a normal man

an innocent man.. || Rwick || 20s || they/he/she || header ID: a cat with its front paws against a glass door, looking a bit pathetic || icon ID: a racoon standing on its hind legs, labelled 'featherless biped, THIS IS A MAN'

[eroscestlavie]

whenever I go to the restroom and can’t piss immediately I get so mad because all I can think about is that weird sexist John Updike passage where he’s like “the pee got lost inside her mysterious Woman Body”

[status-quo-hater]

I think one of the funniest abortion stances I've heard was from my parents neighbor. He's a like, hard-core libertarian viking larper guy who is very tall and very fat and very bald.

He believes a fetus is human with a soul, but also its "basically attacking the woman's body" so if she wants to get rid of it, that's "basically self-defense". He compared it to shooting a home invader. So he supports abortion not as healthcare, but as killing a baby in self-defense

[redstonedust]

its probably a normal sign for the economy that all of my adulthood fantasies are like "imagine having your own kitchen living room and bathroom to decorate" "what if i could get on a train" "maybe one day i could purchase a sturdy pair of shoes" "i should save and invest in a single bicycle"

[transgendad]

my therapist called me crazy today... girl I don't have that diagnosis you can't say that...

[honorblue]

so many people have inspired me to be nothing like them

[bisexualcreature-deactivated202]

lvl 1: the plural of octopus is octopuses because the plural version of a word is the word with an s at the end

lvl 2: the plural version of octopus is octopi because if a word ends with "us" the plural version replaces the "us" with "i" e.g. cactus -> cacti and fungus -> fungi

lvl 3: actually, that rule is only for latin words. octopus is a greek word and the correct plural is octopuses or octopodes

lvl 4: actually, language is descriptive not prescriptive. since enough people over time have used octopi as the plural for octopus, it's a valid plural

lvl 5: the plural of octopus is octopeese, like geese

[asteroidtroglodyte]

Lvl 6: My Marine Biology professor told me it was technically “Octopods” to bring it in line with “Cephalopod,” but that if the class is falling asleep you can call them “Octopussies”

[transgendad]

excuse me there was a scientist on the radio this morning and he said, of hedgehogs, "they are chunky but you can't quite see them from space"

[icantspellthings]

[graygiantess]

"I hope your favorite character is played by an actor you hate!" Tired, unoriginal, etc.

"I hope your favorite character fucks your dad!" Devastating, weirdly specific, about to happen to Harry Bogosian in three weeks.

[newsandstuffisee]

[sillystigmata]

Y’all think this is a joke.

[prolificqueerfeminist]

[image descriptions: #1: tweet by armand's breast implant su... (it cuts off)

"man imagine seeing your favourit character fuck your dad"

it is quote tweeting another tweet by Rai @ Armand_yearner

"I just remembered how Eric's son is an Armand fanboy, and he'll get to soon watch his father kiss The Vampire Armand onscreen." there is a screenshot attached from a news article that reads "Eric Bogosian: Armand has extaordinary powers that we haven't even begun to learn about yet. I know that because my son is a fanboy. He explained this to me about Armand yesterday."

#2: screenshot of tumblr tags "#1) nixe posting dm my life is complete #2) what really clinches it is said son is a dead ringer for Luke Brandon Field."

#3: a picture of Luke Brandon Field as Daniel Molloy, he is next to a photo of Harry Bogosian. They look exactly the same.

[theelfrooms]

arguing with an elf and she pulls out the "well i had sex with your great great grandmother"

[phaeton-flier]

With a bit of work you can do the same thing, see how she likes it

[fnordseer5]

one career option that is sadly no longer open to young women is impostor claiming to be the grand duchess anastasia romanov

[awesomebutunpractical]

"He wouldn't say that" has a beautiful cousin, and her name is "That's Not What This Story is About".

[artbyblastweave]

Now obviously the hard part of launching a land invasion of Heaven will figuring out where they hid the hole. Finding the miniscule aperture, the hole in physical reality to which all souls are translocated at the moment of death, and then jamming something sturdy in there, getting it in reallll good and working it around until it's big enough to fit some guys with guns through. But the nice part is that the nature of Heaven means that, one, not many people get in in the first place, and two, none of them are good at fighting, because people who're good at fighting mostly don't go to heaven. Except us, when we find the hole. The point is that once we're in there's not much they're gonna be able to do. Pretty much we'll have free run of the place

[artbyblastweave]

Update! So we forgot about God

[bookshelfdreams]

Hail Ibuprofen, full of grace, patron of the working woman, blessed art thou amongst otc meds and blessed is thy discoverer, Steward Adams. Pray for us now and in the hour of our migraine. Amen.

[bookshelfdreams]

#this belongs on a needlepoint (via @etoiledunord)

[thecraftgremlin]

Where’s that one post that’s like Reasons Why My Wife Cried This Week and when are we gonna get a fanfic of that but Ryland Grace.

[stargirl-and-potts]

Reasons my human has cried:

* New student, very small. Grace said it was pebble. Pebble is small Earth rock. Pebble likes name.

* He found out Eridians have no gender rules.

* Students brought him mineral sample. After he stopped crying he said he loves show-and-tell game. Human naming conventions oddly literal.

* I told him Earthsun grew bright.

* I took him up atop atmosphere bypass elevator to look at stars.

* He woke up from nap and found me still with him. I did not wait on his chest; he says I am heavy like “elephant” and he “couldn’t breathe.” I laid my arm over him instead, kept him close, feeling safe. He said “cuddle” was warm.

* Before class he heard younglings singing.

* He has plants in house from sprouts on ship. Plant grew “bud.”

* Engineers got seawater temperature right. He took off shoes and stood in water, sighing. He didn’t care about pants getting damp. Cried until shirt was also damp. Humans very endlessly wet.

* He missed “Doritos.”

* Adrian helped food scientists make taumoeba dried paste. Made it crunchy after heating. We fused it into triangle form. Told him it was Tauritos. That made him laugh-cry. Laugh-cry is rare and precious.

* He remembered Eridians have no gender rules.

* We made him celebration outfit. Used metals he calls pretty. He can see frequencies named “colorful” and “shiny.” These make humans happiest.

* I gave him hug when he wasn’t expecting it. Easier to hug close now with exosuit. Hug when Grace sitting down so he does not fall over.

* Told him to think long time, stay with me as long as he can.

[transgendad]

I think dying in the night might be good for me

[toddsolondz]

when you’re having a laugh with your dad but then you suddenly remember that he’s going to hell

[theprincehamlet]

topical

[toddsolondz]

oh my god hamlet

[morphic-mythos]

The Greek for “divine possession” is enthusiasmos—enthusiasm. To be enthused or enthusiastic is to be “engodded,” to be divinely inspired.

—Stephen Fry, Mythos