“....so again then?” There she was. Minerva. Bigger than life. Again. I gave a sheepish smile.
“...again...”
“how did it happen this time?” Minerva sighed as she took some ethereal essence and formed it into a glorious wonderful looking chair, buttoned with the brightest stars in the galaxy, stars that paled in comparison only to her eyes.
“....a train...hit my bike...” I mumbled back sheepishly again. Minerva sighed an infinite sigh...and I felt guilty. As my essence floated through the cosmos, I looked down towards the little ball of dirt I called home.
“Well I see. I suppose you’ll want to go back.” Minerva said raising an eyebrow. “...right?”
“.....” I didn’t answer. I looked like a child with their hand in the cookie jar.
“....Sam it’s okay...I’m not mad. I’m just...disappointed.” That hurt more than any sort of hell she could throw me into...though calling her a she was limiting. She was more than a she. More than a they. More than the entirety of the universe. she..they..it...just was infinitely complicated and wonderful and immaculate and beautiful. It was getting harder to lie to her.
“So come on Sam...let’s talk please. Tell me how things have been.” Finally after what seemed like ages, she formed a chair for me as well. The past three times she’d done this right when we’d met. This time she seemed to be...exasperated with me..though she still did seem happy to see me and my heart did...metaphorically flutter.
“O.okay Minnie...” It was my little nickname for her. She always giggled at it, even now and good her, her giggle. It was the most beautiful sound in the world.
I remembered the first time we’d met. She’d been so amused that a mortal had referred to her in such a common way. She didn’t want me to pass on, said the world needed more like me...so she resurrected me. Rebuilt my body, made my old corpse disappear, and changed some records on earth. No one knew.
I’d woken up in my own bed and thought. “did that happen or was that a dream?”
I became obsessed with finding out. I decided to kill myself, but in a place where I could be jumped back to life. It didn’t work.
I was put into a sanitarium for months. Next time I didn’t do a half measure. I jumped off a roof.
And landed next to Minerva again. I was overjoyed. And so was she! We chatted, and she decided to let me have another life. I happily took it.
And then I started dreaming about her. As I went through my life I had dreams of her form, her shape, her comforting presence. I thought she might be trying to reach out to me...at first. It wasn’t until the bus hit me that I learned that, no, she hadn’t been. I’d just been dreaming about her.
When I was resurrected the third time, I spent some time thinking on it...and I realized that..I was in love. With a goddess. Who I only got to see when I died. I thought it was stupid. I thought I was bothering her. So I kept my head down. For four whole months.
.....but I wanted to see her.
I had promised her before I wouldn’t kill myself again. She said that had made her sad. So instead I...took to doing high risk activities and being an adrenaline junkie. Turns out I was kinda good at it. Too good. Took me another four months to actually die.
And now here I was, considering declaring my love for a deity who probably thought I was like a dog, or a house cat. I didn’t know what to do. If I had a body, I’d probably be crying.
“Sam?” Minerva said softly. The sound of cool winds and beautiful music reached my form as she spoke. “....is everything alright? you seem nervous.”
“...s..so if I didn’t go back...what happens next?”
Minerva blinked a few times. She seemed surprised at that. “...you would..pass on...and I’m afraid I can’t tell you what happens then. not unless you commit.”
“a..ah..and..I..would pass on..would you be able to see me?”
“...no Sam, not for a long...long time.” Minerva seemed sad at that. “...I’ve..responsibilities. Systems to run. Mortals to direct.”
“Do you..need any help with that?” I asked in a kind of joking manner...but really I was testing the waters.
She laughed again and my heart broke. “that’s infinitely sweet of you Sam, but no, you are a mortal. You weren’t meant to stay here and help with the running of the universe. You could do it, but it would change you, in ways you wouldn’t like.”
“but we’d get to hang out?”
Minerva did the ethereal energy version of someone tilting their head. “...yes..we would...Sam what’s this about?”
“.....I don’t..have anything back there for me.”
“Sam you know that’s not true. you have a girlfriend, a mother, brothers, you’ve got-”
“I don’t have a girlfriend anymore.” I bluntly said before I could stop myself. Minerva frowned, and attempted to comfort me.
“why not?”
“...I...was...am..in love with..someone else.” oh Her could I do it? Could I actually tell..her? I was so nervous It felt like I could burst out of existence at any second.
“Well then you have to go back for her!” Minerva said with renewed vigor.
“I don’t..I don’t know if she likes girls.” I responded. “in fact I don’t know if she likes anything..or anyone. But I..I like her.”
“Tell me about her.”
“She’s wonderful. Beautiful would...not describe her. It’s just not complete enough.”
“Oh my.”
“But that’s not what attracted me to her, it was her..well her mind. and her heart. She cares for everyone, every single person, even if they don’t see it. She’s smart as a whip, and we can chat like old friends no matter how long we’ve been apart. She’s fun, and she has a wonderful giggle.”
“She sounds astounding...why don’t you try telling her, see if she feels the same way?”
“....Hey Minnie?”
“Yes sam?”
“Have..you ever taken human form?” IT was a question I’d never thought to ask before. Minerva laughed. It was beautiful. the infinite cosmos changed. Now Minerva was sitting across from me, on a couch, in a very cozy apartment room. Of course she could do this. She could do anything. I knew I wasn’t alive again, I knew the room wasn’t real, but i was in a body that could feel things.
And so was she.
“I clean up pretty well don’t you think?” She smiled at me with a bright, bright smile. My heart melted.
“..y..yeah...uh...uh...” And I don’t know what came over me. I decided to go for it. “....Minnie....w..would you..uh..d..do..do you like...me?”
“You’re one of my dearest friends Sam.” THat wasn’t what I meant.
“That wasn’t...what I...” I stared at her for a second. Then I leaned in and kissed her. She was...surprised. She was tense.
But only for a second. She leaned back into our kiss, she wrapped her arms around me. I did the same. I put my forehead against hers and closed my eyes, afraid this was another dream.
“...s..so...you think the girl will say yes?”
“....”Minerva was blushing. And flustered. Her, she was cute. “.....I think there’s a good chance of that..yes...”
