LilSquatch @lilsquatch7898 - Tumblr Blog

STORMBOUND - 5

words: 5.7k

summary: now returned home, so'lek has become so distant he has disappeared. who was he to abandon you when you could not run to find him?

contents: solek x fem!aranahereader, angst, fighting, injury, mild kissing, sad times

notes: yay!! i wrote the next part. i was conflicted making this the last part but there is something i so desperately want to add (perhaps from the ashes) but i am scared to ruin the pacing so it is gonna be in the next part. (and if y'all dont want some good ole angst i won't ruin the story for y'all)

masterlist / previous part / next part

Hometree rose beyond the distance, its large leafy silhouette beginning to reveal itself in the distance. Its roots curled into the forest floor, wrapped in bioluminescent vines that moved with the people. Soon, the sounds of hometree reach your ears, the calls of your people, the rustle of the leaves, the fires crackling.

You wanted to feel a relief.

Yet your body was agonizingly heavy.

A woven mat looped between two thick logs waited at the entrance, worked into a makeshift stretcher. You had been cradled into So’lek’s chest for the entirety of the long trip back. Your fingers clenched to his vest, unable to trust your own body anymore.

You couldn’t find comfort in that time though. Not when So’lek’s body was as rigid as stone, his muscles wound so tight you were certain they would snap.

Eetu and So’lek lowered you onto the cot with painstaking care. As if the air itself may hurt you if the wind was too harsh. Eetu murmured soft reassurances, but they barely reached you. Everything was quiet compared to the aching pain that radiated through your leg, up from your ankle and deep into your hip. It anchored so deep into your bones you feared it had decided to live there permanently.

So’lek was close by the entire time.

His hands lingered too long on your shoulder as you were shifted towards the healer’s circle. His presence hovered as you were lowered to the ground, crouching beside you close enough you could feel the heat radiating off him.

Yet he barely looked your way.

He only spoke when he spoken to.

Etuwa’s hands grazed across your bandages, assessing the ways the Zeswa’s work. “She cannot bear weight,” She spoke softly. “Not for some time.”

“I know.” So’lek replied. His voice controlled, even.

Etuwa glanced up at him, her expression tightening. “She will heal here. She is safe here.”

Safe.

The words felt hollow. Meaningless.

You stared up towards the colourful drapes above you, light filtering through them in soft, shifting hues. The glow should have made you feel peace. Instead, it did nothing to ease the tightening knot in your stomach

So’lek shifted beside you, his arm grazing you just enough to make you shiver.

“She will need assistance.” Etuwa continued. “Constantly, and I cannot promise I will be here at all hours.”

“I will make arrangements.” He spoke.

You slowly turned your head towards him. Just enough to see his figure in the corner of your eye. He stood stiff and unmoving, hands clasped tightly in front of him, gaze facing anywhere but you.

He never looked at you.

It stung more than you wanted to admit.

“You are speaking as if I am not here.” You murmured. Your voice came out gruff and coarse. The winds drying your throat.

Etuwa startled slightly, she hadn’t realised you were awake. “Ah I apologise.” She stood up wiping her knees. “I will return soon with fresh herbs.”

The space cleared quickly as she left. A daunting silence that clouded the room. Once again it was just the two of you.

So’lek shifted, adjusting the mat beneath you, smoothing out creases that didn’t matter. He arranged your belongings in your reach with meticulous care. Every movement he made was precise and thoughtful.

Yet he was so distant.

“Thankyou.” You mumbled quietly.

So’lek paused briefly, and for a tortuously brief moment you thought he might finally look at you. Instead, he simply nodded. “Rest now.”

He turned after, moving toward the exit of the healer’s circle. Still no glance. No soft reassurances. No lingering glances. Just his broad silhouette walking away.

Walking away from you.

As if staying had become too much.

Your mouth twisted into a pained frown as the confusion and heartbreak began blooming in your chest.

He paused for just a second in the doorway, his hands slightly trembling. For just a heartbeat you thought he’d turn back.

Then the curtain fell closed with a final sound.

Your eyes stayed fixed on the curtain long after he was gone. A creeping deluded desperation gnawing inside of you.

The silence and solitary felt suffocating as you heard the faint sounds of hometree moving around you. But you remained anchored to the mat, unable to do anything but lay there and listen.

Thoughts ran through your head.

He’ll be back later.

He is just tired.

He wouldn’t just leave like that.

They clouded your consciousness. Swarming your brain to the point a dull headache churned inside your skull. It started to settle in that you were now finally home. Those six weeks stuck with the Zeswa now becoming a memory.

And yet, you couldn’t shake the feeling that nothing had truly changed but where you were now forced to lie.

Time moved strangely. The world moved around you yet you felt as if you were frozen in place.

Hours and minutes bled into each other until the difference between day and night blurred. Light shifted through the woven drapes, but you were never bothered to open your eyes. All you could do was sleep. Only awake for when Etuwa or Eetu came by to aid you.

You were grateful but you couldn’t help but let your thoughts stray to So’lek.

He had not returned.

Etuwa came and went, it was the only way you grasped onto fleeting time. She worked gently, her hands firm and careful replacing the herbs and bandages that seemed to fuse into your skin.

“He will being fresh water later.” She said adjusting the mat below you, fluffing the soft pillow below your head.

“So’lek?” You asked, naively hopeful.

Etuwa frowned slightly shaking her head. “No, Eetu shall come.”

You let out a sigh nodding. You were grateful for your people’s support, however you were unable to shake off the lingering blooms of disappointment within you.

Eetu came by just as dusk was approaching. A bright smile on his face, a carved cup on his hands.

He crouched beside you his expression warm. “Did you sleep well?”

“Not particularly.” You admitted.

His expression faltered for just a moment. “Ah…” He set the water beside you. “Good sleep will come.”

You huffed, facing your head towards the ceiling. “It is hard to sleep when you are…displaced.”

Eetu tilted his head, a hand coming to rest on your shoulder. “It is hard to be home again. Especially when you return changed.”

The words were heavy

Changed.

You glanced down at your leg. Its ugliness concealed in layers of thick leaf bandages and bindings that began to feel more like restraint than protection.

“Have you seen So’lek recently?” you asked trying to move the conversation along.

Eetu hesitated for a brief moment.

“I saw him when he brought you home.” He said slowly. “He spoke with Etuwa, he said he had matters to attend to.”

Your heart sank, inhaling a deep breath. “Matters.”

“Yes.” He shrugged. “The forest does not simply pause because one of us is injured.”

You exhaled a shattered sigh. Trying to put on an understanding face as if the sentence didn’t twist something deep inside you. “Of course.” You murmured. “He has many duties.”

Eetu stayed still for a moment. His eyes studying your expression. “He carries things heavily.” He said, “Heavier than most.”

You didn’t respond.

Because somewhere within you, you hoped you were something he carried.

A couple nights later a realization settled in you uncomfortably deep.

What if So’lek was only avoiding you? You could’ve sworn you heard his voice outside. Low and controlled. Speaking with Eetu or Etuwa. You were certain it was his voice but no one ever mentioned that he had been visiting.

You were beginning to believe you were going crazy. Catching his cadence in breeze, your body responding before your mind could rationalize what you were hearing. Your breath hitching, heart lifting in anticipation that he would waltz through the curtains and come see you.

As the light dimmed beginning another night, you caught yourself staring into the faint glow of the fire in the other side of the room. Your leg throbbed, but the pain did not subdue the ache in your heart.

You had begun to wonder if you were imagining him entirely.

The way he looked at you.

The way his hands lingered. His touch soft and careful.

Maybe he never thought of you that way. It was just an obligation. Just guilt.

His words stuck with you.

“Until I can get you back home safely. I will be here.”

And now, you were home. Surrounded by the safety and support of your own people. Perhaps his duty to you had finished.

The thought settled in your stomach like stones.

Etuwa had you sat up enough in the healer’s tent, washing your body with a woven rag and a bucket of water. You told her that you were able to do it by yourself. And yet every movement sent flaring pain through your leg, sweat beading along your spine. But you refused to make your troubles heard.

You were tired of being fragile.

As Etuwa wiped away your sweat she spoke casually. Filling the silence with small observations. What has been happening outside your small, secluded part of hometree.

“So’lek came by. He seemed restless.” She mentioned absently.

Your heart jumped at the mention of his name. “So’lek?”

“Yes” Etuwa hummed, her attention moving to applying a green paste to your wound. “He has been lingering but never staying long. He is helping the Sarentu find their way within Hometree.”

“He has been visiting?” Your fingers curl into the mat below you.

“Occasionally.” Etuwa glances up at you, something wary flickering across her features. “And not for long. Never longer than it takes to eat a meal.” She corrected gently. “He makes sure you are tended to. He brought me these herbs here.” She gestured towards the paste on your leg.

“But he does not come.” You whispered, shuddering at the breeze hitting your damp skin.

Etuwa didn’t deny it. “I think So’lek believes distance is a kindness.” She says after a beat of silence. “Sometimes even the toughest of warriors struggle with battles from the heart.”

You let out a humourless laugh. “I am not a battle he needs to fight.”

Etuwa let a hand rest on your shoulder as she rises. “You are home and surrounded by love.” She speaks. “Do not let distance convince you otherwise.”

But the distance had fangs.

And they were beginning to sink in.

By the third week back home, you stopped listening for him.

It wasn’t consciously. Your body still reacted to certain sounds. Footsteps that were too heavy, voices too low. But your mind did not follow. It was easier that way. So’lek had done his duty. Carried his guilt away with him.

Etuwa no longer mentioned his name, neither did Eetu.

And painfully, you let yourself believe that your time with the Dog-tag warrior had come to and end.

Healing was slow and predictable. A routine engraved into the threads of your day. Etuwa would change your bandages, tested your strength, hands guiding you to slowly move your leg once again.

You had begun to learn the limits of your body. Though it was tiring and painful. It was progress.

You were sitting upright rested against a carved piece of wood when Eetu walked into the healer’s circle. He carried a bundle of small cloths and some fruit, a smile forming on his face as he realized you were awake.

“You look stronger today.” He spoke.

“Do I?” you ask with a small smile.

He nodded crouching down to sit with you. “Mhm. Slowly but surely. You will be walking again I know it.”

Your face warmed as the comment passed you. Your gaze drifting to the curtain. Life beyond the healer’s circle felt so distant. Like life outside was simply a spectacle, unable to participate. But as the days went by you were eager to escape your den. To reach outside, to go back to normal.

“So’lek will be relieved to hear it.” Eetu said after following your gaze.

You blinked. “What?”

Eetu paused, confusion etching on his face. “That you are improving? He will be happy to hear it.”

Your heart suddenly lurched out of your chest, thrashing against your ribcage. “You’ve…seen him?”

Eetu hesitated, clearing his throat. “Yes…he was here this morning.”

Your breath caught for a moment. “Here? At Hometree?”

Eetu nodded. A slight frown forming on his face. “He spoke with Etuwa, brought her some more herbs. Strong ones…and many of them.”

It felt like the room was spinning, words jumbling and swarming you. “He was here?” You repeated faintly.

Eetu studied your expression, assuming the words he had said had made your stomach twist. “He comes often.”

Often.

The word rang in your head, loud, buzzing and unforgiving.

“He hasn’t.” You shake your head. “No…because he hasn’t seen me.”

Eetu’s shifted uncomfortably in his place. Realization dawned on him slowly. “Oh.”

The silence after was thick and suffocating. Full of words neither of you knew how to say.

“You thought…” He paused picking his words carefully. “That he had not returned.”

“Yes.” The words were tight and sharp. Your tongue snapping like a whip. “Because no one had mentioned anything. Because I haven’t seen him in weeks.”

Eetu lets out a heavy exhale. “I am sorry Ma eylan.”

“So, he comes,” you whisper, fingers curling into the mat below you. “Sees everyone else…but me?”

Eetu didn’t deny it. Which ached more.

Something hot started to burn behind your eyes. “Did he think I wouldn’t notice his absence?” Your voice trembled. “That I wouldn’t felt it?”

Eetu reached out, resting a soothing hand on your shoulder. “I think So’lek believes he is doing the right thing. That you did not want him to mull around you any longer.”

Those words hit hard. Those words are ones you had spewed at him just days before you both left the Upper Plains. The words that hit him right before he said he would be there for you until you got home.

“He is wrong.” You say harshly. “Because this…this hurts more.” Your chest was tighter, too full. “I took his presence for granted it seems. Even his sorrows still filled this empty void.” You gestured to the room around you.

“I shall talk to him.” Eetu says gently taking your hands. “Come, we will try standing again. Healing must prevail even with its barriers.”

You let out a sigh letting Eetu grasp your hands as he hauled you up. Your healthy leg doing its most to aid you up. The pain radiated through your other leg as you felt the blood rush down.

You stood weakly, trembling in his hands but you were still standing. Regaining back the normalcy in your life you had begun to crave. And yet, with all of your milestones your mind still lingered.

What would a normal life be worth if you had to live without him? Had these weeks made you weak? A woman susceptible to hopeless romance only to be the victim of heartbreak.

That while your entire life stood still in this small room. The man you craved most to bring you out lacked the courage to enter it.

You were laying on your mat, eyes heavy with sleep. Your days that were filled with mundane nothingness still managed to tire you out. Pain still radiated through your body but it started to dim. Eetu had even managed to aid you in walking two steps earlier today.

You thought that was why you were so tired. And it plagued you. Two steps. A motion you took for granted, if you could go back in time before your injury you would never stop running.

As the silence of the night started to creep into hometree you heard an unfamiliar rustle behind you.

Your ears pricked up as you felt the sudden shift in the air. Your chest tightening instinctively, your hands bracing beside you. You heard footsteps. Heavy and familiar.

You didn’t have to look to know.

“So’lek?”

His name felt almost foreign in your mouth, you had not uttered it in so long.

“Yes.” His voice was soft, slightly hoarse as he tried to lower his tone.

Your breath hitched, hands gripping onto the mat despite your efforts to stay still. Your eyes fixed themselves on the shelves and jars in front of you.

For weeks you had trained yourself to not expect him. To disallow any hope, you had of him returning. But now you felt your body immediately betray you with one whisper from his tongue.

Silence stretched, you had not found the courage to turn around yet, but you could feel his presence looming closer. His shadow from the warm fire casting over your body.

After another beat of silence you turned to face him. And the room became unfathomably loud. He had barely breached the entrance. His hands clasped together behind his back, his gaze flickered from your small form to the room surrounding you.

“You have been busy.” Your voice was bitter, sharp and ready to stab.

“Yes…I have been with the Sarentu.” He muttered softly, walking further into the room. The curtain falling behind him, sealing your privacy.

“Ah...how are they?” Your words conveyed little care. Your tongue trying its best to twist the small talk into something meaningful.

“Good.” He spoke. His body was full of tension. Threads woven so tight, one movement he would snap. His muscles were stiff, everything still except his mouth.

Awkward silence filled the room once again. Its presence thick and muggy. Suffocating the space between you. No glances were shared, no words. Just slow, drawn out quiet.

So’lek cleared his throat pointing his gaze back to you. “Eetu said you were standing.”

You hummed. “Only with help.”

“Do not diminish your achievements. That is progress.” So’lek’s tone was sweeter now, as if the notion of you healing brought a weight off his heart.

“It is hard to notice progress when my enclosure stays untouched.” Your words were cruel, referring to yourself as some sort of spectacle to be viewed. No longer a person but a burden to be monitored.

“But others have noticed it.” So’lek whispered, his words trying to cool the burn of your speech.

“You would have too.” Your gaze finally met his, sharp and cruel. Pupils as dangerous as daggers glaring within him. “If you ever visited me.”

The words landed like a dagger to his heart.

So’lek stilled to a halt. For a slither of a moment, you thought he may pretend he had not heard a thing. That he would leave the words suspended in the air unanswered. Instead, his shoulders sagged, only just. As if the strength holding him upright had begun to slip.

“I did visit.” He said quietly, almost defeated.

You scoffed before you could stop yourself, turning your gaze away from him. “Then why did I not see you.”

He let out a ragged breath. His jaw tightening. He hovered over you, taking a step closer.

“I came almost everyday.” He admitted. “I made sure you were taken care of.”

“Taken care of? Like I am some sort of chore?” You spat, your words cutting him.

“No.” He replied quickly, fast enough that his tongue almost tripped on the words. “I thought…” He stopped, swallowing hard. “I thought that you did not want me here.”

Your brows knit together, confusion and a growing bloom of anger bubbling within you. “What?”

“In the upper plains.” He said softly, sensing your growing tension. “You…asked me to stop hovering, to not mull around you.” He grimaces as the words leave his mouth, as if they pain him to say it. “That I was doing more harm than good.”

His voice dropped.

“When you returned home…I was not needed. That my presence would only make you feel smaller.”

His words stunned you into stillness.

“So you decided for me?” you whispered harshly.

“I thought I was respecting you!” His voice raised, the air in the room shifting into something sharper.

“You think disappearing is respect?” Your voice rose. “You think leaving me alone in a room I cannot escape is dignity? As if Eywa has not taken my liberties away with her will?”

He grimaced, flinching at the fire you spewed.

“As if I have not been moved from one prison to another! That I hold my own key but I cannot stand to grab it!” Emotions bubbled within you, every thought, every feeling, every prayer beginning to building within you. Your own emotional eruption imminent.

So’lek went to say something…anything. But words failed him. All he could do was listen, watching how much he had failed you.

“I didn’t want to be handled.” Your words came out as if you were defeated, your lips trembling with each sentence. “I didn’t want to be watched as if I would shatter. I wanted to be seen!”

His eyes widened slightly. His brain reeling with thoughts. How wrong had he been? How much had his guilt clouded his vision? To see what was so clear in front of him.

“You treated me like I was already gone,” you continued. “Like if you touched me I’d shatter!”

“I thought I was protecting you.” His voice shook as he crouched beside you.

You shook your head violently, as if you could fling the tears from your eyes. “You were protecting yourself.”

“No-”

“I am not fragile.” You hissed, shifting on the mat. Your palms braced on either side of you. Fingers curling into the fibres.

“I never said you were.” His head hung low.

“Your actions did.” You reached back, fingers locking around the log behind you, muscles straining as you pushed yourself up. “Every time you decided for me.”

“What- What are you doing?” Hid head snapped up, panic flaring in his eyes as he watched you drag yourself upright. “Ma Eylan- be careful!”

“Don’t!” Your voice cracked with warning. “Don’t help me!”

“You will hurt yourself!” So’lek was already preparing for the worst. His cautions falling on deaf ears. “Please- do not do this!”

“I must.” You snarl, forcing more pressure on your injured leg. Pain exploded instantly, white hot and vicious. Yet you welcomed it. “I need to! Because I choose to.”

“Stop!” His hand closed around your arm. “You do not need to prove anything!”

You shoved him with enough force he stumbled back, his hand still grasped around you.

“I didn’t ask for your permission,” you cried, yanking yourself free.

Your balance shattered.

The world slipped beneath your feet.

For just a heartbeat you were weightless. Toppling down through the air until the floor rushed to meet you.

Pain detonated through your leg. A sharp, broken cry tearing from your throat. Your hands scraped uselessly against the walls as you tried and failed to catch yourself.

So’lek was there in an instant.

“No- no, no,” He gasped, hands hovering inches from you, terrified to touch you, frozen by his own fear. Once again, his intervention had caused you harm. “Eywa- please.”

“Don’t!” you sobbed, shoving weakly at his chest as your body convulsed. Tears burned hot down your cheeks. Your breath coming in shallow, broken pulls. Nausea rising as the pain swallowed everything.

A loud sob erupted from your throat. Shame and regret piling up inside you. Maybe you were as weak and hopeless as everyone else saw you. Were you to ever recover? Had you destroyed the minute progress you had made in a moment of irrational stupidity?

So’lek was frantic around you, his tail lashing, pupils blown. You laid broken before him, and he was hopeless to helping you. Despite your faint resistance his arms wrapped around you as is Eywa herself were trying to rip you away.

Distance would not save him now.

“What were you thinking?!” He choked, his breath ragged, hands brushing your hair from your face. His thumb catching the tears that spilled over your cheeks.

“I just-” A cry ripped from you as a searing white pain shoot through your leg mercilessly. “I don’t want to live like this. I don’t want to be fragile; I don’t want to be cared for- I just want to live again.”

So’lek’s hold on you was careful. Yet he didn’t hold you as if you were something broken- but something that was precious.

“You were never fragile.” His voice was softer now, nothing but tenderness and care. “You are so strong…so much stronger than I ever could be.”

Your lip quivered, finally leaning into his touch. The warmth of his skin slowly dulling the growing ache in your leg. “Don’t leave.” You whimper clutching onto to his chest. A stark difference to the strikes you were landing on him before. “Please.”

“I won’t.” So’lek’s head bent down, bringing your forehead closer to his. Your skin resting against each other, noses brushing. “I will be here.”

And in the quiet aftermath, So’lek finally understood that his fear had never kept you safe, it had only ripped you further away from him.

The ache in your leg lingered, but it no longer screamed.

It pulsed dully, like a bruise pressed too often. Yes, it was painful but survivable. It no longer anchored you to the ground, instead simply an obstacle to overcome.

So’lek was close, helping you settle back on to your mat. His movements were slow, careful without being suffocating.

He stayed.

Not outside the curtain, watching from a far.

He stayed beside you.

For a while it felt strange. You had become accustomed to his absence, a constant shadow that seemed to follow you. Your body expected the distance as he vanished from you.

Now it didn’t know how to be without him.

The world was quiet, but the silence was not suffocating. It was cozy and comforting. The light slowly filtering into the room, its warmth caressing your skin.

Yet your body was still tense. Even in the softest of moments, you found yourself bracing for impact. The fear of another searing hot flare shooting through your body. Your hands curled in on themselves waiting to be swept away again.

“You should rest.” So’lek whispered. He noticed the way your shoulders remained tense.

“I am resting,” you replied, though your body betrayed the lie.

He shook his head; a small grin tugging at his mouth. “Ah…your body disagrees.”

You rolled your eyes weakly, hissing as your leg twitched. “Traitor.”

A soft sound escaped him, not quite a laugh, but close enough that your chest warmed at the sound.

“Are you feeling restless?” He questioned, his voice rumbling deep.

“Always.” You replied quickly.

“Do you want to move?” His head tilted down to meet you eyes.

“Do you always ask such stupid questions?” You chuckled looking up at him. “Of course I want to move.”

So’lek rolled his eyes. “I know that. I mean now. Do you want to try?”

You shake your head, worry in your eyes. “We know what happened last time.”

So’lek grimaced. “You will be fine.” He stood slowly, offering his hand. There was no expectation, he was going to go at your pace.

You placed your weary hand in his. Taking a deep breath.

This time, when your pulled yourself up. It was not an action done to prove something. It was an action made to progress.

Your body didn’t panic. The pain was still there, but it didn’t swallow you whole. So’lek stayed still, he let you guide him. He only touched unless you leaned into him. Which you did…just a little.

“One step Ma Eylan.” He murmured. “You can do it.”

You nodded, your breath hitching.

You had not taken a step in months. Confined to the walls your own body imprisoned you too. One step was all you needed.

Your foot slid forward, it was stiff and unfamiliar. You stood still for a second glancing down at the small movement you had made, trembling. Then you let out a shaky laugh. “I did it.”

“I knew you could.” He said, pride softening his features. So’lek took another step backwards, giving you the space to move once again. “Again. I believe in you.”

You took another step.

Then another.

Each one felt like a victory, while small it was monumental. By the time your leg began to ache, you were grinning despite the sweat beading along your spine.

“You have done so well.” He said gently, worried you may push yourself too far. “Come.”

He guided you back to the mat, slow and steady as your body limped. He eased you down, then sat beside you. Close enough that your shoulders brushed.

You leaned into him without thinking.

For a heartbeat he froze…then relaxed. His arm settling around you, firm and warm. You fit there perfectly, as if your body had meant to be there all along.

“I am happy.” You whispered.

He tilted his head, resting his temple against yours. “As am I.”

Your fingers toyed with the dog tags on his chest, absentminded. “You know” your murmured, “If you leave again without telling me, I might actually kill you.”

His breath huffed against your hair in a short laugh. “Noted.”

You tilted your head up.

And he was already looking at you.

You didn’t realize how close you were until your breath tangled with his.

So’lek stilled, but he didn’t pull away or move closer. As if he was afraid even the smallest shift would shatter this moment. His pupils were blown wide, swallowing the gold of his eyes.

His gaze was fixed on your mouth, pulling him in as if it had become something dangerous.

Something sacred.

“You are so beautiful.” He whispered, his voice barely sound.

His hand came up slowly, as if he was asking for permission. His thumb brushed along your jaw, tracing your neck, feeling where your pulse raced beneath your skin. His touch was light and tentative, no longer the hands of a warrior but the hands of a lover.

You leaned into it.

And that was all it took.

Your breath stuttered, chest lifting sharply. The hand at your jaw tightened just slightly. His forehead rested against your own. His breath hot and uneven against your lips.

“I have wanted this,” he admitted, his words rough, torn from deep within him. “For so long…but I feared I did not deserve it.”

Your fingers curled into his vest, fisting the fabric as if it was the only thing keeping you upright. “I need this.”

For just a moment, he hesitated.

Then he kissed you.

Slowly. Carefully.

His lips brushed yours, barely there, a whisper of touch that sent a shock through your body, sharper than any pain. The world seemed to tilt, sensing narrowing until all you could feel was the warmth.

When you kissed him back, he exhaled a broken sound against your mouth.

The restraint shattered.

His hand slid from your jaw to the back on your neck, his fingers threading through your hair, pulling you further into him to deepen the kiss. It was unhurried but certain. His lips moved against yours with precision, slow and thought out. As if he was learning you, memorizing the shape of your lips, the sounds of your mouth, the taste of your tongue.

You had melted into him. The hand on his vest flattened, travelling up to the bareness of his neck feeling his heartbeat race beneath your palm – fast and wild.

He kissed you as if he was grounding himself. Like he was afraid that you may vanish if he didn’t hold on.

His thumb brushed your cheek as you let out a small gasp, his lips melting further into you. He could feel the hunger build inside him with every swipe his tongue made against your lips. Hands gripping you tighter pulling you closer into him. He would not end this kiss without your sign. He would move at your pace, by your side for as long as you needed him.

Your lips lingered, pulling away for air. Then they pressed against his, a final kiss, sealing a promise in the space between you. When you finally pulled back, So’lek held you close, foreheads touching, noses brushing, breath shared.

“I am here.” He whispered.

You smiled, small and real. “I know.”

Later that night, when the fire had burned and the room smelled of crushed herbs and smoke, So’lek returned.

He had left earlier to gather you some more herbs. You told him that there was already some there, but he was adamant the ones he would gather were better. To your dismay, he was correct.

So’lek was beside you studying the wraps on your leg. “I made you a drink, it will help you regain strength.” He reached for the water cup beside you.

He held it up. “Drink.”

You obeyed, only to grimace immediately, face contorting as you swallowed. “This tastes like bark.”

So’lek chuckled. “It is bark.”

“Gross.”

Soft silence filled the room, So’lek shifted closer, easing you against his shoulder. The sounds of his comms crackling and talking. “What is it?” You asked looking up at him.

So’lek stifled a frown. “I have to go at first light.” He let out a deep breath. “I have one last…” He stopped himself looking down at the dog tags that adorn his chest. But you understood what he meant.

“You will come back.” It wasn’t a question.

“Of course.” He promised. “I can show you my home, when I return.”

“At resistance?”

So’lek shook his head. “No…it is like,” he smiled looking down “A haven.”

You grinned, fingers tightening around his. “Well, you must take me to see it.”

“I will take you anywhere your heart desires Ma eylan.”

He pressed his forehead to yours, his lips caressed the soft skin. A promise of his return sealed with a kiss.

Outside the forest begun to shift.

Neither of you knew that this small moment of happiness would crumble so quickly.

a/n: soz if theres any typos i really hate editing LMAO but if u guys want the next part plz tell me i can def end the story here if u want it to have a nicer end but i am conjuring some ideas with the from the ashes pack (also i'd never end this story on a bad ending just am a sucker for MORE angst)

plzplzplz reblog and comment i wanna hear from y'all i appreicate you guys sm! okyeeeee byeeee

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