please please please let shadowclan implode again @loachwhisker - Tumblr Blog

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there's just something about bluestar that makes me so sad that i feel kind of nauseous when i'm thinking about her too hard

#delete later #it's so stupid she's a fictional cat and yet

it would be cool to remember literally any of my own oc lore

#excluding loachwhisker and shimmerpaw that is #who the FUCK is shrewbite #i am VAGUELY aware of lightningfoot hes. evil. i think. and a medicine cat ?#my beautiful brown tabby.......... well there are other cats

loachwhisker

i've started crying about warrior cats. is this what being in your mid 20s is like

loachwhisker

it's so stupid though i'm not a big crier it's literally ONLY *big* stress, And Warrior Cats. wtf.

#talking #thought too hard about yellowfang 😔

i love poasting wips yayyyyyy ayayyyyy

#delete later #i planned on working on it a loooot today and then i played wobbledogs (in the background ... automation mode...) (TWO HEADED DOG. BTW)#and also watched project hail mary..... and cleaned bathroom.........#ANYTHING to avoid doing the for fun project that i'm doing for fun n

aaaaaahhhhhhhHHHHH i hate ai why can't i look up cat reference pictures without one william ai generated fucko photos i HAVE them all BLOCKED

i mean the hollyleaf amv literally writes itself

#will i be doing so?#eh #still working on edit the sad parts maybe one day #it is more likely to happen if i can get over my innate hatred of digital art (guy who draws mainly digitally)#delete later

hollyleaf entering the bad day vortex voice: boy sure hope i don't have a bad day :3

#my post #warrior cats #hollyleaf...#ok heart attack man blood blister is also a hollyleaf song to me #this was the only sketch for edit the sad parts i got done today because i only work on it at night and 🤗 migraine symptom #delete later #ok but blood blister reallyIS a hollyleaf song to me. it's so canon in my heart

loachwhisker may be my icon but he's fairly boring i just like his name and think he's pretty his niece shimmerpaw is way cooler. what if you were a doctor and you were like ok at it but you were also supposed to be the person who told them what god meant by that and you were just so dogshit at it to the point where several people died because you got it wrong and also everyone's house got destroyed :3

the agonies are ever present and largely self inflicted

#my post #delete later #this feels like animal cruelty and i'm animal #WAHHH WAHHHHH HITTING ME WITH HAMMERS <- guy holding the hammers voice

well at least there are cats

#my post #warrior cats #my art #wip #it's jayfeather during the fire scene part of the thing because i haven't gotten to the hollyleaf part of . of the part #and i also just like the scared crouching pose #delete later

wahhhhh story boarding is story BORINGGGGG idea should fall out of my mind fully formed on the page

#my post #talking #i got an oc storyboard out within like a day wahhhhh why not hollyleaf #granted . i stayed up until 3 AM doing that against my will

i do like how long shadows tries to set up the expectation that squirrelflight could have been the one to kill ashfur. like. walking into camp late, soaking wet covered in mud, while ashfur is also conspicuously missing and about to be found dead in a stream? i have to say that would have convinced me squirrelflighr did it as a kid if i didn't read them with the knowledge it was hollyleaf

#my post #warrior cats #talking #long shadows #reread the fire scene for my fun kitty project #i REALLY like hollys thoughts on ashfur while they're waiting to leave for the gathering #'she didn't want to think about ashfur much less stand around waiting for him if he didn't turn up at the gathering #so much the better for every cat' hollyleaf i love you so much please keep lying to yourself about killing him

actually hey. modest mouse edit the sad parts hollyleaf amv when

#my post #warrior cats #talking #hollyleaf #rotating it in my mind....#i will at most do a storyboard but i have unlocked the ability to DO a storyboard so basically fuck yea #i have been listening to . a lot of this is a long drive for someone with nothing to think about #guys what if we sat in a circle so we all had a back to bite

i've started crying about warrior cats. is this what being in your mid 20s is like

#delete later #any video about bluestar on youtube comes on and 7/10 chance i'll start tearing up #wtf are they putting in those

when i can be bothered to do so i have evil plans to make a warriors cat oc storyboard using modest mouse The Whale Song, and it will fuck severely

#it will be about shimmerpaw :3 and the horrors of dealing with all that bullshit #what if you misinterpreted a sign from starclan and as a result your clans camp got decimated by a flash flood while most everyone was there #rotating it in my mind. the instrumental half of the song is her journeying back to tiverclan territory from. gestures wildly. wherever #and the lyrical half i am not articulate enough to describe #it will be the day of the flood and the surveying of the aftermath #all like juxtaposed and shit

when the fuck did i rename this place loachwhisker anyways wasn't i shrewbite before

#why is everything yellow #i do LIKE yellow but when #when did i DO that

loachwhisker

idk i feel like when she killed ashfur she wasn't even really meaning to do it like, i feel like hollyleaf was maybe just like going on a nighttime stress walk to that stream and it wasn't premeditated she just fucking Got Him and didn't even realize what she did until his body was still. maybe it specifies how planned it was in the books and i just don't remember but <3 i also don't care

loachwhisker

@carnybytes was going to just reply in the comments but i got too wordy and started pulling out other books on top of it so i'm doing it as a reblog instead. which may be utterly incomprehensible, to warn you.

yessssssssss yes. i don't HATE the idea of it being something she had planned but i think it's more interesting if it's less of a plan on her end and more of just. being a thought experiment until it stops being one. i need there to be some impulsivity in here. she can think about it but with the caveat that i don't think that she was Thinking About It. urgh.

which is to say that. i think the way hollyleaf is thinking about it is by trying her best to not think about it at all, at least consciously, but inwardly there may have been a lot of 'but if i WANTED to kill another cat, or NEEDED to, this is how i would do it'

if she was considering it in advance i just don't think she could have admitted it to herself that that was what she was doing, while she was doing. i think having it as something she's planned only works if she has ways to make herself believe that what she was doing wasn't planning.

in steinbecks The Winter of Our Discontent, the lines "Is there anyone who has not wondered about the decisions and acts and campaigns of the mighty of the earth? are they born in reasoning and dictated by virtue or can some of them be the products of accidents, of daydreaming, of imagining, of the stories we tell ourselves?.." "...Little by little the game grew, but entirely in the mind until this morning." appear and i just. idk. i feel like TWoOD is a very hollyleaf book.

i have many thoughts on this aspect of her character many of which are contradictory and it makes me feel like i'm squeezing a rock in my fist--- it feels like there's some give to it, but it's just the sensation of my skin molding around the rock.

#hollyleaf #reblog #talking #sorry yeah this is definitely unreadable #i just mean #i'm sure that she didn't have literally zero thoughts about killing ashfur before she did it #but even if there was An Amount of planning involved in his death. i dont feel like it was DELIBERATE planning like i don't think #she sat down one night and went ok i'm going to kill ashfur what's the best way to do it what is his exact schedule when could i best #corner him and then kill him and then put him in the stream to dispose of the corpse #i think it's better approached as like... the way when. urghhhh. i know what i want to write but it is with regards to an impolite topic #so even though it is to me an excellent analogy i am NOT . writing that. because it's too personal #fuck! listen to Lion's Teeth the mountain goats and that is close enough to my feelings.#there's no particular orchestrations going on in hollyleafs mind to me it's more that the stars align and she does it on impulse #tbqhl lions teeth isn't even really what i have in mind #it's the spontaneity of the action that you thought about but never intended to do anything about

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please please please let shadowclan implode again