•lillian grace•

•Our rainbow Charlie Wayne was born 4/10/2017•

[lilliannnxo]

[lilliannnxo]

36 weeks!

We are having Nash on Tuesday February 25th via csection. I've had hypertension the last few weeks and he is transverse so yanno, no chance for vaginal anyway.

He was measuring 7lb 11 oz at 35w4d.

Gestational diabetes was not our friend.

[lilliannnxo]

Wow, life

So I'm 26 weeks on Monday.

We have changed babys name, Lincoln was so cute but just didnt fit us.

Gestational Diabetes is kicking my ass and I'm now on 20 units of insulin to help my fasting numbers but it's still not doing much.

We are moving back to Tennessee THANK YOU LORD.. this Friday. I'm really excited and ready.

Its been insane.

Here's a bump date from 24 weeks!

[lilliannnxo]

MFM appointment

Is tomorrow at 1pm. I am super nervous and just want him to be okay.

[lilliannnxo]

Anatomy Scan

Yesterday we went for our scan and I know they are usually longer scans. But this one was abnormally long and silent and she spent A TON of time looking at his heart.

She said she couldn't get all the pictures she needed, so we tried turning on my left side then the right side and back to my back.. every time she went straight for the heart. At the end she was very quiet and said I would probably have to come back.

Fast forward to the doctor visit and she says there are 2 bright spots on his heart that can be consistent with Down Syndrome, but wasn't coming calling it a normal spot that they might usually see because I didnt have any genetic testing done. I'm 23 Caleb is 27 and neither of us have any family history of genetic disorders or defects.

She said it could very well be a normal spot but shes sending me to a high risk OB for a better ultrasound and any genetic testing they can do. We are honestly okay whichever way this turns out. That's the reason we never did tests with Charlie or Lincoln because it doesn't change anything for us and I know that they can see soft markers or any major problems during the anatomy scan.

Lincoln is 13oz and measuring 2 days ahead. I am so beyond grateful for him. I've been able to feel him move more often lately and he definitely let's me know hes there still kickin it.

Sunday marks 20 weeks and we are more than halfway there since I will have another csection.

[lilliannnxo]

18w5d

Failed my 3hr gestational diabetes test.

Wtfffffffffff

[lilliannnxo]

18 weeks

First of all.. what the hell. This pregnancy is FLYING BY.

We've decided on Lincoln for his name.

My anatomy scan is the 25th and I can't wait.

Also, I had to do an early gestational diabetes test and.... I failed. By 13 points. I got my results online today so I'm hoping since tomorrow is Monday they will call and let me know what the next step is.

I feel him move pretty often and it's still surprising.

Round ligament pain and back pain have been kicking my ass but oh well.

I was nauseous the first few weeks but from weeks 12 to now I've been sick pretty much every day. Its tiring and it's so crazy how different this pregnancy is from Charlie's.

[lilliannnxo]

Well..

#boymom

[lilliannnxo]

11w5d

Paid for a private ultrasound to get a good view of the baby. I have a hunch it's a boy but a few more weeks til we can tell.

[lilliannnxo]

9w4d

Found the babys heartbeat on my doppler.

Had another ultrasound today and all is amazing.

Is it bad to still be in disbelief? I am SO grateful for this pregnancy, I just cant believe it happened the way it did!

I am amazed.

Also, alot more nauseous this time around. I've only thrown up a few times, but I'll catch myself randomly gagging. Just out of nowhere.

I have a trip back to TN planned for the end of the month with Charlie and I'm hoping that'll help ease a little of this anxiety.

[lilliannnxo]

8 weeks

Went to the doctor today.

I've been very anxious and really down. I love that I was able to get pregnant so fast after the ectopic but I didnt expect it to be THAT FAST. so its really been scary and hard on me mentally and emotionally.

I am going to begin taking zoloft again, when the nurse was doing the portable ultrasound I had a panic attack. I prepared myself for the worst and everyone could see the heartbeat and I was looking and looking and felt so overwhelmed I didnt see it right away, it was very grainy and not a great ultrasound machine so the nurse went and got the ultrasound tech and she was able to zoom in and show me the baby and the heartbeat and assured me that everything is right on point.

The nurse offered to do weekly ultrasounds until we can hear the heartbeat on the doppler. So I will be going back next Friday for another quick ultrasound to help ease my mind. I am so thankful I found this doctor and her nurse. They are both beyond what I could ever wish for.

I still haven't heard the heartbeat and I think that's making it harder. It's scary even though I have seen the heartbeat twice. I have my doppler and I was able to find Charlie at 9 weeks so hopefully soon baby will pop up on it and I can keep calm at home.

[lilliannnxo]

7 weeks

And the only thing that has not made me nauseous is Andes candies and applesauce.

Still though I'm grateful for every symptom and every day I get.

[lilliannnxo]

That feeling..

Like you can't help but think that shit really does happen for a reason..

If I never had the pain I had with the ectopic, I never would've known I was pregnant.. my levels were already dropping there was just a bleed that cleared up on its own.. but if I never knew, I would have just thought I had an early period, which isn't out of the ordinary. I never would've been able to get the rhogam shot. I never would have known what I lost.. therefore I never would've been so grateful for what we have gained..

With my other 2 miscarriages I knew something wasn't right, I could tell something was off way before any bloodwork. And I was right.

With Charlie and this baby of course I'm worried and scared but I find myself more at ease, able to talk about the baby like it's really going to be here. It's going to make it.

Seeing the babys heartbeat yesterday was a feeling of relief I can't put into words. It was ticking away so fast and I was stunned. We weren't expecting that.

I go back in 2 weeks for another ultrasound and a real in depth appointment. My doctor is pretty awesome and I'm glad I found her..

She set my due date as March 16, 2020.

(Note to add, of course this baby makes it, Charlie's birthday is April 10. Seems so funny)

[lilliannnxo]

Measuring 5w5d and heartbeat is 115bpm.. I got back in 3 weeks. I'm shocked honestly. Happy of course but still in disbelief.

[lilliannnxo]

5w4d (approximately)

I don't know how far I am but this can't be too far off.

I have an ultrasound tomorrow at 7am and meeting with my doctor at 8am.

I am terrified and excited all at once. Happy but cautious.

I have sore boobs and some nausea, lots of pressure really low down, back pain and I'm EXHAUSTED. This test is from 3 days ago, I wasn't feeling much of anything and just needed assurance. There's barely a control line. I know this practically means nothing but the fact it didn't get lighter makes me feel a little better. Just want to get tomorrow over with.

[lilliannnxo]

First appointment

I'll have an ultrasound next Tuesday, I'll be around 5w5d. I think.. I honestly don't know. But it's just make sure the baby is in my uterus and not my fucking ovary again.

I'll have another 2 weeks after that one.

I gotta admit I feel peaceful. I feel like this was meant to happen. The events leading up to this sucked ass but yanno, what can ya do about it.

Just trying to keep faith.

Also, Charlie said he wants a sister.. how about a brother buddy.. I don't really want a girl lol

[lilliannnxo]

Well shit

Beta came back at 625. 33 hour doubling time.. okay baby..