how well could YOUR party pull off a fake dating scheme?
i had a dream that the hot new dnd meme was to take your party members, pair them up, and rank them on how convincingly they could be fake dating/fake married. Grading was based on how well they could act, pretend to be affectionate, etc.
Here's that for the Wayfarers!
(Note: Freegift+Silvertongue and Aelinor+Linmir have been omitted on account of Siblings)
Argos/Silvertongue (Nilgos): Beautifully dramatic and elegant. Silvertongue and Argos both cut a very striking silhouette, tall and sturdy. They would make constant reference to their “daughter” (Percy) to continue to sell the story. Silvertongue is fully away of Argos's past relationship baggage, which allows them to navigate the fake relationship with grace. I think they could even kiss convincingly! 10/10 honestly.
Argos/Freegift (Fargos): As the two party members most likely to Commit To The Bit, FG and Argos would play a constant game of “yes, and” while pretending to date. Argos would pull increasingly bizarre romantic stunts (all with a completely straight face), while Freegift wouldn't be able to tell if he was being serious or not, but he can't take that chance. Ironically, this actually makes them extremely convincing. 9/10.
Antigone/Argos (Antargos): Tig would be afraid of stepping on Argos's toes, literally and metaphorically, and it would impact her performance as a result. 5/10 could go either way but I think closer to a 4 than a 6.
Antigone/Aelinor (Aeligone): Actually not too bad, I think. Aelinor is good at being affectionate without necessarily kissing, and Tig can help reign in Ae if she gets riled up about the grift. 6/10
Antigone/Linmir (Lintigone): Kind of stiff but in a sort of elegant way? See the problem with Antigone is that she just can't kiss anyone convincingly, even if they would look like a solid couple otherwise. They'd struggle too much with affection to be convincing. 4/10
Antigone/Nilvertongue (SilverTig): Nil likes to tease Tig affectionately but they're also one of the people that Tig first really took a liking to in the party, so she could pull out some genuine affection towards Nil. But she would be very tsuntsun about it. 7/10
Antigone/Freegift (TigGift): Absolute gremlin energy. They're the couple who brings up your last divorce in such a way that you can't tell if they're being rude on purpose or not (spoiler: they are). They would drape their arms over each other and pull each other close, but they falter because they simply cannot kiss convincingly. In fact, they can't bring themselves to kiss at all – they have too much bro energy. 3/10.
Argos/Aelinor (Arlinor): I can't decide if Aelinor threatening that she won't ever let Argos die would make them MORE or less convincing as a couple. Either way, they're both kind of intimidating, especially when they're next to each other. 7/10 they could probably pull it off.
Argos/Linmir (Lingos): EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE: The Couple. They really, really tried but they just have too many hang-ups. 1/10. At least they're both tall.
Aelinor/Nilvertongue (AeliNil): Oujo-sama laughs at you from across the ballroom. 8/10
Aelinor/Freegift (Freelinor): Bonus points for being Actually In Love; unfortunately, they would each become too flustered by their displays of affection to keep up the charade convincingly. Both of them would alternate between trying too hard and getting shy. 4/10
Linmir/Silvertongue (SilverLin): Extremely, intimidatingly beautiful, and could coast on that energy for a lot of their charade. They could delicately hold each other's hands and kiss the back of their palms and such, and truly, who would try to question them? 10/10
Linmir/Freegift (LinGift): Nope, they just can't do it. Linmir would spent too much time wondering “is this how FG treats my little sister?” and interrogating Freegift, who would immediately go on the defensive. Lots of arguing, but not in a very couple-y way. 0/10 bad job all around.
