Life sucks.

"Is it the sea you hear in me, its dissatisfactions?"

[lo-lee---ta]

I’m so sick of people saying that because you’ve slept with someone before it doesn’t count if they rape you. Like just no. I slept with a guy a few times and then when I didn’t want to anymore, he decided he was going to anyway. And it was very different, I assure you. I was scared. I was crying. I couldn’t breathe. So don’t you dare tell me that it wasn’t rape just because I’d had sex with him before.

[lo-lee---ta]

Who was I kidding, you were never going to love me.

[lo-lee---ta]

Hey I’m sorry and I hate to put you through this and all but I think I’m literally falling in love with you

[lo-lee---ta]

I know I can seem heartless and cold and apathetic but I'm so not. I love so much. I pour everything I have in me into loving people and forgiving people for things they shouldn't be forgiven for and I try to find the good in everyone and everything. I'm a pessimist who is trying so hard to be an optimist. And maybe that's my flaw, maybe I love too much. Maybe that's why I spend so many nights crying myself to sleep. But I don't tell anyone, because I don't want them to feel they have to make me feel better. I want to appear like I have everything sorted out. But I don't. I love people who don't deserve it and I pour and I pour and I pour myself into loving them until there's not enough left for me to love myself

[lo-lee---ta]

I know I can't be the cause of your happiness. And I know that as a couple we really don't work well. But I love you. And that means that even though I know we can't be together, and even though the thought of you looking at someone else the way you used to look at me absolutely tears my heart out, I would literally die if it meant you could have that. If it meant that you could meet someone and everything would be perfect and you could be a dad like you always wanted and could come home from work every day and kiss your kids and your wife goodnight and be happy. I'd sacrifice my own happiness for that any day.

[lo-lee---ta]

I thought of you today and I didn’t get mad, I didn’t cry. No, I thought of you looking at me and I got butterflies. Butterflies. For the first time in months you had that effect on me. It was like the beginning again. Except this time, you don’t want me back.

[lo-lee---ta]

But hey, who could love the sad girl, right?

[lo-lee---ta]

I can’t believe my best friend is literally mad at me for being removed from a class because I have panic attacks every lesson because my rapist is in that class. What the fuck. How can she say that I shouldn't be allowed out of the class unless everyone else is. Does she even have a clue what happens in my head when I have to sit near him. 

[lo-lee---ta]

What's even the point in eating when everything just tastes like air when you're not here. I could starve and I'd deserve it for fucking things up between us.

[lo-lee---ta]

It’s like once the excitement ended I thought I’d fallen out of love but now the thought of you leaving scares me and I feel comfy when I’m with you like you’re a blanket in the winter or something and you’re like my best friend and all I want is to come home from work and rant to you about my day and you know what I think that’s what love is after all

[xefao]

[mewhenidream]

[lilboreddev-blog]

REBLOG IF YOU'RE ONLINE AND FOLLOW BACK .

[lo-lee---ta]

Yes I might be a terrible person but I’m gonna do what makes me happy and nobody will stop me.

[skumbags]

[lo-lee---ta]

They were careless people, Tom and Daisy - they smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their vast carelessness or whatever it was that kept them together, and let other people clean up the mess they had made.

F. Scott Fitzgerald The Great Gatsby

[lo-lee---ta]

Fuckfuckfuckfuck this was not supposed to happen you had a girlfriend and we had sex and now you’re single and I’m a terrible person :/