Have these little quotes things where I make fun of characters.
Ash: *referring to the afterlife* if I could take you all with me... I wouldn’t.
Gary: Motherfucking bitch, You’d literally be the last one of us.
Ash: I said ‘Till death do us apart’ in my vow but we both know death ain’t keeping me away from you.
Raihan: I understood that before marriage was even a thought on the table, love.
Ash: I don’t have a caffeine addiction!
Misty: you won a years supply of coffee from the biggest coffee producer chain in Kanto, Johto, and Hoenn then ran out before the year was half way over-
Ash: why is my tranq gun getting taken away?
Alder: I’d rather avoid you getting sued by Trip and his family as much as possible.
Ash: if he got shot it would be his own fault!
Alder: no. No the fuck it wouldn’t. I don’t understand why the Council lets you have one anyways and this is me talking.
Gladion: why does everyone trust you so much!?
Ash: *realizing there’s literally no one around* why the fuck does Lillie still trust you after you abandoned her?
Ash: uno reverse, Bitch. Face your actions before you start preaching’ at me to face mine.
Ash: *in reference of Rose* he looks like one of those sketchy cars salesman with their hair slicked back and doing tax fraud.
Raihan: You! You. You get it.
Ash: of course I get it. I deal with Lance almost every day
Lance: *from another room* Hey!
Ash: *reference to Paul* I don’t know if I want to punch him or kiss him
Dawn: you have... the worst taste in men.
Ash: hey Brock? Can I ask you something?
Brock: hmm? Shouldn’t you be heading to the airport?
Ash: yeah but just answer this for me real quick.
Ash: is it okay for me to not want to... kiss a girl? Like at all?
Brock: oh yeah, absolutely my man. Everyone’s different.
Ash: okay... what about if I actually want to kiss a guy instead.
Brock: again. Completely normal. plenty of guys kiss other guys along with girls kissing girls. It could go platonic or romantic either way.
Ash: so I wouldn’t be... I wouldn’t be straight then? Right?
Brock; yeah no. Your sexuality would be classified as homosexual or, in short term, gay.
Ash: ah okay. Thanks for answering so fast! I gotta get going now.
Brock: have fun in Kalos, Ash.
Ash: *in reference to Alain* he’s so fucking hot and It’s unfair! I wanna marry that boy.
Ash; *finds about Lysander* my dad’s a villain. I don’t need my future father-in-law to be one too.
Ash: *meets Rose in the future* oh motherfu-
Serena talking to Miette: Ash is totally straight!
Ash: *chilling in a t-shirt that says ‘I’m gayer then Ho-Oh’ written in Kantonian in the background*
Ash: actually, now that I think about it, I got a rainbow feather from Ho-Oh my literal first day as a trainer.
Gary: and why are you telling me this-
Ash: the bitch knew I was gay before I did
Ash: yo, Rai. My dad’s want to meet you. Since, ya’know, our one year anniversary is coming up and they haven’t yet.
Raihan: oh okay! Who are they?
Ash: .... Lugia and Tapu Koko
Raihan: babe I love you so much but that’s literally the tamest thing you’ve told me.
Iris: *for the hundredth time that day* You’re such a little kid Ash!
Ash: *under his breath* murder means paperwork. Murder means paperwork. Murder means paperwork. Murder means-
Ash: *in reference to Gladion* he’s good looking but not enough for me to not kick his ass on sight.
Goh: I’m going to catch Mew!
Ash: *under his breath* hey Arceus? Yeah, I’m sorry that I called you a twink bitch last night-
Goh: I chose Mew as my starter.
Prof.Cerise: I don’t think that’s a-
Ash: No. No. Let him be stupid, this will be a good learning curve for him. *to Goh* alright then. Let’s do this.
Gary: *references to Paul, Alain, and Gladion* Ash has a very specific brooding type
Gary: well here I stand. On top of my hill, uncorrected like always.
Gary: man broods but just... in a lighter and louder way.
Brock: a hot chocolate with vodka and extra whip compared to a group of battery acid’s.
Misty: why the fuck did that make so much sense.