??? @livesofplantsandanimals - Tumblr Blog

i mean they could be right about everything!! its good sometimes to find a genuinely normie young xtian homophobe blog and scroll until their apparent peace and self assuredness gets to you and you think they could technically be right about everything. and then without fail youll see them envyposting abt the people that god actually talks to and realise their wait is gonna be even longer than yours and then it’s over. lol

#barely disguised greedposting in response to someone else’s barely disguised prideposting about their hotline to the big man #not very pietycore

i wanna occupy thoughts. wanna make internet friends with a nice christian and string them along until they are both deeply invested in my immortal soul and convinced they can save it. not in a mean way i think we’d both get a lot out of this

threw a little hissy and think i mightve broke my own finger. and im like. happy to have an excuse to blow the rest of the night off. so that's where we are!

#don't post here really but im doing as many things as i can rn so i don't flip #!

hanging out with steven again. problem is im stevens pity project

#the first time it felt like well ill be your gay friend!! now it's just #ill be your friend period you miserable fuck

final only really works as a blurry screenshot but ill take I guess

#keep getting rejected from the high qual projects bc my folio all up is pretty bad #but it takes some pressure off when u get down to it so

also i Did get into honours and i Did set up a new disability plan hours before the old one expired and i Will use the psych funding this time. all coming up philippa

🤔

#lighting looks better on the first but a second colours less boring maybe #wait i mean. i might've changed the lighting there actually #will check but Still 🤔

i fucked up so bad i didn't get my screen major. i can't get into honours without it what the fuck did i do what the fuck

these are such non problems but idk. i really didn't think he'd ever see anyone and was sad about him getting lonely but i meant friends :/ i meant give him friends. i dunno. he could move out now or want to sell the house and we could have to see her at christmas some time and i just. don't like it. and everything else is going pretty badly for me so it's just kind of a lot i guess. absolutely didn't think this would make me cry at any point but again i don't have feelings until i decide to and ive just now decided to. no take backs unfortunately. im really ugly and im really unhappy and im really really lonely

and i have to spend the entirety of one of those days working and it's WEIRD bc dad is absolutely dating this woman. and i always liked talking to her no worries but now she keeps Trying to talk to me and it's so weird! i was lying every other time ok it's weird! he didn't come home tonight im gonna see her at work tomorrow before i see him and it's weird! it's been eleven years and it's weird!

contacts a tutor about my thesis proposal who ccs in a colleague who recommends six authors to read, doesn't answer my questions, and ccs in another colleague who tells me to read her colleagues phd and ccs in two different colleagues who

#ITS DUE IN THREE DAYS

livesofplantsandanimals

really don’t care either way bc like, weird, but i also work there and i know and really like this woman. but the ambiguity!!

livesofplantsandanimals

he went today and asked if i was alright with it when he got home. rip ambiguity

#ive considered this of course in the literal Thirteen Years since but kinda dismissed it. not like he meets people #it's fine really but i don't like having to do it these internal adjustments at 24. this again is preteen dcom shit #wonder if that's why im currently having the literal worst breakout of my entire life..#body said you WILL look like the world's oldest ugliest fifteen year old

ok another mutual deleted so there's seriously almost no one here and i don't need to apologise bc im talking to myself but on the weird semi private record "miss suicidal" did not come out right. she's fine

#probably better than me if the 2020 amends tour is any indication #good(?)night

wait i forgot i DATED the girl i made tumblr and reblogged spn for. gay homophobia wins again

#and miss suicidal pinched nerve hole in the lung herself exacerbating my latent neuroses..so my last posts are relevant actually thank you

this blog is only ever like, diseaseposting but ever since i realised health n illness are stirred right the fuck into my mystery damage ive just found it all Chill and Interesting and Funny. brain tells me im a timebomb and i defuse its power by being an intentional hypochondriac until no one can take me seriously including myself

#strategic mastermind 😊

again, i never asked and only googled it and i asked dad eventually but he doesn’t remember what it’s called. and there are like three hundred different kinds of digit abnormality w different rates of inheritance. but still.

clearly i got distracted from the distraction from the distraction (finger loss from d*stiel from cat 5 period pains when i had intended to write an essay today) but man. that was just the latest fucked up gene i found out about at age 22 and immediately got scared i would pass on to my children before remembering i would rather die than be pregnant hfgjd

#it's not like. i don't think a partially deaf very depressed probably cancerous offspring missing some fingers at birth is like.#like if i was having kids that would be fine you know? but there is that twinge of worry in the parts of me that fear producing any kind of #suffering #before remembering that it's literally never happening hffhdshh

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