Storm of Heart - • - ✿ - • - Natasha hated nights like this. The storms would rage so loud it would rob her of being able to sleep, the lightening flashing through the sky reminding her of warden lights in the cold stone halls in the Red Room. As much as she despised stormy nights, she knew Bucky despised them even more. He had a hard enough time falling asleep with his PTSD, this only made it worse. After a particularly bright light flashing through her window, Natasha gave up on trying to sleep. Sighing she gets out of bed and taps lightly on Bucky's door before walking in. Sure enough, the troubled man was wide awake, sitting in bed with his arms folded looking like the human version of Grumpy Cat. "You too, huh?" He says when he sees her. "Yeah. It brings back too many memories." She nods. "Mind if I join you?" She points to the other side of the bed, wide open since he had a habit of curling up in a ball in one corner at night. "Be my guest." He scoots over a little, unnecessarily since he was nearly falling off of the bed as it were. Still, she couldn't help but smile at his old fashioned manners. "I've never liked lightening. It's too sudden," Natasha's brow furrows as she searches for the right word to explain how she feels. "exposing." She pulls her knees to her chest and looks over at him, hoping he will relax with conversation. For a couple of minutes, they sit in silence. "Germany. World War two." Bucky says finally opening up. He inches closer towards her in attempt to not fall off the bed. "The thunder sounds too much like the bombs that exploded, right before Hydra took the hundred and seventh. Before they started experimenting on me. Before I fell off that damned train. Before I became a monster." "Hey." Natasha reaches out placing her hand gently on his metal arm. "You are not a monster. What happened to you, what Hydra did, it wasn't your fault." He shakes his head, staring into his lap with sullen eyes. "I could have fought back." "You did. As best as you could. When someone reaches into your mind and plays, they change everything about you and control what you do. But your heart, who you are, you never changed." He shakes his head, still avoiding eye contact. "James, look at me." She leans her head closer so she could look into his face. "You're a good man." "Not really, no." He sighs shifting his gaze to look into her eyes. "But you're the only one who understands that." They were so close to each other at this point, their foreheads practically touched. In this moment, it was as if the world froze. There was a blissful calm outside and everything was silent. It was the most vulnerable Natasha had seen Bucky in since coming back into her life. It was the most honest Natasha had ever been in hers. Slowly, a burning desire to close the distance between their lips welts up in her chest, his lingering gaze telling her he was considering the same. Just before she acted on her thoughts, a brilliant bolt of lightning fills up the sky, causing the lights in the room to go out. The thunder wasn't far behind, much louder than it had ever been. They both gasp and jerk away from each other, the spell broken. Awkwardly shuffling back onto the farthest corner of the bed as the Tower generator kicks in, she realizes what she had almost done. "I'm sorry." She hastily apologized. "We should try to sleep." Bucky nods, once again silent, and turns out the light. They lie with their backs towards each other, Natasha facing the window and Bucky facing the door. As she watches the rain fall, her racing heart slows. Why did she almost kiss him?! What was she thinking?! There was no way it would have been returned. She was foolish for letting her heart get in the way. The Headmistress was right. Feelings were nothing but a distraction. Her mission in life was to help James recover, not fall back in love with him! But deep down, she knew the truth. She never stopped.Happy memories dance in her head, the thunder had finally stopped and the soft sound of the rain lulled them both to sleep. Like magnets as they slept, they both made their way closer to the center of the bed. Closer to each other. By the time morning came, the sun shining brightly in the window, Natasha found herself nestled up in Bucky's embrace; his arm around her shoulders the way she had seen him hold a pillow most nights when he slept. Not daring to move, she stayed there watching the birds fly by outside until she hears him wake. Closing her eyes, she feels him lift up to check on her. One by one he takes his fingers and then his hand off of her. A light kiss on her shoulder, barely there, and then his weight left the bed. Half an hour she waited, the slightest of smiles on her lips, before she got out of the bed and went back to her own room to change. When she emerges, Bucky was already dressed and eating with the rest of the team. "Mornin' Nat!" Steve says cheerfully. "Good morning." Natasha replies. Discreetly, she looks over at Bucky and they exchange a smile. They never speak of the night before.
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