perhaps this was a mistake

Shitposts about life, and other random stuff that happens

[lolwhutdidijustdo]

Incorrect Snucius Quotes

During The Order of The Phoenix, wherin Lucius is worried about Severus' safety when spying on the Order.

Lucius: I admire your disposition in regards to this, Sev, but I cannot help but ponder all the ways it can go wrong.

Severus: Don’t fret, I know precisely what I am doing. Everything is under control, and I will be fine.

Lucius: How can you still say that? With your position as our Spy within the order...

Severus: Because sometimes, when things get tough, denial is all we have.

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Lucius: Severus, why has Draco gotten detention from Dolores Umbridge?

Severus: She pointed at him with her wand, and said “there is an idiot at the end of this.”

Lucius: The impunity! And…?

Severus: He told her that she should speak more highly of herself.

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Lucius: What goes up but never comes down?

Narcissa: The amount of stress you're bringing this family.

Severus: Your level of insufferability and pompous attitude?

Draco: Your ego?

Lucius: Merlin, what is wrong with you? I was going to say my love for you all...

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Lucius: I am quite confident in my assessment that you are probably some sort of sick deadly fuck.

Severus: Who told you my secret?

Narcissa: That's - how is that a secret, Severus? The both of you are literally Death Eaters.

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Lucius: I have the upmost confidence in your abilities, Severus!

Severus, to himself: Merlin, I must suck. The nicest thing Lucius can think to say to me is that he doesn't doubt the usefulness of my existence.

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Lucius, explaining his plans to Voldemort: That’s why we need to get an expert on poisons, to ensure the swift... displacement of our political enemies.

Severus, sarcastically: Oh, and I can't imagine whom you would ask to carry out such a task.

Death Eaters: *Stareing at Narcissa*

Narcissa, with a resigned sigh: Oh, alright. I suppose I'll be doing it then.

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Severus, to Draco: You cannot use magic to transport any potions ingredients because it will interfere with the potency of the brew! Any idiot would know that!

Lucius: I knew that!

Severus, gesturing to Lucius: See?

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After the Battle in the Department of Mysteries

Lucius: My head hurts. Severus: That’s your brain trying to comprehend its own stupidity.

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Severus, talking to Lucius about the Death Eaters: They're trying to lure me into a false sense of security! Well, joke’s on them! I’ve never been secure in my life, and I’m not about to start now!

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Lucius: I am wounded, Severus, that you have lied to me. Severus: I'm a spy! It's what I do! That being said, I would never lie to you.

Lucius, enamoured: Truely?!

Severus: Well, it somewhat depends on how you define lying.

Lucius: I happen to define it as intentionally obscuring the truth. How would you define it?

Severus: Reclining your body in a horizontal position.

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Lucius: Don’t go picking a fight with me. I could make your life difficult.

Severus, sarcastically: Wow. I wonder what it’d be like to have a difficult life.

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Lucius: What the hell is wrong with you?

Severus: I have this weird self-esteem issue where I hate myself but still think I’m better than everyone else.

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Lucius: Sev, when’s your birthday?

Severus: Why? So you can look up my natal chart? So you can figure out my weaknesses? So you can destroy me?

Lucius: …So I know when to get your present and wish you a happy birthday.

Severus, tearing up: Oh...

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Severus: Go fuck yourself.

Lucius: Come over here and fuck me yourself you coward!

Severus, striding forward with purpose

Lucius: wait no-

Bellatrix, seeing this go down: Can we please just have one normal meeting!?

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[lolwhutdidijustdo]

I can’t even make this up my mum walked into my room and told me 

“girls who carry Chanel purses don't get tattoos.” 

...why tho 

[lolwhutdidijustdo]

Ya’ll

I just spent two hours of my life drawing Captain America was a baby just to make THIS MEME: 

It was based off of a photo f me when I was younger. Please make it go viral. Feel free to repost anywhere. 

[lolwhutdidijustdo]

So one of the toilets in my apartment complex broke, and I was writing a sign to tell people it didn’t work. While I was writing, one of my roommates asked me if I could help with the laundry. So, as one does, I said “Gimme a minute, please.” 

Turns out I actually said “Ein Minute, por favor. Grazi!” 

My roommate laughed at me, looked at the sign, and laughed even harder.

... I had written the sign in Russian. 

[lolwhutdidijustdo]

I think this may have been done before, but

here's a meme I made for my Literary Studies class. 

[ssscreenwright-deactivated20201]

So I have a really serious Stucky question.

Was pre serum Steve the top or the bottom?

[lolwhutdidijustdo]

top bc Bucky would be too worried about crushing him to death

[lolwhutdidijustdo]

If anyone would like to know how bad US postal service is, my mom’s 47th birthday cards came today from her friends. 

Her birthday is in November. 

She’s 50.

The post date is stamped 2017. 

2017 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The birthday cards were in the mail for more than 3 FUCKING YEARS !

3

fucking

years 

                                what         the            FUCK 

[lolwhutdidijustdo]

hey does anyone ever have those depressive episodes where you get past the point of crying and just, have this want to not exist? 

[lolwhutdidijustdo]

should I be doing my semester exam review project? 

Yes

am I doing it? 

No

[lolwhutdidijustdo]

shoutout to that one freshman girl in my high school that LEGIT thought that if she used SHARPIE HIGHLIGHTER to highlight her hair it would give her natural highlights - she colored it during class, during a math lecture. 

and another shoutout to her bc she tried to die it out with hydrogen peroxide, which turned her hair orange. she ended up just cutting her hair real short 

one final shoutout bc she also asked me if it was okay to lick the toilet bowl seat.

so Amy, if you're out there, I hope to god that you got smarter, bc I’ve seen some pretty dumb people, but you really do take the cake....

or toilet seat.... 

[lolwhutdidijustdo]

Actual Thing that Happened in Geometry Lecture:

We played JUST DANCE but the arrows were different angles on a transversal cutting a parallel line 

I mean its not like I pay for this class but I paid for it 

[lolwhutdidijustdo]

roses are red, violets are blue

midterms are coming 

dear school systems, 

fuck you

[lolwhutdidijustdo]

The United States Through The Eyes Of an American Raised in Europe.

Imagine this; you have a perfect life. You live somewhere in a nice house, you go to an international school filled with all sorts of people from different backgrounds, and you get to travel all over Europe and into some parts of Africa. Now, you used to live somewhere else, but you were too young to remember that somewhere else, so you think of this awesome place you live in as your home. And then one day, your parents tell you that you’re going to move back to the country where you were born. The country you don’t remember. You’re excited, because to you this is a whole new, wonderful world! 

Until you get there.

You live in some crummy apartments, but it’s “only temporary.” One of your parents picked out what school you were going to go to. They describe it as a normal school for this country. Normal in this new country means white. There is not a single kid at that school that is not white.  None of those people have ever been outside of the state, let alone the country. To them, your experiences are totally alien, and inconcievable. You’re like an alien to them, this interesting person who looks and walks and talks and just acts different than them. You’ve got the same appeal to them as an animal in the zoo would. Here is a 9 year old girl, that's different than you. 

You’re not used to international people having worse jobs than the people that were born in this country. You’re not used to having a teacher and that’s white, and a janitor that's black, and a lunch lady that’s South American (or, as the kids and teachers at your school call it “Latina”). You’re not used to such blatant racism. You don't understand that the white people in this country view everyone that is different than them as worth less than them. You have good manners toward everyone, and show respect toward everyone. And in this country, being like you are is seen as wrong. And you're confused because you don't think its wrong. To you, everyone, no matter what they look like or how different they are from you, is a person worthy of respect and a person that deserves every right you have. You point out, one day, that these white people in this country are acting like the Nazis, which you know about because you went to Germany, and you've been to museums, and you’ve existed in the places that the Nazis affected. Most of the white people didn’t know what Nazis are, the teacher didn't know what they were. An adult, who has no excuse to not know the horrible history of Nazis and why they were bad. An adult, in a teaching position, that you know more than.  A 9 year old little girl knows more than an adult, in a teaching position at a prestigious school. 

 You can’t walk places anymore, you have to drive there because they are too far away. And it is very, very hot. Hotter than Tuningi in Africa, and more humid than the British beachside in summer. It’s uncomfortable outside. You’re used to 17 celcius  weather, where it’s cold enough to wear a sweatshirt or jacket and trousers.  Not 37 celsius outside, where you sweat like a pig. Another change is the food. You’re used to delicious, international food, that you can get to easily when you’re on the go. That was fast food to you. Fast food was NOT McDonalds, Wendy’s, Popeyes, Jack in The Box, or any other fast food stores in this new country. The grocery stores are too big. You can’t find anything, and all of the produce is bad. Well, not bad, but they don’t taste the same as the fresh produce you are used to eating. People look different too. They don’t look like those healthy people you were so used to being around. They looked wrong, and like they were sick with some disease or something. But it’s not just the adults, their kids too. People your age look like this.

This country, it’s too hot, too sweaty, too uncomfortable, the people look weird, the people act like Nazis (not everyone though, just the people you've encountered at school and a couple outside of school),  the food is bad, everything seems wrong to you.

And you’re here to stay.

And you're disgusted by it. You're doing everything you can now, to get out of this country that you were born in. This fucking disgusting country, that you're supposed to be proud of. 

That’s what it’s like being an American, Raised in Europe. 

[lolwhutdidijustdo]

Do straight guys not understand “no” as “never”???

So this guy comes up to me and tells me I’m cute, and I’m typically approached in this manner, but I’m like, here, give me your number, and he does. And obviously, I'm not gonna text or call, bc I’m me and I feel no attraction whatsoever to this person. (I’ve never been attracted to people, but this guy was UGLY ugly.)  

And I tell this to my friend (who’s very straight) and she’s like “not every guy who says that you’re cute and wants your number wants to get in your pants.” Well, in personal experience this is exactly what they want to do. And I’m really not sure what I want to do because the last 3 times this has happened, I texted them for a while and then they all went, “Hey, I really like you and I’d like to be your boyfriend.” and I’m like, no! I already gave you a clear answer of NO when we met. In my personal experience, straight boys will go after a girl repeatedly until she says yes, and I just am not like that - I respect myself much more than them, and I really don’t understand why saying no the first time isn’t enough? 

[buckmesideways22]

Random Shield agent: that’s gay.

Sam: you shouldn’t use gay to describe something negative. It’s offensive.

Bucky: Yeah, that super shitty. Try that’s guy in a bird costume.

Sam: Go fuck yourself, robocop.

[lolwhutdidijustdo]

Fix: Random Shield Agent: that’s gayyy. Sam: you shouldn’t use gay to describe something negative. It’s offensive. Bucky: yeah that’s super shitty. And so is the bird costume. Sam: *to Bucky* Go fuck your self, robocop. Bucky: I don’t need to. I have Steve Rogers to do it for me. Sam: ... Random Sheild Agent: ...

[lolwhutdidijustdo]

Fixed

*bucky is sitting alone in the soul realm, just staring into the distance. Mantis comes over*

Mantis: *sensing sadness* Everything’s going to be okay

Mantis: *gets up to leave, but accidentally brushes her hands on bucky’s*

Mantis:  *Gets old memories of Steve and Bucky, actually being happy*

Mantis:

Mantis: * Cries, feeling really f***ing bad depression*

Bucky: oh crap-

Mantis: wHAT THE ACTUAL F U C -

[incorrectmcustuff]

Bucky: words that end in “ie” are so cute!!!! cookie, sweetie, cutie,

Sam: Die

Bucky:

[lolwhutdidijustdo]

Bucky: ... stevie