nevertheless

[linpwrithp]

going to put my big boy pants on and ask the connections that i do have for help with my needing a new house situation. i already have a bit. it is not hopeless my life is not hopeless people are generally kind and i am capable of displaying graciousness without debasing myself for needing help

[linpwrithp]

Just saying it’s pretty horrible to be at my mother’s (being aggressively verbally abused randomly most days about whatever because that’s part of the deal) and feeling extremely hurt over having to find a new place like it is overall quite uh. Bad

[linpwrithp]

highland cow lady won in one of her categories! championship round tomorrow. she’s really nice and it’s her first show, i’m stoked for her

[linpwrithp]

mum has guests currently who are here to show their highland cows at the highland cow show and i just had the extraordinary pleasure of overhearing Scottish husband have a lightly heated phone conversation about the width of drainage channels

[orpheuslament]

i need (abruptly stops talking & stares at some random fixed point with a vacant expression)

[linpwrithp]

beanie inside and tights under trackies weather

[linpwrithp]

chemist checkout lady was really judgemental about my colour choice

[linpwrithp]

she’s swollen

[linpwrithp]

When I had an emergency session with my therapist she mentioned that I did have social supports (friends to complain to and parents to stay with) which really made me grateful, and so I reached out to a lot of people tonight. One, who was sober for a good six months!! told me they’d relapsed and were thankful for an understanding ear. Sent me this photo from a great night. Made out with both pictured, obviously. So like this is quite different to how I have previously handled adversity by being silent and sequestering myself away. I do have a lot of problems and some are innate and some are shameful but I can still connect with others. In fact it’s mutually beneficial to.

[linpwrithp]

My dad messaged asking if I wanted to keep my childhood teddies. So farewell Pink Ted and Brown Ted. I loved you

[linpwrithp]

It’s what anyone would do in the same situation

[linpwrithp]

really wish id taken the offer of my bogan uncles caravan via my grandparents years ago despite it needing a lot of work and me having nowhere to put it. that would be really useful for peace of mind. i bought an SUV specifically because if needed i could sleep in it. these are really not great signs for a functional society and also are not great thoughts to have to have constantly especially as someone who is disabled including physically by stress and other shit. and who has been many types of homeless including like, plastic bag and hostel. i do have a secret chunk of family money i have never touched but i looked into it and it’d last three months supplementing me living alone. so while all of this is blaring I now have to sell myself to existing sharehouses. i want to throw up

[linpwrithp]

Just started the first ep of ER. See you in ages I guess, gonna be really busy using it to make me cry

[linpwrithp]

among other things im really bummed about planning to go to a sex worker narrative salon last week right after my life was nuked and so not being up to it. it’s on again tomorrow but im away. sad!

[linpwrithp]

[linpwrithp]

ah of course. i must make a dramatic and financially inadvisable change to my appearance. that will fix my problems

[linpwrithp]

everything is sososososososo fucked but i didnt die driving 8 hours and these bitches are obsessed with me