As I begin to audition for more roles like this, my love for the story and the character will mean nothing unless another person has decided I was the right one they wanted to love.
noise dept.
ojovivo

@theartofmadeline

titsay
Today's Document
No title available
Cosmic Funnies
🪼
occasionally subtle

No title available
🩵 avery cochrane 🩵
Keni

tannertan36
No title available
KIROKAZE
todays bird
hello vonnie
sheepfilms
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Xuebing Du

seen from Venezuela
seen from Thailand
seen from Türkiye

seen from Türkiye
seen from Colombia
seen from Colombia
seen from Malaysia
seen from Saudi Arabia

seen from India
seen from Colombia

seen from Netherlands

seen from United Kingdom
seen from Greece

seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from Sweden

seen from Indonesia
seen from Trinidad & Tobago
seen from Ecuador

seen from Malaysia
@lookssmart-blog
As I begin to audition for more roles like this, my love for the story and the character will mean nothing unless another person has decided I was the right one they wanted to love.
Sitting on the sidelines
There was a film project on Kickstarter, the crowdfunding website, that my friend showed me a few months ago that caught my heart. It was a suspense/thriller--a horror film called "Escape the Dark." They launched a campaign video that attracted me and instantly I was enamored by their project. I didn't even know these people and I donated $25 to help fund their feature film to be produced. I loved their story and they seemed to be an incredibly smart couple of guys working together to get this film out there. I was passionate to see this project take off. (The campaign has ended with them meeting their goal with an extra $1,000.)
Then I got wind they were holding auditions in Los Angeles so I emailed them to send in a taped audition with the help of my boyfriend. I poured over this audition. They liked it and called me for a second audition. I was nervous for it but rehearsed, rehearsed, rehearsed. I was not the look of the character that they wanted (with long hair in a ponytail), but I think they must've liked my performance enough to determine that the look wasn't as important as the performance.
They're a great pair of guys and I took my adjustment during my audition to the best of my ability. The choices I had come prepared to make, I wasn't able to make because suddenly, I was auditioning with another girl who was reading for the other part. The choices I wanted to make (such as standing up to talk more intimately) didn't make sense anymore. But I did the best I could.
A couple of weeks go by and I hadn't heard back, with me biting my nails with anxiety. This was a project I loved and wanted so strongly to be part of. I was ready to make a lot of sacrifices to make this film with this team. I emailed the casting director about their decisions and she replied that they had made their list for a third round of auditions and I was not on it. I will not be part of the Escape the Dark cast. Shit.
A few days have gone by since I found out. And I've been in a weird limbo. I talked to my friend and fellow actor, Junesoo Ham, about how I felt. Something like this happens all the time to an actor: You can work your butt off for something you love and not see a result--you don't even get to go to the starting line. This rejection has made me see that,
As I begin to audition for more roles like this, my love for the story and the character will mean nothing unless another person has decided I was the right one they wanted to love.
It reminds me that I cannot just be an actor, waiting for someone to determine my future. I can continue honing my craft and making stronger decisions in immersing myself into a character, but to not be their Chosen One does not mean I am something less. Besides being an actress, I am a filmmaker. I can bring my own stories to life or help others' bring theirs to life. Maybe it means I'll be more right for something else down the line; a project I'll love even more which will have a larger outcome. That's all I can hope for, anyway, that everything is meant to be. For now, I'll just take new headshots in the hopes that a different photo of me will entice someone to take a chance on me.
Thanks, Alexis Dickey, for the headshot photography!
Thanks, Shirley Do, for the headshot make up and hair help!
Thanks, Junesoo Ham, for the acting advice!
Thanks, Chris Stark, for being my reader in my auditions!
Thanks, always, Sandy To, the best mother I had no choice in choosing!
Headshot day!
I'm taking this as a new beginning, with new headshots. Sure, it's almost the end of 2014, but a "new year" doesn't have to begin with 1/1, does it?
I was inspired to start a blog by a friend I met in Telluride, Co when I was there earlier this spring for its MountainFilm Fest. I met someone who spotted me wearing Penn State gear, and we chatted for a bit and I gave him my business card to keep in touch. A couple days ago, I received an email saying he found my card while cleaning and checked out my website and found it inspiring. And I find it inspiring that he was inspired. Thus came the creation of my blog, Looks Smart.
I'll go into details about the title of the blog later, but today...is headshot day!! I spent a few days at malls, looking for colorful tops/dresses to showcase myself best for casting directors/agents/filmmakers of commercials, film, and TV (and recently, new media). Yes, yes, poor me, having to go shopping for all these new clothes. But you know, I'll be returning almost all of it right after the photo session. That was a tip from my boyfriend/talent manager: Buy new clothes for taking headshot. (And then return them.)
Searching for the clothes meant searching for good return policies, as well. Nordstrom's is awesome--you can return it any time as long as you have the receipt and tags. Most department stores are like this. And, having used to work at Target, I knew its return policy is pretty solid--not to mention they tend to be the best for affordable, trendy fashion.
I sound like an advertisement.
Anyhow, some of the things I had to prep, other than shopping, was figuring out who I wanted to portray in my headshots. I had to think of character types I wanted to audition for: the perky, whiny, lovable best friend; the studious and sarcastic college student; the calculated, acerbic self-determined leader; a spitfire party animal with lots of secrets. Most of these character types I found from previous roles I've played or roles I've studied in acting class and found genuineness in studying them.
It got me thinking...
There are many males in the entertainment industry who portray absolutely astounding work as different characters. Javier Bardem, Christian Bale, Heath Ledger, Gary Oldman (I didn't mean to site Batman so much...), Daniel Day-Lewis, etc, etc. When it comes to females portraying characters, a lot of comedic actresses come to mind: Melissa McCarthy, Glenn Close, Cameron Diaz, Meryl Streep..............
It's interesting that there aren't very many dramatic or thriller type of female lead characters; characters where you wonder, how the FUCK did that actor get inside THAT skin?! And I think there's amazing, special beauty about an actor that can do that. Perhaps it's because female lead characters instantly have to exude some type of sexiness to match up to a social norm. Our style of vengeance has to be calculated and smart (which is one of my character types). It can't be frenetic and wild. This minority inspires me to write thriller/dramatic female leads who aren't this way.
Back to the headshot prep. No, I didn't work out for this. I'm not the athletic type. I'm more of an outdoor adventure type. So if a hiking trip is able to trim and tone me, then awesome. Otherwise, the only workout I get is lifting heavy bus tubs/coolers at my catering job. And believe me, that does wonders for that pesky tank top/underarm fat. I did consciously think to drink more water and not eat potato chips. Something about my body is super sensitive to potato chips--a few chips and a couple days later, a pimple appears. Proven fact.
Part of the prep was also trying on all my outfits to see what type of bra I could wear. It's a trivial detail, but you don't want the bra lines showing underneath the shirt nor do you want the straps showing. I considered pasties but even that might be too much boobage. So, a nude-colored bra with strapable straps tends to be the best choice.
Some more details about today: I'll be taking headshots with the photographer Alexis Dickey, whom I referred to by my commercial agents at LB Talent. My hair/make up girl will be Shirley Do, whom I met kind of strangely. I worked on set for my friend Jim Huffman and met the hair/make up girl there, Phoebe. I later emailed her about working on a production of mine, but she was unavailable and referred me to someone. But that person was unavailable and I asked her for a couple references. And then that person couldn't work with my price range and eventually referred me to Shirley. It was quite a long process to get to someone as amazing as Shirley, but well worth it! She or her assistants have been working for me and my other friends who have asked for her. Just another instance of proof that it never hurts to follow-up a rejection with a, "Can you refer me to two people who can?" Asking for a referral is how I was able to get my current commercial agency whom I love. (Thanks, Rachel Williams, for the referral!)
It goes to show that we shouldn't be afraid to ask for help. Just remember to send a Thank You note to those who give it. :)