Hockey Is Life

I love everything hockey. Specifically the Pittsburgh Penguins, Chicago Blackhawks, and Practically everyone else. I am sorry if I offended any Philadelphia Flyers fans.

[greenwithenby-deactivated201609]

People who prefer hot weather: Snow and ice are a pain, and the cold is just kind of uncomfortable even when you wrap up, you know?

People who prefer cold weather: MY SKIN LITERALLY MELTS OFF EVERY SUMMER I AM A FUCKING HUMAN SOUP AS WE SPEAK

[greenwithenby-deactivated201609]

you wouldn’t believe how many people reblogged this to whine about hot weather in the tags.

[nucleic-friend-deactivated20171]

too cold? put on another layer!

too hot? change into thinner clothes!

still too cold? put on another layer!

still too hot? uh, get naked I guess?

still too cold? put on another layer!

still too hot? Ţ̡̜̮̗̟̯͘ͅA̛͈͎̤͙̳̦̱̜̺̪K̢̻̥̥̥̪̙̜̩̗̼̤̻̻͖͍̜͈͉͠ͅE̟͕̩͔̪͓͔̥̦͇̣͇̳͕͉͜ͅ ̠̝̥̖̭̦̼́͝O̩̦͓̠͉̲̲̱̪̹̻̼̭̯͎͈̕͢F̷̸̢̛̙͇͔̜̙̮̗̲̤͇̯͡F̧̨̱̤̲̫͕͔̼̭͙̠̙͙̹̻ͅ ҉̫̠͓̙̠͔̕͜͠Y͡҉̴̘̭̬̳́O̶̶̧͚̞̣̯̩̫̜̩͉̤͎͖̖͟ͅU̶̵̺̠̪̘̱̮̮̙̻͈̣̦̭͠͝͞R̨҉̦̺͓̩̺͖̘̪̥̺͚̱͚͔̪͓̖̰ ̷̸̺͇̳͇̖̥̻̳͚̗̥͙̪̣́S̡̞̳͖̭̯͉̻̠͔̥̹̫̣̼̹͇͜K͏̧͍̪̗̖̜̫̙̱̫͈̟̝̮͈̻̺̯̟̠̀Į̧̙͙͔̠͖̟̕͝Ǹ͖͎̳͍̪̱̞͇̺̘̩͘͜͠

[the-mighty-birdy-deactivated202]

The cold is easily shut out, the heat is inescapable hell

[dashuramode]

THE TRUTH COMES OUT.

Avoidance techniques for the cold:

-more coats, fire, hot food and drink, stay inside, fuzzy sweaters, ear muffs, become a burrito

Avoidance techniques for heat:

-die, I guess.

[kaijuno]

HR: if they work 40 hours a week u have to give them benefits

Big company: hmm okay. They shall work 39

[tsoki]

HR: if they work 8 hours u have to give them a half hour lunch and intermittent breaks 

company: 7 hours and 50 minutes, it is 

[airframeextender]

the law: if theyre employees you have to pay for benefits

company: lets staff through a temp service and wait so long to hire them in they quit out of frustration

[lolotehe]

the law: You must pay them this and no less.

company: I shall pay them that and no more.

[officialweatherwax]

The law: you have to pay your employees

Company: then we’ll replace them all with interns

[adeles]

i’m tired™

[nexya]

I love how humans have literally not changed throughout history like the graffiti from Pompeii has people from hundreds of years ago writing stuff like “Marcus is gay” “I fucked a girl here” “Julius your mum wishes she was with me” and leonardo da vinci’s assistants drew dicks in their notebooks just for the banter and mozart created a piece called “kiss my ass” so when people wish for ‘today’s generation’ to be like ‘how people used to’ then we’re already there buddy we’ve always been

[charlesoberonn]

The Hagia Sophia has inscriptions that were considered sacred for centuries until they were deciphered in the 70s to be Nordic runes saying “Halfdan wrote this”

[terminallydepraved]

my old english prof told us that theres a cave in Scandinavia where a viking gratified some runes like 14 feet up on the wall and when they finally reached it all it translated into was “this is very high”

[loremerchant]

Ancient Shitposting

Now on the History Channel

[self-critical-automaton]

‘People have literally just always been people’ is genuinely my favorite fact about the world

[skaletal-deactivated20190721]

“Times are bad. Children no longer obey their parents, and everyone is writing a book.” - Marcus Tullius Cicero, 106 BC - 43 BC

[fxa]

so my chemistry teacher has a playful rivalry with the other teachers on her hall and yesterday a teacher anonymously left a note on my teacher’s board that said “my students are better than your students” so instead of guessing who it was my teacher went around the entire hall and stole pens out of every classroom and, as “an experiment in chromatography”, got us to drop water and rubbing alcohol on the note and sample marks made by the stolen pens to see what color the ink turned and when we figured out whose pen was used to write the note she went to the teacher in the middle of class and confronted her about it

[sidcrosbybro]

yes my favourite team is marc-andre fleury

[the-memedaddy]

[dormouseking]

My psychiatry professor says individuals with a higher IQ when children must be stimulated to develop it further or else they are more susceptible to develop anxiety and depression and also “falling off the curve”. And since as a child you can’t control the circumstances of your development, I’m sad to inform that your family and society have failed you.

[colbycub-deactivated20190228]

This explains…..so much

[blackoutmaatta]

olli määttä: wherever i go, you bring me home

[fourthlinebestline]

your fave is problematic- the vegas golden knights:

can’t fucking sc*re

[goodzillo-moved-deactivated2022]

friendly reminder that this dumbass tweet is 100% right

[europeanleafs]

” I… HAD … THE TIME OF MY LIFE!”

[valtsv]

literally anyone in the lord of the rings: oh geez we’re getting overwhelmed…we can’t hold the enemy back much longer…

legolas:

[starlightandtears]

All rapists can die. All the creeps who sexually assault people can literally drop dead.

[gingerlynnism]

That won’t fix the problem.

[bitterblackbitch]

Girl what… that’ll literally solve the problem lmaoo

[andwhatexcellentboiledpotatoes]

Can you believe that there are people who live so close to the ocean that they can just think “hey, I should go to the ocean” and then they just do???

[rubysevens]

Danny Devito and Jeff Goldblum both give off chaotic energies, but in opposite directions. One is the yin to the other’s yang. However, both are everyone’s uncle

[occasionallyomniscient]

Danny is ur dad’s brother and Jeff is ur mom’s

[blckhwkshockey]

Imagine: it’s your wedding day. The day you’ve been waiting for all your life. You found the perfect dress and you’re ready to marry the man of your dreams, the love of your life. The doors open and you begin to walk down the aisle. At the end, waiting for you, is your true love, Sidney Crosby. He looks amazing in his tux. Your eyes move down and that’s when you see it: he wore his yellow crocs to the ceremony.

[orangecuties]

Maybe the real Stanley Cup was the friends we licked along the way