April 1, 2022: Morbius is released to critical failure- though the humorous name sparks a number of Morbius-themed memes and keeps it as a topic in pop culture, the movie itself is mostly irrelevant
April 23, 2022: BP Oil employees discover brittle, shale-like growths while performing routine maintenance on the production facility “Mad Dog”
May 12, 2022: BP Oil’s R&D department finds this new material fascinating, as it seems to grow exclusively in places that have already been harvested of all their natural resources- baffling them. They decide to keep this discovery quiet for the time being.
May 26, 2022: MorbPosting continues despite very few people actually seeing Morbius
June 7, 2022: BP Oil names this new substance “Morbium” after numerous market research leads imply that it could help obfuscate the true nature of the material- and the kids will love it!
July 21, 2023: MorbPosting has been thoroughly dead for nearly a year- BP Oil revives this when unveiling Morbium for the first time, to the horror of many, this is a renewable resource- that produces extremely hazardous byproducts when burned
July 29, 2023: Petitioners urge Sony and Disney to stop the production of Morbium under copyright law- those with law experience explain this won’t happen, and those with petition experience explain this won’t happen.
August 16, 2023: Morbium production facilities open across the world- no longer in the public eye thanks to a rapid news cycle, BP oil begins scouring their own old facilities and other companies for more Morbium.
September 29, 2023: The ozone layer rapidly shrinks due to the production of refined Morbium- a fuel that has no engines to power, as investors sink untold billions into the production of “the fuel of the future” despite it being incompatible with all current infrastructure.
December 14, 2023: “The falling Winter” occurs as numerous buildings within cities across the globe mysterious collapse under their own weight- investigations later reveal every single one was a shell for an oil mining rig hidden in plain sight. BP Oil refuses investigation, and President Biden resigns amid the controversy.
January 1, 2024: Morbium deposits across the world aerosolize amid a growing civil unrest, entering the upper atmosphere in a matter of hours
January 3, 2024: The Fog descends, making all human conflict appear petty by the standards of what deemed to gaze upon us that day
April 9, 2025: Morbius II: Morbius Takes Manhattan! is released in theaters.
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