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Mike Driver

Product Placement

祝日 / Permanent Vacation

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@lionrampant
gonna be inactive for a while! (running on an untagged queue)
((this is mainly so people who usually DM me know I’m not ignoring them, I’m just not here))
I don't know how I'm ever expected to be normal again after watching this. this video is already lodging itself deep within my vocabulary as I type
imagine cloth mother and wire mother in family court competing for custody of the baby monkey
I Have Softness For You
i have milk for you
Stop.
Cut the baby monkey in half
[INT. WAYSTAR'S OFFICES]
[LOGAN and KENDALL are standing looking at each other, the skyline of New York behind covered in an orange tint. The scene is eerie, dreamlike.]
KENDALL
W-Why couldn't just... step aside! You fucking old bastard! Why couldn't you just fucking...
[LOGAN remains unmoving, no reaction on his face.]
KENDALL
Dad, I was good enough. I was a KILLER! I was a fucking badass, Dad! I was like... fucking Eminem on a suit. I was like... I was... (catching his breath) I did everything you wanted. Everything.
[LOGAN remains ummoving. KENDALL pauses.]
KENDALL
(yelling, broken) WHY COULDN'T YOU LOVE ME!
[KENDALL begins to strangle LOGAN. KOMM, SUSSER TODD begins to play in the background as the camera distorts]
...
[INT. WAYSTAR'S BOARDROOM]
[FRANK, GERRI, KARL and HUGO are sitting on a table, on a darkened room]
FRANK
The beginning and the end are one and the same.
GERRI
(looking at the roof) We tried. At least, I like to think we did.
FRANK
It's all up to the kids now.
KARL
I wish I was in my fucking private island.
[KARL explodes into orange LCL fluid. The others soon follow.]
...
[INT. LOGAN'S APARTMENT]
[CONNOR and WILLA are huddled under a desk, the marbled floor covered in orange liquid. The orange glow outside grows stronger, and the scene is dreamlike]
CONNOR
Willa. Nobody will know now. If you want to say you're with me for the money, you can tell me.
WILLA
Connor. I would never be with you for something as superficial as that. (pauses, with an enigmatic smile) I'm with you for the power, Mr. President.
[They laugh. CONNOR knows it's a lie. WILLA knows it's a lie. They hug and they explode into LCL.]
...
[INT. A LONELY ATN CUBICLE]
[GREG is typing maniacally at a laptop]
GREG
(unhinged)
I-I d-don't understand. No. I... I DO understand. Sorry, sorry Mom. Sorry gramps... sorry, I shouldn't have done that... I... I... I...
[a ghostly TOM materializes, hugging GREG from behind. GREG begings to cry, out of joy, perhaps.]
GREG
Tom-senpai!... senpai, senpai, senpai, senpai, senpai!
[Both GREG and TOM explode into LCL. The laptop screen reads "you can't make a Tomelette without breaking some Greggs" repeated over and over.]
...
[INT. SHIV'S AND TOM'S APARTMENT]
[SHIV is crying, apparently talking alone. The camera pans, and it's a ghostly version of herself, YOUNG SHIV, standing in front of her]
YOUNG SHIV
But Dad's still proud of us, right?
SHIV
Y-Yes, he fuck- (corrects herself, and wipes out a tear), he is.
YOUNG SHIV
And... you're happy, right?
SHIV
(crying)
I am.
YOUNG SHIV
Don't cry, then. We are happy.
[A ghosty hand takes SHIV'S hand. She looks up, and smiles, but the camera doesn't show who they are. SHIV explodes into LCL]
...
[EXT. ROMAN'S BALCONY]
[ROMAN is drinking whisky while looking at the New York skyline. THE PORTAL is growing bigger. It will soon engulf the city and then the world. ROMAN knows there's nothing he can do about it.]
[GERRI is standing next to him, leaning back on the balcony, with a little distance. They seem to have been talking for a while]
GERRI
You were afraid, Roman.
ROMAN
(scoffs). Of course I was fucking afraid! I was fucking afraid of pissing all over Dad's fucking pharaonic legacy, like his fucking pyramids. I was afraid to get fucked, I mean, I was fucking literally afraid of it. I was afraid of dying like a useless fuckboy who was born into fucking Mount Olympus and couldn't command a fucking hot-dogs and blowjobs stand!
[a long pause]
ROMAN
(sentimental)
I was always afraid.
GERRI
Not with me.
[They both stare at each other for a minute]
ROMAN
Would you have said yes?
[Gerri stares at him, her face enigmatic. Then she explodes into LCL]
ROMAN
This fucking blows. (looking up at THE PORTAL) Thank you, bro.
[ROMAN explodes into LCL]
...
[EXT. TIMES SQUARE]
[The orange glow covers the whole city. The notes of KOMM SUSSER TODD keep playing. There is a general scene of chaos as people scream and run and explode into LCL]
[THE PORTAL is glowing and growing bigger. KENDALL looks at it, with a smile, his eyes unhinged, his mind lost.]
[He reaches his arm towards it, as if trying to grasp it. He cannot close it.]
FADE OUT, CREDITS.
Patterns from The Garfield Knitting Book by Joy Gammon, 1990. The book can be read for free in entirety here, courtesy of the Internet Archive.
that one song from persona: trinity soul that’s a swanky chill jazz song but then this rando starts rapping over the music one minute in without warning and they’re the worst bars you’ve ever heard in your life
im in the house like carpet
i am so happy people like this au!! more smb roleswap shenanigans [revamped designs] for u all
[full lineup below the cut]
Keep reading
miscellaneous mario & luigi/peach & daisy roleswap stuff i did back in september!!! kinda scuffed but ah well. i should go back to this idea eventually
Canada Goose (Branta canadensis)
© MaggyN
any cat owner already knew this
#unfair study; that cat is orange
ale fehr
Chapter Twenty-Eight: The Goncharov
Actually spent a solid 2 minutes trying to figure out where the post button was
“cain instinct” this “cain instinct” that. what about the reuben instinct where you hate your youngest sibling's guts but will still go out of your way to minimize the harm that comes to them. what about the judah instinct where you instinctively ask to be punished in place of your youngest sibling. what about the jacob instinct where your sibling is very hungry so u pettily make them promise you unreasonable things so that you'll give them food. what about the miriam instinct where you secretly watch over your baby sibling to make sure no harm comes to them.