New CGs may be unsure of what to do to help their little when theyâre regressed. These are some tips for new Dadaâs and Mamaâs on how to help!
This list will include tips that will help with LDR or with platonic care giving as well.
â ď¸ I am writing this for NONSEXUAL age regressors and their carers. The terms I use are ones that I am comfortable with and they are non-k!nk related â ď¸
đ Learn our regression. Itâs so relaxing when we no longer have to say weâre regressed because youâve learned us so well. This may mean learning our favourite stuffies name, if we like pacis or bottles etc.
đ Sit with us and question what weâre doing, as you would a child. âWhat are you colouring?â âCan I see your drawing?â Engaging with our regression helps show youâre genuinely interested.
đ Be comfortable with us. All regressors have a deep fear that we are bothering our carers, especially when introducing a new aspect of ourselves. Remember that all of this is nonsexual and nonk!nk, so if you feel uncomfortable with something (diaper use, pacis, nicknames etc) then discuss it kindly with us and let us learn each other better.
đ Donât underestimate the little things. The smallest gesture of love, kindness or show of affection can have a huge impact. Take our hand, send us a selfie, call us a cute nickname, buy us a small chocolate⌠It may seem small to you, but will leave us squealing with happiness.
đ Check how weâre doing. Send a text message, voice message (I recommend Voxer for ldr, as it lets you record and send small voice messages) or verbally ask us if weâve eaten, gone potty, had some water etc.
đ Play with us. Colour, sit with a tea party, make a play-doh pie⌠Just take a moment to breath and engage with us.
đ Stories are amazing. You can find heaps of kids stories online, or buy bumper packs of kids books for cheap. If youâre ldr, Skype call and read the story, or if time differences or work makes that difficult, send a link to a YouTube story or pre-record your own.
đ Encourage us to better ourselves. For most of us, this is a coping mechanism. Help us make the most of our regression by providing lessons, experience and love. Help us become resilient and improve ourselves.
đ Remind us that weâre little, even when weâre not regressed. Hold our hand, tell us not to get lost, turn our attention to cute or bright items etc
đ Donât ever yell at us when weâre regressed.
đ Always send short messages to tell us youâre OK. We know you get busy, but please, a short âheading into meeting, love you!â will put us at ease.
đ Keep communication open. Some regressors like rules, bedtimes, consequences etc. Discuss it openly and often. Donât assume you know best and donât usurp decisions from us. Talk with us. Make plans to better help manage out lives and yours. If we say âI donât know⌠You decide,â then you can make the best choice. We need to trust that you are making the best decisions for us.
đ If we ask for rules or guidelines, try helping us make a chore chart or use the Chore Monster app.
đ If youâre unable to take the time out to be a carer (due to work, friends, family etc), donât tell us to go away. Donât tell us to âstop itâ. Kindly explain that you need to work or go out and that you canât help right now. Reassure us that itâs ok to regress alone and that youâll be back playing with us again in no time.
đ If you can, just be with us. Let us sit in the same room and play while you work. Have a Skype call where you can continue doing your thing but we can see you and you can keep an eye on us.
đ Just be kind. Offer to put on a movie, to fill a sippy cup with juice, bundle us in a blanket, and just love us.
đ Let us love you. Whether this is a romantic relationship or platonic, we love you. A lot. We will smother you with that love. Let us.
đ If youâre feeling overwhelmed, just talk to us. Explain that you need some big space time. Weâll understand. Just reassure us⌠We worry a lot.
All of these are easily adaptable into an LDR or platonic relationship. Discuss everything. This is such a rewarding experience as long as communication is kept open.
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