Left Out In The Rain

Do certain events in our lives leave a permanent mark, freezing a piece of us in time, and that becomes a touchstone that we measure the rest of our lives against? (Not a BOY blog, just a little in love with those two.)

[littlesilversparrow]

In case you ever wondered, I'm terrible at handling death. I'm going to excuse myself from the world for a while.

[littlesilversparrow]

My mother always told me how Tolkien couldn’t find the kind of stories he wanted to read, so he wrote them. I kind of feel that way about BOY posts. I never see them on my dash, but they’re my favorite so I have to post stuff if I want to see it. Maybe I should start doing it for Eisley too because have you seen how photogenic they all are? That family is basically made up of fairies or elves or something and it’s almost unfair that they look like that and have serious musical talent.

[littlesilversparrow]

BOY | We Were Here era title cards for music videos

[littlesilversparrow]

Life update for anyone who cares:

I’ve been so incredibly busy with school lately, more busy than I’ve been in a long time. On the plus side, home life is pretty shit, so it’s nice to have school as a distraction to all of that. Also, I’ve been working on getting more serious with my photography and I might create an Instagram solely for my photos. I think I’m gonna focus on passing this semester first. After all, it’s my last one for photography; after that, it’s three classes for history and I’ll be done with two AA’s. We’ll see how all of that goes...

[littlesilversparrow]

No rearview could picture what we leave behind. Drive darling, drive.

(More gifs. Practice makes perfect right?)

[littlesilversparrow]

So guess who finally got Photoshop? Obviously the first thing I had to make gifs of were these two. There’s not nearly enough of them anywhere...

(I promise I’ll get better at making gifs.)

[littlesilversparrow]

It’s interesting how if you push and push and push, eventually I just stop caring? Bet you didn’t see that one coming.

Family drama sucks.

Parents can be assholes.

[littlesilversparrow]

Why do they do this to me?

[littlesilversparrow]

A quick sketch for the Commander to get some lingering feels out about 307. Reshwe Heda Lexa. Yu gonplei ste odon. Oso gonplei don jos stot au.

[littlesilversparrow]

Don't talk to me right now, I'm very sensitive about what happened on The 100. In fact, maybe don't talk to me for a while. Because I'm bordering the fine line between crying and fury and I don't want anyone to get caught in the aftermath of my emotions. I never get this emotionally involved in a show. I don't let myself. But just this once I did and look where that got me.

[littlesilversparrow]

EVIL!

EEEEeeevvvviiiillllLLLLLL! Evil. Evil.

Evil, evil, evil!

Evil evil.

(This has been my 666th post. Thank you.)

[littlesilversparrow]

Made these gifs a while ago and just thought I'd put them here. I really want to learn how to do them myself instead of using a website... Part 1/?

[littlesilversparrow]

I was looking through old-ish photos of BOY and came across this one on someone's Instagram. Maybe it's wishful thinking (since it's kind of hard to actually see) but it looks to me like Valeska's smiling. And do you know who's sitting where she appears to be looking? That's right. This nerd right here. Like I said, it might be wishful thinking, but it's nice to think that I have a still photo of one of those wonderful moments instead of just having them in the videos I got.

[littlesilversparrow]

Emotional rant ahead for those who want to skip it

I don't think there's much worse than a person who just says the things they know you want to hear. I spent two full hours tonight crying and talking with my parents to try and help them understand each other because sometimes they have trouble with that. It was like pulling teeth to get my dad to contribute anything but we were finally getting somewhere. As soon as I left, he did the opposite of everything we talked about and started another fight with my mom. He basically ignored two hours of me shaking and sobbing and trying to help. He heard nothing. I'm beyond done. I keep trying because he's my father, but if it were anyone else I would have walked away already. I'm so pissed. Infuriated. Every effort I make and every effort my mom makes is ignored. He tells us what he thinks we want to hear so we'll shut up and go away. Deep down, I know it's because he's misogynistic and doesn't see anything wrong with that. He's "better at everything and always right" simply because he's a man. Who cares what women have to say right? Not like he lives with them. Not like they're family. Oh wait. Right. The two people who care the most about him are women. We're also the two he brushes off the easiest. I can't keep doing this. I can't keep ranting to friends and the internet because it's getting me nowhere and it's the same thing I've been saying my whole life. I'm tired of him ignoring everything I say and everything I feel. I'm tired of him disrespecting my mom and belittling me. I'm tired of crying because of how he's breaking my mom's heart. I'm tired of writing the same thing year after year and having nothing change. I don't know how much longer any of us can take this. I just want it to all go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. But it never does. It persists. And kills me continuously.

[littlesilversparrow]

Another brief summary

Me: Ok, so this thing happened and both you guys are partially at fault but that's not the main issue here.

Me: *explains issue is communication problems*

Me: *proceeds to help both parents try to understand where the other is coming from*

Me: *helps them both talk through a couple things which are the root of the problem*

Me: Ok. So you've both agreed to try and understand each other and not interrupt or walk away. You're going to work on the communication thing so you stop fighting over little things unnecessarily.

My dad: Yeah but the thing was her fault first.

Me: *gdi*

[littlesilversparrow]

An understatement of tonight's events

Me: Hey dad, it'd really be nice if you weren't shit sometimes

Dad: *is immediately the worst shit*

[littlesilversparrow]

What is this gem I have found in Barnes and Noble? Guys, read it if you get the chance. It's like an internet person escaped into the real world and wrote a book. And the author is inclusive and feminist and it's lovely. I just browsed through it a bit and I loved it.