‘You had one goddamn purpose…and you failed it.’ The words stabbed into him more than the shaking from his twin did. He remained silent as those words mulled over his mind, putting up no resistance against his twin.
‘Failure, that’s all you are. That’s all you’ll ever be. Useless. Worthless. A monster. A freak.’ He had heard all of that before, it didn’t come as a shock really, from his own mind and from his own mouth. If anyone thought they had a very low opinion of Vanitas, they were fucking lying. No, the person who had the lowest opinion of him was himself.
Waves of rage came off his twin and he was slammed against the wall, which didn’t even register as painful to Vanitas. Sometimes, he was outright numb to it all. The Unversed spilled out from behind his twin, losing any control he had over himself. It made Vanitas briefly wonder if his twin would even remember this outburst the next morning or if he’d forget it due to the alcohol in his system.
His brain was quick to register the impact of his twin’s fist into the wall, directly next to his head. His amber eyes unlocked from his twin’s briefly to glance at the large dent in the wall. It looked like it would get bigger too.
Vanitas saw his twin was drawing back his arm, getting ready to strike again. Would it collide with his face this time? No, Vanitas quickly caught the other’s fist before it could connect and he started to squeeze it tightly, gripping it so he couldn’t pull away.
“…You don’t think I don’t know what I am? I’ve known since the moment I was born.” Vanitas mumbled to the other in response, his amber eyes flashing with…defeat. “A monster. A freak. Inhuman. Incomplete. A failure. I’ve called myself all of that…so many times. It doesn’t make me feel better…it just…hurts. Don’t you get it? I don’t want to hurt anymore.”
He glanced down as he held onto the other’s fist. His hands were shaking, his teeth were gritting as he held in tears. “I just…want to feel good about myself. I want…to heal. I want to be near people who care about me. I want to be…me. I don’t want to be anyone else but me! I don’t want to be fucking Ventus or Xehanort or anyone else but me!”
Tears were now stinging his eyes and he violently shoved his drunken twin away. “And I don’t want to be like you! Bitter and angry all the time! And clinging onto the false hope that you’ll be whole! This life is mine!”
Vanitas stumbled backward as his twin shoved him, the alcohol thrumming through his blood robbing him of his usual grace and poise.
“You're just an idiot!” He yelled, glaring at the other man, the tears pooling in his eyes spilling over and dripping down his cheeks. “Nothing more than a fool if you think you can ever be anything else!” Angrily he swiped at his face, slapping away the wetness.
“Don't you fucking dare ask me if I get it!” A trembling hand rose to point at his twin; whether it shook from fury, pain, or drunken unsteadiness was anybody's guess at that point. “I understand better than you do apparently!”
Behind him an Unversed made a loud screeching laugh noise and Vanitas clutched at his head and whirled around, Voidgear appearing in his hand.
As quickly as the Keyblade settled in his palm, it left, spinning from his hold as he threw it across the room, cleaving the Scrapper in two, taking out a lamp with an electric crackle and slamming into the wall.
Clutching at his chest and groaning in pain, gritting his teeth, Vanitas glared at his twin a dare in his wet eyes as he limped back away from the man.
“Go back to wherever the fuck you came from!” He snarled, hate and anger flowing off him in cloying waves.
Anger at his twin for finding peace when it was denied him.
Hatred at himself for never looking for it in the first place.
“No one fucking needs you here!” Purple lightning sparked in his hand and danced between his fingers, the dark magic charging in his body and spitting erratically with his wild emotions and drunken fervor.
More tears and another moan of darkness before a Bruiser went running behind him, arms flailing wildly as it crashed through the room door and out into the hallway.
“Dammit!” Vanitas cursed, looking over at the broken door and then back at his twin furiously. “Why can't you just leave me the hell alone!?”
It was his fault this happened! Because he showed up! Just had to stick his damned perfect little nose where it didn't belong! Just had to go poking in his business and acting like some stupid goody little two shoes who found salvation!
prguitarman
romaincrisis
tangentwithtanner
theartofmadeline
turnnoffyourmind
jacobvanloon
germansingergirl
