“ I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious. “
“ Occasionally, I’ll hit somebody with my car. So sue me. “
“ Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me. “
“ I know that patience and loyalty are good, and virtuous traits. But sometimes I just think you need to grow a pair. “
“ The Taliban is the worst… great heroin though. “
“ Do you think that doing alcohol is cool?! “
“ Where are the turtles?! “
“ If I don’t have some cake soon, I might die. “
“ Who is Justice Beaver? “
“ The worst thing about prison was… the dementors. “
“ I don’t care what they say about me… I just want to eat. “
“ If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and you, I would shoot you twice. “
“ Well just tell him to call me ASAP as possible. “
“ Sorry I annoyed you with my friendship. “
“ Apart from hitting her with my car, I have been so kind to that woman. “
“ I just want to lie on the beach and eat hot dogs. “
“ You all took a life here today. The life of the party. “
“ I have egg in my crocs “
“ We’re All Homos: Homosapiens “
“ Early worm gets the worm “
“ I hate so much about the things you choose to be “
“ I hate looking at your face “
“ I don’t have a lot of experience with vampires, but I have hunted werewolves. I shot one once, but by the time I got to it, it had turned back into my neighbor’s dog. “
“ I am faster than 80% of all snakes. “
“ In an ideal world I would have all ten fingers on my left hand and the right one would just be left for punching. “
“ I did not become a Lackawanna County volunteer sheriff’s deputy to make friends. And by the way, I haven’t. “