kept scrolling through their posts, dredging up posts from the past to slap likes onto and display on my blog as reblogs.

More notifications. Likes and reblogs on my posts from several days before.

I decide I like this blog enough to follow them.

Now, I don’t actually remember who followed who first. I don’t know if I followed in response to their follow or if I made the first move. What I do remember though, is that we became mutuals within two minutes of the first person hitting the follow button.

It’s so much fun when someone has the exact same idea as you at the exact same time.

Monikers

*ahem.*

I bestow the title of “lovely mutual” to my very first mutual, @that-truant-heart. May we smack that blue thing with hammers together.

I bestow the title of “dear mutual” to my second mutual, @indigodreams109. Please keep sending me those tag games, I adore them.

I bestow the title of “fuckass mutual” to my third mutual, @mandragora-metalloidal. You should start posting Jheap soon. Do it. Doitdoitdoit.

Finally, I bestow the title of “common-law mutual” to my unofficial mutual, @thesquirreloverlord / @lightblueglazedterracotta. You have excellent ideas and impeccable taste in reblogs.

May we continue to have good times together!

Follower shoutout!

Did you think I’d forgotten about you guys? No way. Get perceived.

I am picky with who I follow! Some people who follow me have blogs that aren’t to my personal taste. Though I may not follow them back, they hold a special place in my heart.

@lovelyrose20 I adore your lovesick AU! I’ve had the oneshot you’ve posted in my backlog for a while and I keep meaning to look at it. I’m taking a bit of a break from vsmp AO3 but I honestly might make an exception for it.

@i-will-eat-your-lawn I know a bit less about you but you are indeed a cutie patutie.

That’s all, folks!

[hellypoison]

Scott with a gold rose earring.

#newpfp #finally

[allsoulnocoal]

Okay also: crackfic where apo DOES wrestle down one of the big spiders and tries to eat it. Martyn comes across her and she has to explain what she's doing.

[allsoulnocoal]

Spiders don't have blood, is the thing. Like all insects, they have hemolymph instead in an open circulatory system (it's not even red, it's a yellowy color!)

Apo does not know that.

No, what happens is, first, she eats a mosquito while flying around. Accident. Pure instinct.

Which moves to doing it on purpose. It's not satisfying at all, like licking up the nectar from honeysuckle. Good. Fun. Not really "eating" or "food" and nowhere near "satisfying."

And then she eats a moth. And it's, somehow, also edible. Which, great! Much easier to have a wider selection of things to chase in the middle of the night when all the distracting bustle stops and her hunger claws at her and she can't even LOOK at the cow pen without feeling--ugh. So. All bugs. She'll take it. It's at this point she starts experimenting.

Also at this point, there are bats around her tower every night. Vermin issue, is what she says to the militia. But she wasn't slick before about her secret, what with the "I'll stand guard" thing, and she's even less slick about this lie.

So Martyn THINKS he knows what he'll find when he walks into the night with holy word ready and a silver block first at hand. Miss militia, spilling town secrets to the vampires. Their Apo, corrupting the beacons she had guarded that very day. Apo, who is probably slowly loosing herself to the blood that had been corrupting even the kindest of townsfolk into white wraiths of themselves, alien and cold and other.

He rounds a bend and sees Apo, in all her bullheaded glory, on top of one of those fuck-off big spiders trying to pin all eight of it's hairy legs with her numerically inferior four limbs somehow because for some dumb reason these bugs are only edible when still alive. The spider is obviously not very keen about any of this. It's used to being the one sampling new foods and honestly is a little taken aback that some two-legged maniac won't let it up.

Martyn watches her swear and sweat and get bit herself and try to bite the thing ONCE to test because if this works she could be actually full for once and ughhh hairy legs and oh my God next time she's bringing a rope to wrangling this thing--

She's monologues a steady stream of complaints to herself the entire time.

Somewhere around minute three Martyn starts laughing.

[rainydaydecaf]

Part 2 of the Trustbites Stardew Valley AU (stealth posting at work because I’m bored and because I can)

Summary: Louis and Legundo discuss their future together, and Owen gets a new roommate.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/88294516

[fyckyeahcats]

ya know Trustbites has always been hilarious to me because

a. It is theoretically canonically possible that Louis could revive during the timeline as this Minecraft and he wasn't staked, only burned at the stake so he isn't perma dead.

And b. If Louis came back before the Doc and Owen chatted in Ep 3, Owen would cling to him and not talk to anyone else at all and Bloodletting would probably never happen in that timeline.

But c. If Louis came back after the chat in ep 3 Legs would check in on Owen if he just vanished with no explanation and probably find Louis and Owen curled up next to each other. Louis would then somehow extract Legs entire life story from him somehow and subsequently adopt him. This can be taken as both romantically and platonically because as much as I love the threesome of them, I feel like 2 ancient beautiful vampires and the old man they adopted is objectively funnier.

[blockcat-safari]

Oh, very stupid concept incoming but, bear with me: Weekend at Bernie's style vsmp shenanigans

One of the humans get turned, but for whatever reason the vamps absolutely cannot admit they've done this, but it takes three days for a human to turn

Solution? Pretend they're still alive until they revive as a vampire

[blockcat-safari]

"We are literally in the middle of a truce," Scott says. "Do you get what that means? No killing, no desecrating, no turning, none of," and he gestures loosely to the grisly tableau before him, "this."

The coven collectively considers the corpse dumped on the table before them.

The doctor is very dead.

Owen scowls, which isn't particularly noteworthy, since he's been scowling since he dragged the cadaver into the castle. "It's not like you intended to keep the truce," he mutters.

"Sneaky. We were meant to be sneaky about it," Scott says. "Not whatever weird three-day waiting time your bloodline has going on!"

Owen proffers a perfunctory growl at the insult, but it's somewhat distracted by the very deceased elephant in the room.

"Maybe the humans won't notice–" Pyro says.

"Of course they'll notice," drawls Scott. "What, do you think they'll somehow miss that their doctor has taken a weekend sabbatical? Congrats, Owen, I hope your temper tantrum was worth it."

"He started it."

"Let's just drop him down one of the crypts," Pyro says. "He's human. Old. It's not so unlikely that he missed his step and broke his neck."

"The beacons bring the humans back when they die, idiot," Owen retorts. "If you could try to keep up at the back there, that'd be great."

"Do the..." Shelby falters, but already there is a strange tone in her voice, like she's sidling up to an idea and trying not to spook it. "Does town actually know he's dead?"

"I hardly killed him in the town square."

Scott hums. "You two do seem to keep vanishing off together."

"Only," and Shelby definitely sounds like she's sneaking up on the Lesser Spotted Questionable Idea with the world's biggest net, "we could just... keep it from them. That he's dead." She registers the expressions of polite skepticism, and barrels on. "I mean, I know he's dead, but he's not, like, dead-dead. He's not going to decompose. I read it in a book once, where there's these two guys, and their boss invites them to his home, only it turns out he's hired a hitman to take them out, and–"

Shelby realises she's losing her audience.

"Anyway, it worked out for them, and they weren't even dealing with a supernatural corpse."

There's a belated pause.

The doctor remains so very, very dead.

"Humans can't even hear heartbeats," Scott says, after a long moment.

"Oh, you cannot be thinking about actually trying it," Owen snaps.

"Then perhaps you should've tried thinking before turning the good doctor," Scott replies, dangerously pleasantly. "Be thankful we're willing to clean up your mess. Now, you and Shelby can escort our guest back to town, and make sure he, ah, settles in okay."

Owen makes no attempt to hide his displeasure. "Why us?"

"Well, I can hardly show my face about town," Scott says innocently, "and Pyro seems to make the mortals uneasy, although I can't imagine why."

Pyro makes a face that's clearly aiming for disgruntled distaste of the humans, but landing closer in embarrassed territory. The whiteless eyes do little to buffer the expression.

"But they appear fond of Shelby," and Scott's voice softens, betraying the sentiment isn't town-specific, "and as for you... well, it's known the doctor has – well, had – a soft spot for you. I'm sure you can convince the townsfolk you're staying only out of mutual concern."

Owen is less sure.

He's even less sure he wants to try.

There is a tone in Scott's voice, however, that brooks no arguement. And thus, he later finds himself hauling the dead weight of the doctor, alone, while Shelby skips alongside him.

"You could help, you know."

"But we need to convince the town that you care," Shelby says, eyes wide and almost managing to sound wholly sincere. "Anyway, he's too tall for me to support his other shoulder. I'd drag him the whole way."

Owen eyes Shelby. Scott has mentioned, in that off-handed, understated way of his, the nature of the literature she gravitates to. He wonders, warily, if she's planning on drawing inspiration from real life.

"Don't make this... weird."

Shelby blinks innocently. "I'm not."

"I'm only doing this to avoid the truce being broken."

"Right."

"I don't care about the doc."

Now it's Shelby's turn to eye her companion, gaze slipping to the corpse propped up by adjoining shoulders. She starts to speak. Falters. Tries again, and is visibly working to keep a straight face. "I promise you I will not be the one to make this weird."

[blockcat-safari]

Oh, very stupid concept incoming but, bear with me: Weekend at Bernie's style vsmp shenanigans

One of the humans get turned, but for whatever reason the vamps absolutely cannot admit they've done this, but it takes three days for a human to turn

Solution? Pretend they're still alive until they revive as a vampire

[blockcat-safari]

@mytoomanybookstoread ooh Cleo is such a fun choice, that makes everything so messy! She'd be so disgruntled :D

And yes, this is meant to be a very unserious concept. Absolute nonsense, rule of funny very much encouraged

[lightblueglazedterracotta]

Other People's homes - chpt2 : the storm

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

As the storm rolls in from the sea, Owen finds himself on the headland overlooking the town. Unfortunately, someone happens to live here as well.

Aka apokuna took over the fic for 3k words, whoops

[deathsquiggles]

me: ah yes i will use prompt fills to write shorter fics

also me: *8k into the first one*

[vampostingtime]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Why Should I Listen

When the doctor falls ill, Apo and Cleo are the only ones that can really help without spreading the sickness.

(behold my good buddy @we-be-me's awesome scenario that I wrote out)

[areafae]

💀 (I've been loving stinkbug au lately, the weird guys)

thank you i love my stupid weird bugs so much

He could not bring Owen into the coven unwillingly. But that did not mean he could not be persuaded.

[lightblueglazedterracotta]

Yay!

Here is my side of the deal

His tea is getting cold. He takes a sip of it, it was strong and nothing like the honeyed teas Louis used to make, but then he hadn't asked for sugar. He set the mug back on the table. He'll just use it as a hand warmer instead.

[beeperoo]

Beep beeperoo vs drawing the actual main character of their fanfiction before drawing the villian

Anyways selkiesmajor art for my the little mermaid au fic!!

And cleo is up next, who is also a selkie and not the main character. Maybe i just like drawing selkies idk

[yrimji]

"Hands on your shoulders. I mean this with my whole heart. Pick anyone else. Just anybody else. Please. For the love of God."

[poeticsynapse]

“Owen would be a smoker” lol. Lmao, even.

That man would take one puff of a cigarette and between one blink and the next he goes from standing to family guy death posing on the floor.

The Doc on the other hand is definitely a smoker. His ass was chain smoking in the trenches like it was nobody’s business. It’s the one thing that kept his hands steady while he lined up his shots or stitched up a soldier’s guts. He began weaning himself off in medical school (picture here a pre-med legs leaned over a book late at night, cigarette in his mouth and hand in his hair. You’re welcome.) before quitting entirely after getting his degree.

(He picks it back up when he begins turning to violence again. I imagine he walks up to Abolish or Cleo, exhausted from fighting or bloody from his turning, and simply asks, “you got a cigarette?” They silently hand him one, he takes a drag, and the shakes stop. He hates himself a little more for it.)

[promptpires]

Not sure if someone has done this already but anyways

Scott Goldsmith is a human. In fact, he is the only human in Oakhurst. Everyone else is a vampire.

And it just so happens that Scott has the exact same name as the vampire lord who disappeared 600 years ago (records disagree on whether he was killed or just sealed away). They even look exactly the same!

Question is: what to do with him?

Option 1: just kill him. Option 2: play friendly with him. Option 3: ignore him. Option 4: be the one to turn and sire the new Lord Scott Goldsmith.

Because reincarnated lost sassy human or not, the Goldsmith name comes with a certain prestige amongst vampire society.

Love this! Political intrigue my beloved! I can imagine there will be some who couldn't care less, but there's definitely enough that would care enough to fight over him. I wonder if he's unaware whilst they bicker over who gets him lmaooo

[stealth-queen]

700 words, TW: Avid

"I'm telling you! That's the Scott Goldsmith!"

"As much as I generally dislike agreeing with Avid of all people." The doctor shoots him a glare and then pinches the bridge of his nose. "I believe that is indeed the Scott Goldsmith."

"But how?! Scott was a vampire and that Scott is... not." Shelby purses her lips, staring at Scott's back from where the group hides.

"He is from a time even further back than I am. There were greator magicks back then. It's possible he was cursed- or even cured." Legundo's tone darkens. A potential cure would be bad news for all of them.

"The last anyone heard of him was from 600 years ago... if he's human then how could he have lived that long?"

Avid leans in beside Drift, whispering. "It was reincarnation."

"That be a bold accusation, laddie..."

"Ohhh my god, not this again." Cleo tugs Pearl away from the circle, rolling her eyes.

"It's true! Somebody- Somebody staked him or- or found some other way to kill him! And then he was reincarnated as a human! Just look at him!" Avid points, whisper yelling. The poor noble is staring up at his and Shelby's house, hands on his hips and trying to figure out where life went wrong. "He clearly doesn't have the... the life experience of anyone over a few decades!"

"Avid, I'm telling you. Reincarnation does not exist."

"No, no... I've read about this kind of thing. People die and they're said to have come back years later. I've only read about it happening to humans though, not vampires..." Sausage taps his lip with his pen, staring at his notes in deep thought.

"Just to put it out there... I don't believe in reincarnation, especially not for vampires. When we die there's no good thing waiting for us. We're unholy creatures of the night. The only thing for us after this is..."

"Hell." Owen mumbles off the way, finishing the scholar's thought. He's been staring at the ground this whole time, brooding, one might say. "It's likely some asinine curse like Legundo said. Elder vampires are tricky. I wouldn't put it past Goldsmith to be fooling all of us."

Martyn snorts. "With a beating heart? Flowing blood? No fangs, no claws? Sure, right. He's fooling us."

"He's pale enough to be a vampire at least..." Apo mumbles.

"See. Fools." Owen huffs, meeting the doctor's eye and then stepping away.

"Well." Pyro puffs out his chest and dusts off his coat. "You all can continue fighting over if he's the real Scott Goldsmith. I'm going to go get me a new fledgling."

"Wha- Hey! You can't do that! I figured out who he was first!"

Pyro towers over Avid, baring his fangs. "I think I can do whatever I want."

Avid hisses back.

"Guys, guys, look... Maybe we can figure this out without tearing each other apart?" Drift squeezes in between the two, pushing them back. "Tensions are already going to be high with all of us stuck here. And there's only so many animals..."

"Oh! I have an idea!" Shelby puts her hands on her hips. "How about whoever can convince him to let them be his sire, gets him as their fledgling?"

"I'm sure I can think of some... ways to convince him." Sausage wiggles his eyebrows. Pyro stares at him in distaste.

"Until we can come to an agreement on how to best handle this, I believe it necessary we keep our vampirism a secret around Scott. If the human finds out he's trapped with 13 vampires, I do not think it would be good for his... mental state. Hysteric humans are dangerous."

"Mostly to themselves..." Everyone's attention darts to Shelby as she worries at her lip with a fang. She tastes blood and laughs apologetically. "Whoops." Yet she meets their stares with a challenge.

"You continue on with your yapping, I'm going to go talk to the fella!" Martyn takes one marching step only to freeze.

Abolish is already in deep conversation with Scott whose nodding along in agreement to something.

"If you all really want that fledgling so bad, you should hurry up." Apo smirks. Pyro and Martyn rush over to the noble, butting shoulders and hissing back and forth all the way only to act completely normal once they reach the conversation.

[promptpires]

I LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!