Just an imperfect, destitute 34-year-old neurodivergent demipansexual, facing major chronic illnesses that, due to doctors' bigotry, have stripped away what little sense of purpose I had left. I find solace in constant music & have an insatiable love for coffee. I'm a laid-back vegan, animal lover, & proud weirdo who still adores dinosaurs, knitting, horror movies, true crime, conspiracy theories, & all things squishy, cute, weird & plush! Yes, I’m a lone wolf at heart, but like many, I’ve unfortunately been exploited & discarded in the past. Despite this, I remain deeply empathetic. My sweet as chocolate crunch baby boy & shining light—Lucifer (AKA “Pookie-bear.” ) is always so supportive & loving. Helping me to take things minute by minute, hour by hour, moment by moment. Battling chronic illness along with various lifelong neuro’ & psych’ disorders, my two biggest antagonists are treatment-resistant Major Depressive Disorder & C-PTSD—they’re constant sources of pain & suffering. Yet, I strive to find even the smallest moments of light & hold onto the belief that kindness is essential. I believe that genuine kindness runs deep within every form of love, reaffirming its truth from the very core. It can make a profound difference, more than many might realize. To kindly contribute & make a difference to this certifiable, lackluster & demolishing existence of one chronically ill, lone, neurodivergent, shit-show of a millennial, please follow my official PayPal link & know your gesture is very much appreciated! Every little helps with the struggle. PayPal:- https://paypal.me/LoopyLu666?locale.x=en_GB&country.x=GB
I find myself most often wandering in my thoughts these days. As though life has passed me by, come & gone, only to leave me a desolate trace of an idea someone may have once created.
If only it hadn't been for such a busy schedule, or maybe they were just too exhausted to ride through with the thought that was me that day?
So somehow I remain, I exist, but not really. I'm not of tangible substance like the strangers you pass on the street, on that questionable sticky, green gooey substance you find yourself losing gaze to while waiting for the bus. All the while wondering, what could you have been, before you were so doomed?
It’s tragic. Pathetic really, that I know.
But most of all it’s painful, which I can only find the perfect coupling of soul-draining and ironic; my life, these feelings.
So overwhelming, so painful, and yet, so meaningless…so much of nothing that if you blink, I’m already gone!
Thank you for everything! Know that you were loved dearly, even if you didn’t always know it. Now it’s time to let rest. #TheEnd is far approaching… (at Risca) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cpv3htHIR7MIK_d5S1t0HsHuJq78RD4UJtUI4Q0/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
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