Does anybody else just love classic literature for the sheer, insane wackiness of it? Like, I donāt even care that much about the writing quality or the fact that these novels/stories/plays changed the face of literature and culture forever. I just love these tales for the stupid drama and wacky characters.
Like Romeo and Juliet. The hero of the play, Romeo, is first introduced to us when his family talks about how heās literally been shutting himself up alone in his dark room and crying like all the time. Thatās one of the first things we learn about one of literatureās most famous romantic heroes. Incredible.
How about Mr. Rochester of Jane Eyre fame? There are all these real life people who swoon over him and Iām just over here like, I also love him, but not because heās a romantic hero. This dude not only talks to Jane in a super creepy way, but heās been hiding his mad wife in his attic for years. Not to mention at one point he dresses up like a fortune telling lady and tries to get Jane to admit she loves him. The audacity. And that just skims the surface of the insanity of that book. I love it.
Have you ever read some of the original Sherlock Holmes stories? Thereās unending craziness there. I mean, The Hound of the Baskervilles is straight up like a twisted episode of Scooby-Doo. And weāve all got one of those wacky neighbors that just sits on the moors and spies on people with his telescope, right? How about āThe Speckled Bandā, where a swamp adder is being sent through the vents to commit murder? And I donāt even have time to delve into the bizarre tale of āThe Red-Headed League.ā
The Scarlet Letter. The villainās name is literally Roger Chillingworth. Like, Nathaniel Hawthorne didnāt want you to have any doubt going into that book who the bad guy is. And let me tell you, Roger Chillingworth is straight up crazy. Like, whoa. Iconic.
And I donāt even know what to say about The Iliad. Iāve written before about the wacky chariot race that takes place immediately after the poemās most tragic death, but thereās so much more. How about the time Agamemnon tries to test his men by being like, āWe suck, we should just go home.ā And the dudes are all like, āThatās actually a great idea though.ā And they all start to pack up and flee to the boats, and Agamemnon is like, āWait. This wasnāt supposed to happen.ā And Odysseus and the bros have to go around frantically trying to stop everyone from fleeing for their lives.
Who could forget Kafkaās The Metamorphosis? A man literally turns into a gigantic bug. Or does he? Maybe itās all just a metaphor for being a burden to your family. Or maybe this dude actually just turned into a bug. Or maybe itās both. I hate it. But I also think itās amazing.
I donāt know if anything is crazier than Great Expectations though. I had to read that book in 9th grade, and I hated every minute of it, but boy do I love to look back on it now and just be like, what was that book even about? Thereās Miss Havisham, the jilted spinster whoās still sitting in her wedding dress, surrounded by the crumbling remains of all her wedding stuff. Symbolism. And she literally stopped all the clocks in her house at, like, the moment she was jilted or something. Sheās the epitome of petty rage. And the main character, Pip, runs into an escaped convict in the graveyard as a child, and then that convict later becomes Pipās mysterious benefactor who allows him to become a gentleman, and like, if you havenāt read it, donāt bother, but itās unbelievable.Ā
If youāve ever wanted to read more classic literature, but just couldnāt get into it, hereās my advice. Do what I do. Read the classics with a sense of humor. Find the wackiest thing you can and just laugh at it through the whole book. I used to hate Romeo and Juliet. Now I love it, and laughing at Romeoās dumb drama is my favorite thing every time.
