Ace for days.

I REALLY don't even know anymore. Asexual?

[pwesident]

reblog if you’ve never used the braincell

[snotdad]

the what

[pwesident]

yeah

[awed-frog]

Borneo: a biologist is working, looking for snakes in a pond. Orangutan thinks the man is stuck, reaches out a hand to help him climb to safety.

[coolyo294]

[luxgalador]

tell ur dogs i said hi ok?

[devpalmer]

my sister found this garfield candle at a flea market so we lit him up and watched his waxy corpus melt away into primordial ooze

[beatlesweatles]

[thebootydiaries]

me: *drops something*

me: *stares down at it in disappointment for a few seconds before picking it up*

[verylittlebird]

a magician asks you to pick a card - any card, in fact. you do. they ask you to put the card back in the pack - anywhere in the pack, in fact. you do. they walk away. ten years later, your wife gives birth to the six of clubs. “is this your card?” the midwife asks, in a familiar voice.

[ultralorde-deactivated20140413]

reblog if u r madly in love with me or if u like apple juice

[zackkaroni]

“Cartoons? Isn’t that for kids?” I look up and smile “ Yes it is” Suddenly my appearance shifts and shrinks as I become a child. All my money turns to monopoly money and all my bills are gone. My adult responsibilities vanish, finally the spell is broken, and I am free.

[iguanamouth]

when youre pregnant you can only eat tiny miniature versions of foods otherwise the baby wont be able to fit it in its little mouth im a scientist

[iguanamouth]

[vikingofficial-deactivated20241]

This year did NOT go according to keikaku

[sexti0n]

i want someone who will light a fire in me.

[trillseeker6421]

I want someone who will light me on fire

[unregistered-hypercam2-deactiva]

[minionresearch]

[sidnugget]

tumblr meet up at costco free samples are on me

[pukicho]

Public execution prom night

[threebigolsausages-deactivated2]

cute date idea

we go to an aquarium. you point out all the fish you like. i jump in the tank and attempt to fight them to win your affection

[doggirldick]

starting this year off on a penis friday