we serve cunt here, sir @kalpeavaris - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
we serve cunt here, sir
@kalpeavaris
27 | she/they | eng/ger | multifandom artist
!! do not repost my work !! i will give you my dormant rabies
my body is a machine that turns characters into lesbians
('#my art' is my main art tag)
FAQ & Info Post - Commission Prices - Website - My Brushes
MY ART BOUNDARIES - ABOUT RE-POSTS & USAGE
✧ My AUs ✧
(click on the AU names to browse their appropriate tags on my blog & see the art/posts about them)
✧ [FNAF] Hateful, Horrible, I Love You
(domestic/alternative Willry AU where William's not killing everyones kids for the fun of it, and is instead living the normalTM life with Henry, Vanessa and Charlotte)
✧ [FNAF] A Smell Of Ember And Oil - AO3 Link
(post-FNAF 2 movie AU where Vanessa doesn't get possessed by Charlotte and is instead trying to mend things with Mike. Also, why is William here. How many times do we have to teach you this lesson old man)
✧ About me ✧
my name's Krähe, but you can also call me Kaj, KJ, whatever fits
I speak English & German fluently
26 years old
legally blind
multifandom, crossposting etc.
artist, writer & connoisseur of AUs
Germanic Pagan, interested in herbal medicine (vaccinate yo kids).
✧ [ My Socials ] ✧
✧ [ Interests ] ✧
Taxidermy, collecting dead things (won't be posting about this unless asked specifically, and if so it'll be tagged accordingly. Don't worry about dead stuff appearing on my blog.)
Reading, writing - the usual. I read a lot, I write a lot.
Art & other creative medias. I love doing crafts and traditional art too, even if it's too rare for me to share.
Singing. I'm not good at it, but it's fun and I love to do covers on occasion I never upload LOL.
Cooking. I love traditional german home cooking, especially from around the area I grew up in.
Languages & cultures. I love endulging in my own local culture & language (which is almost extinct, so I'm re-learning it), as well as learning about new cultures and seeking awareness about their struggles. I'm heavily interested in indigenous cultures around the world & their history.
Collecting in general. Taxidermy isn't the only stuff I have in my apartment, I also collect old books (my most treasured one is a US bible from the 1816s and shakespeare collections from the 1600s), gemstones, incense, vinyl records, figurines, plushies (especially of my favorite blorbos), alcohol bottles (even if I don't drink them), anything bunny/rabbit/fox/owl/opossum/sheep themed (my partner collects goats and fennecs) and pokemon cards.
✧ [ DNI... ish? ] ✧
Tbh I'm a firm believer that I do not need a DNI. People will interact with you regardless, and I've stopped caring about what other people like or dislike a long time ago. If someone comes across my blog and follows me, I'm not going to check if they're a bad person or if their ethic and moral values align with mine - that'd be a waste of time and frankly just more frustration for me to be met with potentially bad people on the daily.
So I don't really care about someone's values if they're simply interacting with my blog on a surface level (reblogging, liking, following, commenting publically). I draw the line at private contact if someone's a person I cannot accept in my space & I'll make that clear.
Which are normal human boundaries. So no, you won't find a DNI here in it's usual sight. But I'd prefer if you do not contact me privately (for whatever reason) if you're ethically defending shit like pedophilia, racism, any type of queerphobia/transphobia, facism etc. The stuff I feel like is common sense to be aversed towards.
I couldn't care less about fictional infighting, wether that be about headcanons, fanwork, ships or whatever. If you don't like the ships I work with I don't care. Just block or mute me.
Any "hate mail" or shit will be blocked and deleted, just pretend I replied with a quirky "cool story bro, I still dated your mom" reply.
✧ OLD AUs ✧
(not gone, not dead, just... in storage I GUESS)
✧ Murder Deers (MD but they're deer)
✧ Synemy (Uzi starts seeing Cyn's ghost) - AO3 Link
✧ A Bluejay's Feather / Forget Me Not (Jessa fanfiction with focus on J's development)
✧ All Eyes On You (Caine is corrupted by a virus, killing off the circus anti-virus) - AO3 Link
✧ [TADC] A Soul's Worth - AO3 Link
(Pomni gets isekai'd into a strange, nameless world filled with lost souls & finds companionship in a mismatched bunch of Strangers willing to help her, lead by a charming merchant dealing in human souls)
✧ [TADC] To Stay Gold - AO3 Link
(Jax partially abstracts at the end of Episode 6; sorta a "what if" scenario)
✧ [TADC] To Cure A Sinner - AO3 Link
(mafia/posse inspired AU for TADC)
Flowers for you for being on point about funnybunny from the beginning - I love your AUs of them and it’s beautiful
Accidentally predicting funnybunny by making every ship I lay hands on Yuri for the fun of it was not on my 2026 bingo list but I'll gladly take it TEEHEE
I just watched the last tadc ep today!!! How does it feel to be Right about funnybunny being Yuri all along? 😇 Your he/him lesbian jax is canon nowww <3
I FEEL SO GOOD!!! Funnybunny Yuri I always believed in you (head nodding emoji). I knew the power of yuri the second I saw these two on screen. No way José that fuckass rabbit was cis and/or straight!!
yknow i have this special ability to be bitten in my ass by my own words & going back on them but as many critiques i have with the finale i kinda grew to love it, especially the trans message going on
so i may... do draw tadc fanart... and may even have some jax art on the backburner... big fat sigh i'm really just a chud that cannot keep their own word for 2 weeks LMAOOO we back in business. but idk how much output in terms of tadc fanart i will do and if it will respark my AUs. but art's still here
if i see one more "jax just doesn't feel as if he'd be trans" take i will crash the fuck out and bite someone. wdym "jax doesn't feel trans" ??
since when do we trans people owe you "feeling as if they would/could be trans". what does that even mean. why are you weird & why can't you just accept canon and work with headcanons.
people being disappointed that she isn't cis is so fucking weirdddd
ive only had kit and malice for one episode but i know in my heart theyre in lesbians with each other. if theres no yuri between them by the end of the series i am going to start killing
honestly i doubt Kalice will ever have canon ground to stand on but that's the beauty of fandoms,,, we just do whatever we want in here!! and i'm famously known for not caring about canon when i can have LESBIANS!!!! >:))
but... maybe they will give us some crumbs... some WLW crumbs...
one more funnybunny doodle for the road? (only if you want to of course. 🥺💜 I just watched the final episode and have… feelings.)
its gonna be funnybunny themed!! head nodding emoji
and i feel you, i have a lot of feelings. i initially didn't vibe with the finale at all during the theatrical release, but eventually, with two rewatches on YT i grew attached to it. it's flawed in a lot of ways, but my initial negative feelings have dissipated and are now filled by crying!!!
having played some of the new season in Overwatch I have grown to love Shions story & character. that woman is batshit insane and i'm so here for it. i support women's rights AND wrongs. even if those wrongs mean violence and bloodshed. i have never heard a cooler nano voiceline than her just screeching like a banshee while rampaging the enemy team.
blizzard, i desperately need you to give me more playable omnic heroes with creative ideas behind their designs.
