"Sometimes it takes darkness and the sweet confinement of your aloneness to learn anything or anyone that does not bring you alive is too small for you." -David Whyte

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@lmingraham
"Sometimes it takes darkness and the sweet confinement of your aloneness to learn anything or anyone that does not bring you alive is too small for you." -David Whyte
Close the shutters. Sit and listen to this space. Eyes on fire Burn the soul. I want to move as water, A kiss of reprieve In everyone's too busy. I will build my joy Making beauty in pieces, Small gifts of thought Wrapped in expression. I will listen to this space, Move like water, Fill what a moment can contain.
Wings
Soul-crafted, These dreams I wake. Tangible as sound Coursing lines unread. Unknown yet Here. Holding free now Concerns Dissolving in my shadow. These dreams I take Into the morrow. Laughter, light Knead and weave In sod of shadows Gardens for strangers, Adopted kin.
When I am
I was waiting for the off-airport parking shuttle alone and was first to board. The empty seats filled quickly. An elderly man was last to join. I wish that I asked his name. I don't know how he managed the steps up from the curb. His movements and steps were small and stiff. He slowly turned and fell back heavily with a groan into the last open seat beside me. "That was a nice trip, but that snow storm was terrible!" He said to me over his shoulder. He wore a heavy leather Broncos jacket and a less than subtle smell of uncleaniness. Others in the shuttle didn't respond to him. I'm not sure many knew how to relate. As we entered the parking lot, he recounted the snow storm the day that he departed, how it was snowing so hard, he needed assistance to get from his car and he was stuck in a seat at the airport all night. The driver confirmed the car as we approached. "I'll need help to get up," he forewarned. No one responded that I heard; I nodded. He was twice my weight and width. When the driver announced his car, I stood in my high heels, braced myself with one hand, and took his hand with the other. Thankfully, the driver and another male passenger were accommodating. Each took one of his arms and lifted him up. I'm sure I made little affect, but I held his hand. When he was on two feet, I sat down and looked away until he adjusted his shirt down over his loose pants. The driver took his bag and we watched as the man swung his feet down the stairs, using the rails like crutches. I hope that I will keep moving in my feeble years, dare to keep traveling. And I hope that strangers will talk to me and help me stand and move when I am not as personable and able-bodied. Until that day, I'll ask names and make each one feel remembered.
Between Ideals and Reality
Trying to negotiate a viable truce between what I think should be and what is -- at the junction of the direction I was going and the path leading to a steady peace. "We glue ourselves to expectations, and lose the sense of flexibility, presence, and connection that is actually much more relevant to spirituality and self-discovery. This is the tyranny of aspiration.... There is comfort in an ideal. But the more difficult and more alive part of...spiritual practice [is] realizing the power of openness — in directly experiencing uncertainty, distress, and ambiguity." http://www.onbeing.org/blog/sharon-salzberg-the-tyranny-of-aspiration/8473
The Space Between
I will be beauty in darkness for you. I will be because I know where you are.
I will be kindness and love where no one speaks I know what it is to be alone
I will be hopes and dreams. I know the place without life.
I will be the will to survive I know what it is to want again
I will carry the song when your voice is lost I know the weight of silence
This place is temporal. I will be in the space between.
I’m a big believer in spontaneous adventures…especially those right in your backyard. This was one of those nights. It was 11:30 and my friends who happen to be great climbers, decided it would be a good idea to head down valley. We pointed our headlights towards one of the bouldering rocks and climbed for about an hour. It was one of the better nights I had while they were in town and I am so lucky to have friends that do these things. Surround yourself with those that make you better, push you, challenge you, and inspire you. Telluride, CO—by @jaelynwolf.
“There are many things for which we cannot be grateful, but there is no moment for which we cannot be grateful, because in every moment, even difficult ones, we have the opportunity to do something.” — Brother David Steindl-Rast
Live simply, live well, make a difference—by Ben Herndon @donofhern.
Betty
Betty came to the office asking for candy. Uh… we don't have candy. "No, my candy," she replied with a laughing smile, pointing at the cabinet where the staff keeps the residents' meds. Tonight is her first night at the shelter. Apparently, she arrived with a large bag of chocolate candy and the med cabinet seemed as good a place as any to stow her sweets from bugs and rodents. Betty offered me a Snickers and a treat to other residents doing laundry nearby. She sat on the counter, swinging her feet, set the large Ziploc of chocolates beside her and savored the one in her mouth. Then, she talked of her recent stay at the Task Force, listening to drug deals on the streets outside, humoring the crazy talk of druggies inside. She talked about her 'career-people' children, being laid off, managing a local thrift store 'under the table' without benefits, looking fruitless for work, and finding herself in an age group outside of the job market.
"I'm at the age, you know, I don't need fuss. I stay quiet. I talk to people if they want to talk, but I don't get into controversy. I moved from Philadelphia. Every one has a rough exterior. Look at people wrong -- 'what YOU looking at?' I like it here. People are nice. I stayed at Task Force. It was rough. People are crazy. They go on and on, and I'm like, 'is this really necessary? Can I just ask how your f--ing day has been? Really, can we just have a conversation?' We slept on mats. It used to be chairs, now they have mats. Mats cover the floor, crammed together. Everyone sleeps together, babies crying, a lot of snoring, farts, waking up with people in your face…. I haven't slept well."
"My kids are all grown now. They're career-people. It's not like they don't have time for me…. You know, when you teach your kids to be independent… They let me stay with them for a time, then they said to me. 'It's not like you're sick… You can get around. You need to get a job, Mom.' I didn't like it at first. They gave me the same that I had given them, but now, it's good. They're career-people, and I'm glad to know they hold the same standards that I taught them.
"When I was laid off, I searched for a job, every day, I tried, to despair. Unemployment ran out. Then, I started meeting other people like me, older people who were laid off. I felt a peace to know it wasn't me. No one wants to hire people at 59. They don't want to pay into my social security. They want to invest in a young person so they can get their return. I only have a few years, but I need something. My husband had disability. After he passed, they said that I had to be disabled or a certain age before I could get disability. Everything is up the wazoo. But I'm here. I'll go to the work classes, get my resume in line, see the job world now."
Silo
You are a silo. A tower, standing tall & impervious to blame or shame. You deflect remorse. You cast light onto seas, A fire for all fires, With a welcome as vast as the space between painted lines, guardrails and heavy iron doors. I found storms in the lighthouse while at the guardrail, leaning in to feel out the crack along the wall. Stand tall & impervious. Keep your painted lines. I've better aim than to worry with what's past the space between.
“The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, nor to worry about the future, but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly.”
Gautama Buddha (via naturesfeelings)
The opposite of depression is not happiness, but vitality. - Andrew Solomon
Vitality- 1 a : the peculiarity distinguishing the living from the nonliving 1 b : capacity to live and develop; also : physical or mental vigor especially when highly developed 2 a : power of enduring 2 b : lively and animated character From <http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/vitality>
I saw vitality in the eyes of Indian children on the Bay of Bengal. They came running across the beach to us with all the joy and anticipation that children can derive in meeting a pale-skinned foreigner. They extended welcome with bright eyes and uninhibited smiles.
I feel vitality in nature, regenerative life growing in proliferous roses and colorful blooms. After a 12 hour rest back home, my spirit relished walking our yard, watering plants, pruning, listening to the birds, warming in the gentle sun and breeze -- the life that is my home, my sanctuary.
Vitality is deeper than happiness, more real than joy. It's wonder and faith and hope refusing surrender of wonder and faith and hope.
Growing with you
I've been thinking about the dead bushes that we dug out and replaced with roses and other flowering bushes. We were so careful in selection, thinking of how the plants would grow and how beautiful they'd become. Digging the holes, pulling the tangled, stubborn roots and hauling the dirt and debris was hard work. At the end of each day, we were glad for the work to be done and we were exhausted. Our exhaustion was happy and satisfied. We talked excited anticipation about how it would all grow together and all the blooms. Now, watering plants requires an hour or more of each day, but there is joy in its obligation. The simplicity of beauty growing warrants all the work, and we walk the grounds morning and night to delight in the wonder of life. While gathering the rose bouquets, I thought of the first rose bush we planted together. The ground was stubborn and un-giving, and it felt like the hole was never deep or wide enough. Then, in that first season, the deer were ruthless, in one night mowing it down a full 6 inches. The bush didn't fully recover to give many roses before winter, but it's now the most proliferous, supplying the bouquets for our first anniversary dinner. I think of unwanted roots in life, how we dig, tug, hack away with axe and shovel until the space is finally what we need. The work makes us ache and we are exhausted. There's seed for anticipation, hope for a new landscape, growing in daily purposeful replenishment. We'll find what works to prevent the destruction of migratory deer, and with mindful living, we'll watch for little leaves giving way to buds. We'll watch to see how it all grows together and find buds that open full of beauty and life, open and giving for all.
Paris 1944 and now, Julien Knez
Human design has emerged from the highest currents of a supreme intelligence. It is worthy of your trust. You have been conditioned to fear what you might do if you were to act spontaneously, but such fear is based upon a lie. You are not evil at your core, not forged in sin. The universe has created in you not a demon or a fool but a magnificent, luminous being. You share eternity’s creative power and all the wondrous beauty of time. You share a single unified field of awareness with angels and with the Star Maker. Should you fear the spontaneity that will reveal your beauty? Should you fear the expression of your love?
The Third Millennium (via hopeydopey526)