"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

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sheepfilms
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trying on a metaphor

oozey mess
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
dirt enthusiast
we're not kids anymore.
DEAR READER
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@liliannashulei
christianvbennet:
A part of him still wanted to be good enough for her. He knew, deep in the pit of his soul, that it was primarily his fault he and Lilianna weren’t still together. He knew he should have been strong enough to overcome his grief to be with her, but it hadn’t felt fair, stringing her along when Christian felt as though he had been breaking apart inside. And as scary and dark as the thoughts grew, he knew–almost with frightening certainty–that if he had woken up and believed, truly believed with every atom of his being, that Emmaline was dead and gone, he would have followed her shortly. The thought that he could have so wretchedly failed the one person he’d sworn to protect had filled Christian with such a deep sense of hopelessness that it was only his keen sense of optimism, still somehow ingrained in the very fabric of his soul, that kept him going.
Some days were harder to get up than others; especially when he found himself missing Lilianna’s touch. Her soft, warm body nestled against his; the sweet, floral fragrance of her shampoo as he buried his face in her hair and forgot the roar of the city and everyday troubles.
But Lilianna deserved someone who didn’t hate their own reflection; she deserved someone who would be able to protect her. Much better than he’d been able to protect Emmaline.
“Maybe we can sneak a cupcake or two in our pockets to take home; I reckon I really shouldn’t be sayin’ stuff like that, should I?” Christian murmured to her conspiratorially. He dashed the darker thoughts from his mind; so long as he pretended to be the same chipper, happy person he’d been in the years before Emmaline’s disappearance, perhaps–perhaps he could make everything think he was fine. He appreciated the concern of his loved ones–friends, coworkers, and Lilianna above all–but he hated thinking of people pitying him or worrying about him. Not when their energy could be better spent searching for Emmaline. And, truth be told…he worried about Lilianna. She worked herself far too hard; often forgot to eat and care for herself the way she should. She felt smaller nestled against his larger frame tonight, and he made a mental reminder to cook her a week’s worth of meals on his day off tomorrow. She needed to take care of herself, even on the days when she’d rather let her work consume her. A party didn’t seem the right place to bring it up, but he’d be certain to suggest food to her at least a dozen times before the night was out. “D’you really think Mei Mei would have gotten along with the other animals? Between the two of us, I get the feeling he thinks he’s a little better than your average household pet.” He teasingly nudged her in the side with his elbow as they entered the room, a smile lighting up his features.
“I’m fine,” he lied, a false smile just barely failing to light up his eyes as he took a glance around the room. For sign of Rafael, of Nova, of any of the other detectives. When he didn’t immediately see anyone, he felt himself relax slightly as he turned back to her. “A drink sounds…great, actually. Maybe a snack or two?” He led them over to the bar, ordering a beer for himself and allowing Lilianna to order before he turned his attention back towards her again. His gaze swept over her frame, delight and pure adoration lighting up his dark brown eyes at the sight of her in that dress. Blue; it had always looked breath-taking on her. Like something directly out of a fairy tale.
“You, though–you look beautiful, Lilypad; like a forget-me-not in full bloom,” he said at last, his eyes lifting to meet her own. “No offense to the birthday girl, but I think I brought Cinderella to the ball.” But who will pick up your glass slipper when the clock strikes midnight?
Lilianna worried endlessly about Christian, even from afar. Despite the fact that he had brought their relationship to an end - something that she didn’t blame him for, not one bit - her heart had never stopped beating for him, and she had never stopped caring for him either. He didn’t need to see her to accept her weekly deliveries of homemade steamed buns and noodle soup for his freezer, nor did he need to call and thank her for the special salve she made just for him to help with his headaches and sore muscles. Their relationship might have been over, but nothing else had changed between them as far as Lilianna was concerned. He would always be the great love of her life, and even if it killed her to have to be so far away from him now...she wouldn’t ever stop being there for him whenever he needed her to be. Like tonight, for instance - she knew Christian well enough to know when he wasn’t at his best, and he hadn’t been ever since Emmaline’s disappearance. His smile didn’t quite reach his eyes, and his voice seemed to waver every other sentence or so; she could tell just by talking to him as well that he was exhausted, and she wondered when the last time he had gotten a full night of rest was. She was one to talk, of course, but he didn’t need to know that she was every bit as obsessed with tracking down her mother’s murderer as he was dedicated to tracking down his supposedly lost sister’s location.
Tonight wasn’t about that, though. Tonight wasn’t about any of that. They were here to support each other, and as dates, and - that was what Lilianna wanted to focus on the most. “Not at all - in fact, I think that’s the best way to ensure that daddy dearest gets his money worth tonight, shi?” she said loftily when Christian joked about sneaking food home with them in their pockets; honestly, the amount of cold hard cash that must have been spent on a nineteen-year-old’s birthday party, of all things, was a little sickening to Lilianna, and she could only hope that the other billionaires in attendance were actually donating some of their wealth to the animal rescue charities that the young heiress had requested. At least some good would come out of it then. When Christian playfully nudged her and teased her about her precious Mei Mei, Lilianna couldn’t help but smile, and she bumped him gently with her own hip in return as they walked through the elegant french doors into the sprawling ballroom. “That’s because he is better than the average household pet, thank you very much. There have been several studies done that show pigs as having higher IQs than other animals - surely a farmhand like yourself realized this long before you met me,” she insisted with a pointed sniff, only to let out a small laugh as Christian brought them both further inside of the ballroom; she had missed him so much.
He told her that he was fine, and she didn’t believe him in the slightest, but she gracefully allowed him to lead her over to the bar nevertheless. He ordered a beer, and she ordered a glass of sweet plum wine, all the while confirming that it must have been kept onhand solely for the consumption of the Triad - no gwailou would ever order the Chinese delicacy otherwise. When Christian asked if she wanted something to eat while the bartender prepared their drinks, she turned back to face him, just about to shake her head no and tell him that she wasn’t hungry, but then...he was looking at her with a soft, almost reverent sort of awe, drinking in the sight of her elegant and willowy frame in her mother’s lace and tulle gown, and by the time he was speaking to compliment her on her supposed beauty, Lilianna could hardly breathe. That was all he had to do - all he had to say - to bring her to her knees. Just like that, she was undone; just like that, she was falling in love with him all over again. “You haven’t called me Lilypad in a while,” she finally managed to say in a soft, hesitant voice, and she couldn’t help herself from reaching out to gently stroke the side of his face; for just a moment, her slim, fine-boned fingers caressed from his stubble down to the strong line of his jaw, a fleeting touch that she hoped he wouldn’t mind. “And I am so glad that you like my dress, niúzǎi. It belonged to my mother.” Cowboy. Even now, he was still her cowboy, and he wondered if he could see the rosy hue warming the apples of her cheeks as she looked up at him and smiled. “If I’m Cinderella, does that make you my Prince Charming? And am I meant to run away from you at some point? I have a feeling it would be all too easy for you to catch me after spending years herding in wild horses.”
( &&. @liliannashulei / @ronanvvludolf / @emmalinefaun )
They were friends. Friends could attend events together, right? Even if said friends had once been…romantically involved. Even if their relationship would never be wholly platonic–not on his side, at least, though he had been the one to end things between them out of necessity of grief. True, Lilianna had been nothing but kind and gracious to him in the months following Emmaline’s disappearance, but that didn’t mean there wasn’t a yawning chasm of awkwardness and unspoken thoughts and feelings that spread between them, as dangerous as teetering along the lip of an unstable cliff.
Most days, he wanted to call her; ask her to come over like she used to. And he knew, somewhere deep in his heart, that Lilianna would oblige with his request. But he knew, even just looking at her, that he wanted more than friendship with her. He always had, and deep in his heart, he knew he always would. There was a part of his soul that spoke to her; begged her to return to him. He wanted to nestle against her on the couch, pressing his face against her hair as they watched old romantic comedies and made fun of the trials and tribulations of the characters onscreen. He wanted to spend hours in the kitchen with her again, tediously learning the art to folding and crimping fortune cookies to prepare or teaching her his mother’s recipe to fried chicken. He found himself missing the mornings they spent in bed, his fingers tracing circles along the smooth dip between her shoulder blades; the way he would kiss along her spine as though each and every atom of her was a map that continuously led him to something deeply-rooted inside of himself.
Even now, as Christian and Lilianna made their way inside the sprawling ballroom and banquet hall of the Garden Hotel, he felt himself overwhelmed by the sheer force of his emotions. He loved her–he loved her with everything in him, and he’d let her go because of it. In his grief, Christian knew he had become a shell of the man he once was; it hadn’t been fair, making her stay tangled up in his grief and PTSD. It wasn’t fair of him to love her when he had let her go.
“You know,” he said as they made their way into the room, nervously adjusting the floral vest jacket he’d donned for the evening (he’d tried to match the beautiful blue of her dress, but there was no telling if Lilianna had noticed or not). “I heard the food tonight costs more than an entire year’s rent.”
Smooth, dummy, he chided himself. Real smooth.
The Golightly birthday gala simply wasn’t an event that Lilianna could allow herself to miss out on. Even before she had begun working undercover within the Chinese Triad, she would have diligently attended the star-strewn occasion solely due to her occupation as an investigative reporter, but given the fact that she had heard through the grapevine that all of New York’s most prominent mobs planned on making an entrance at the young heiress’ party...well. What sort of double agent would she be if she didn’t follow suit? She had only just started working part-time as a dancer for the Triad, but Lilianna was looking desperately in all directions for any sign, hint, or clue that might have pointed her towards identifying her mother’s murderer, and she didn’t care what it took from her in the process. She knew her body well enough to know that she could manage days without eating or sleeping just fine; she knew her body well enough to know that she could push it to its limit and back again, and who on earth in the world was she even close enough with to worry about taking notice and fretting over her lack of self-care?
Well...there was Christian. There was always Christian.
Having already privately decided to attend the gala on her own, Lilianna had been startled - but not at all displeased - when Christian had taken it upon himself to ask if he could escort her as his date. They were friends, of course - close friends, all things considered - but Lilianna still did her absolute best not to crowd or overwhelm him in the wake of...well, in the wake of everything. Emmaline’s death had shattered her to her very core, but it had broken Christian in half, and she didn’t blame him one bit for needing to put an end to their relationship. How could he focus on a romantic partner when he was suffering through the loss of the baby sister he had all but raised as his child? How could Lilianna ask or expect anything from him when he was enduring such grief? She still loved him, of course - she had never stopped - but what he needed from her now was...kinship, and nothing else. A friendly shoulder to lean on and occasionally attend ridiculously lavish galas with. Lilianna knew not to think of it as anything more than that.
It would be a complete and utter lie, however, for Lilianna to think that she hadn’t dressed the way that she had tonight for anyone other than Christian. The gown she wore was one of her mother’s - a designer vintage confection of powder blue lace and tulle - and it left her striking decollete bared and exposed along with her graceful shoulders and the ivory lengths of her arms. Her glossy dark hair, normally tossed haphazardly into a chopstick bun at the back of her head, was left long and loose, tumbling gloriously down the delicate length of her back in shiny, almost pearlescent waves. The dress wasn’t the only homage to her late mother - tucked into the garter wrapped around one of her slender thighs was one of her 18th-century khanjar daggers, but...well. Christian didn’t need to know about that particular security measure. She didn’t know if it had been purposeful - though with Christian, it usually was - but he had somehow managed to match his suit and tie ensemble to her dress, and every last bit of it, from the deep blue of his jacket to the sweet and playful floral of his dress, was...indescribably perfect. Just like the rest of him. He was stupidly, absurdly good-looking, and he didn’t even know it - he never had.
“Shì, that much I can believe,” she agreed with a graceful nod of her head as they entered the sprawling ballroom, taking a quick look around with a watchful eye before looking up at Christian once more; she had one of her elegant hands wrapped around the crook of his arm, and it felt so good to be close to him again like this. She could still remember the nights - and days - that they had spent rolling around in bed with one another; how big his strong and weathered farmboy hands had looked on her willowy frame and splayed across her creamy pale skin. She...missed it. Sometimes more than she could bear. “I also heard that there’s supposedly some sort of petting zoo in one of the gardens. Honestly, I should have brought along Mei Mei - the only time he’s able to make any kind of animal friends is when my father brings home an armful of char siu bao,” she mused with a wry smile, looking up at Christian and giving his arm a gentle squeeze. “How are you doing, hm? Did you want to get something to drink?”
lilianna shu lei ♡ golightly gala
lilianna shu lei isn’t normally one for parties - especially ones that cost more money than most people earn in an entire lifetime of work. however, with her new role as an undercover spy within the chinese triad, the investigative journalist feels as if her presence is needed more than ever at bunny golightly’s nineteenth birthday. after all, only an idiot would assume that the numerous mobs throughout new york city wouldn’t be in attendance, and lilianna is wanting to keep her eyes peeled and her ears open for any sign of potentially tracking down her mother’s murderer.
speaking of her mother - it’s her dress that lilianna is wearing, one of the many couture gowns that lanying had worn throughout her time as a member of the triad., and it’s her 18th century khanjar dagger that she has strapped within the delicate garter belt around one of her shapely thighs. her long, dark, and glossy hair is left loose and tumbling down the elegant length of her delicate back that’s been left exposed by her ethreal blue gown, though she’ll more than likely end up tossing it up in a messy bun with her favorite jade chopsticks before the night is over.
she has her father’s blessing, especially given her choice of date - the aging shu lei patriarch has always adored @christianvbennet, and was beyond pleased to greet him at the door when he arrived to pick lilianna up for their night on the town. though the two are no longer romantically entwined, lilianna is still looking forward to spending the evening with him...especially given how tense things might be with the presence of both the triad and the nypd.
✫ @taikalongwei
It had been shockingly easy to be granted an invitation to audition for a position as a yiji at New York’s elusive Black Tea Room, and Lilianna still didn’t fully understand how it had fallen so perfectly into her lap. She had been trying for months, of course, to appear as trustworthy as possible to the men and women who recruited geisha girls to serve, dance, and entertain within the shadowed halls of the tea house turned underground brothel, especially without blowing her cover as an investigative journalist, but finally her time had come. This was the first of many steps that she would take in order to track down the person - or people - that had killed her mother, and no sooner would she find them would she bring them to a swift and righteous end.
The Chinese triad had taken so much from her and her father, and Lilianna could no longer sit idly by as their dark and grimy hands began to claw into the city that had been her home for so long. If the NYPD wasn’t going to try and stop them from taking over Manhatten, then Lilianna would do everything in her power to avenge her mother and seek justice to the bitter end.
In her prime, her mother had been a famous geisha herself; known for her beauty, charm, and talent, Lanying had worked for the Triad for the majority of her youth within tea houses just like this. It was how she had met and fallen in love with Lilianna’s father, a former samurai turned general who dedicated the rest of his life to taking care of her. The Triad, however, apparently hadn’t taken kindly to Lanying starting a family with an outsider, and even though they ran away as far as they were able to, the Triad had still been able to track them down, and...Lilianna’s gracious, kindhearted mother had been stolen away from her forever as a result. She might not be able to bring her back, but she was determined to ensure that her death wasn’t in vain - she was determined to take revenge and wouldn’t stop until she had managed to die trying.
Yiji were not common whores, nor did they at all resemble even the high-end dancers at some of New York’s finest gentlemen clubs. No - they were graceful, classy, and subdued in their seductive elegance, and after all the research she had done, Lilianna was certain that she would be able to play the part well. She wore a dress from her mother’s closet - a cream-colored silk cheongsam with fine gold and light pink embroidery all throughout. It clung delicately to her willowy frame, and while the dress’s hem reached the floor, there was a long slit going all the way up to one of her shapely thighs, subtle enough that a flash of milk and honey skin would only be revealed when she took a step forward. Her long, glossy dark hair was pinned up with diamond and pearl combs from her mother’s jewelry box, and she wore no makeup aside from a flush of sheer red applied to her bow-shaped lips. Refined and simplified beauty at its finest.
Upon arrival, she was taken down a set of stairs and into a room that - throughout all of the time she had spent staking out the tea house - she had never seen before. It was sprawling and dark, with lanterns hanging from the ceiling that workers were only just beginning to light, and...at the front of the room, there was a stage, and Lilianna swallowed nervously when she realized what it was for. “Wait here,” the elderly woman that had escorted her downstairs told her firmly in Mandarin, and Lilianna nodded faintly; she moved to take a seat in one of the armchairs, but the woman shook her head no. “On the mat. Kneel and wait.” Lilianna’s eyes widened, but she did as she was told, shifting over towards the bamboo mat on the floor and very gracefully falling onto her knees in a position of respect. Just - who was she going to be meeting with, exactly?
“Lilianna? Are you in?” He still wasn’t used to Lilianna having her own apartment again, for so long she had lived with Christian and the three of them had spent time together as a group—something that Henry had always enjoyed thoroughly before the untimely falling out of their relationship. Now, however, she lived in a pristine flat that she had decorated entirely to her tastes, and he used the key she had given him for emergencies to let himself in. Almost immediately he was greeted by Mei Mei—her tiny teacup pig whom he had no idea how she had managed to sneak past her landlord. Still, Henry set down the order of steamed buns he had brought over for the two of them so that he could kneel and scritch behind her ridiculously small pet’s ears, a fond and affectionate smile overtaking his face as he waited for Lilianna to make herself known. “Ah, such a good boy, aren’t you, Mei Mei? Where is xiǎo tiān'é? Is this to be like last week all over again, where she arranged to meet with me for lunch and was actually out covering yet another story halfway across town? Hmmm?” Lilianna was hardworking, almost to a fault, and so busy that finding any amount of time in her schedule to spend time with her seemed almost impossible—which was saying quite a bit, given the fact that they were co-workers.
@liliannashulei
Lilianna hadn’t forgotten about her lunch date with Henry - not again, of course - but there was some truth to be said in the fact that she was most definitely running a little behind schedule, especially considering the fact that a lead on her current story had come in mere moments before he was due to arrive at her apartment. As a result, Lilianna was still rushing around in her silk kimono robe as she tried to simultaneously brush her teeth and type at her laptop at the same time, her glossy dark hair piled haphazardly on top of her head with a set of jade chopsticks that hadn’t seen the inside of a rice bowl in months. “Aiyah! Two seconds, Henry!” She stood up in a flustered rush as she heard the telltale sound of the door unlocking, quickly followed by Mei Mei’s excited little pitter patter steps as the tiny pig rushed out into the foyer to greet her oldest and closest friend. Was he early? No - as per usual, he was perfectly on time, and it was Lilianna who had fallen behind schedule. “I’m here, I’m here! Stop bad-mouthing me to my pig,” she insisted with a breathless huff as she fluttered into the front room to greet him, uncaring of her state of undress as she knelt down to gather Mei Mei in her arms, kissing the oinking little creature on the top of his sweet little head before she looked up at Henry with a harried and somewhat apologetic smile. “Bàoqiàn. I got carried away chasing a new lead. Do you mind if I take a few moments to change before joining you for lunch?”
[[open! pls read: Any location. IF your muse is from the Italian Mafia, This is how Maximilian ‘communicates’ with his Italian mafia buddies for security reasons. But! if your muse is not from the Italian Fam bam, we can treat it as a ‘wrong number’ situation!]]
Nibbling at the edge of his shrinking cigarette Maximilian types up a quick text and taps his foot at the ground, huddling into his long coat
[ sms -> ] I think I’m in love with you. I have to see you. I know you feel it too.
Well that was - unsettling. For a long moment, Lilianna merely looked at the text message that had suddenly appeared on her phone screen; she didn’t recognize the number, nor was it saved as one of her contacts, but even still she had to scrunch up her nose a bit at the realization that someone had just confessed their love via text. With a small sigh, she withdrew the jade chopsticks that had been keeping her long, glossy dark hair tied up in a bun, shaking it loose before managing a response.
“Wǒ xiǎng bùshì. I think that you have the wrong person - either that or you’ve been stalking me afar and we’ve never actually met before. If that is the case, kindly lose my number and seek professional help. I am not interested.”
・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。 ; tag drop!!