Human Trash @lola-isbackwards - Tumblr Blog

I literally haven’t logged on to tumblr in a year if not more but I need somewhere to bitch about my life today

I haven’t had anything to do with guys and dating in the whole time I’ve been at uni, I haven’t sought it out and it hasn’t come to me on it’s own. That was fine by my for the most part because I was busy. Now I’m finishing uni and life as a non-student adult is going to start and I’m honestly scared. I don’t really know anyone where I live and am going to be working even though I’ve lived here for 4 and a half years. I’m lonely a lot. I don’t have a lot of friends and that’s how normal people meet people right >.<

I’ve been talking to a couple of guys on bumble but I just feel no connection whatsoever and I just don’t know how to talk to people. I feel so hopeless and like I’m going to be alone forever. I feel like I’m not what any guy would want in so many ways. I’m not particularly good looking or interesting or fun and I am ace and not entirely sure of how much of a ‘romantic’ relationship I want beyond someone who is like a best friend. I wish I was just normal and wanted what everyone else wants, I feel like a constant outsider in a world where sex/love/romance are considered a universal experience. But I’m lonely and I honestly believe I deserve to find some kind of ‘love’ whether it is romantic or otherwise, I just don’t know how to find it, other people seem to just fall into things and it has just never happened to me, it’s hard to feel that it isn’t something wrong with me

Sorry for this stream of consciousness I’m just sad

I'm feeling really crap about uni again, I'm meant to be writing a research project but I'm behind on everything to do with it and I tried to change subjects because I don't want to do the one I initially chose but now I can't and I can't think of anything to research that is actually within my capabilities and I've got to get fucking ethics approval which I haven't done and was meant to do 6 weeks before my research block and I hate that this stupid project is making me want to die

I went off my antidepressants and now I am constantly seething with rage it's great

katana-wielding-bookworm

I want Terry Crews and Vin Diesel to do a buddy cop movie where they are both secret nerds but they don’t want the other to know. Like Vin Diesel plays D & D on weekends and Terry likes to create epic crossover fan art. Somehow they have to work undercover at Comic Con and for what ever reason I need Daniel Radcliffe to be the villain.