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@losermuse
m.list ⋮ ⌗ ┆ byf ⋮ ⌗ ┆AO3
Well infold really fucked up. They’ve completely sucked the fun out of the game for me. Everything that’s happened has made me lose any interest in interacting with the fandom or even logging in. Im exhausted and im turning this blog into an archive. Idk if i’ll ever come back but i cant do this anymore. Its not fun and im done wasting my time on something that keeps on disappointing me
Whatever im moving on to light and night and silent whispers
Im fighting with my internet to post this. Infold just killed their own game and its longevity and for what??? #ripwolfboy #bringhimback
Hi hi i missed yapping here
Mama he’s hot….
Hello! I hope you’re doing well, I love your works sm, I was wondering if you have an ao3?
Hi nonnie! Yes i do :D I just cross-posted my fic there. It’s loserdove on ao3 ♡
Link
<3
It kinda hurts to admit this but i think i’ve lost passion for lads and the fandom in general
Dont get me wrong—i still do my dailies and fangirl over caleb whenever he shows up but overall im just really burnt out. Which is probably why i’ve barely written anything lately and why i’ve been pretty inactive (i blame uni for that too)
I think part of it is that i’ve been paying way too much attention to engagement (again). Every time i post something, i end up looking at the notes, interactions, numbers and comparing myself to everyone else. Not even in a “oh their writing is better than mine” but more like wondering why i seem to be stuck in the same place while everyone else is growing
And before anyone says anything no, this isnt me fishing for compliments. Im just trying to be honest abt how i’ve been feeling and i want to let it out
I think i put way too much pressure on myself and this blog. What started out as a fun little space to create silly fanfics somehow turned into something that constantly stresses me out. I started to overthink everything i wrote whether people would like it, whether it was worth posting, whether it would flop and eventually writing just stopped being fun for me
This blog used to feel like my safe space but for the past few months actually, being on here feels exhausting. Sometimes i open tumblr wanting to write and then immediately close the app cause i just dont have the energy for it anymore
Maybe i need bazillion breaks idk. All i know is that i need to stop caring so much and remember why i started this blog in the first place
I just miss having fun and i miss the people here and my last hiatus kinda made me drift away from everyone so i think thats why everything feels a bit off now. Things moved on, people moved on and i feel a little out of sync with everything
I dont really know what im doing right now but i do hope i can find my way back to enjoying this again and actually talking to people like i used to. I do miss it
Little update: i got my final grades back and theyre really good ayyy so ig all those hiatuses were actually worth it in the end. And to top it off i also got caleb’s your skyblue card :3 we are so back
Just want to say I love your blog aesthetic 😁
THANK YOU NONNIE :3 im trying to go for a cute and gloomy vibes
Food play opinion?
Nonnie i actually tried making a drabble for this but the writing slump won i fear </3
As for food play with caleb he’s 50/50:
One side: loves the teasing part. Leaning in close, licking chocolate off your lips, smearing whipped cream on your skin just to clean it off slowly. He’s into making a mess and watching you squirm
Other side: too practical. He’d never shove whipped cream inside you, not even a finger’s worth cause he got the voice in his head going “yeast infection, pips, i’m not risking it” lol. But if you ask him to lick it off your puss? He’s on his knees before you could finish your sentence. He’ll take his time, tongue flat and slow making sure every drop is gone. He won’t stop until you’re gripping his hair and soaking his chin
Random imagine cause im feeling all fluffy: you’re chewing gum and he kisses you, stealing it right from your mouth. You get all flustered thinkimg he’s trying to be smooth only for his ass to pull away and immediately blow bubble with it. Now the mood is ruined cause he’s laughing and you’re trying to decide whether to kiss him or smack him (go for both)
I don’t think losing passion and being burnt out are the same thing. The fact that you still get excited when Caleb shows up and that you miss writing, the community, and the fun you used to have tells me the love is probably still there somewhere. It just sounds buried under a lot of pressure, comparison, and exhaustion. engagement is that it has a way of convincing us that growth can be measured by numbers alone, when in reality some of the most meaningful things we create never show up in stats. A fic can make someone’s entire week and you might never know it. And honestly, uni, life, burnout, hiatuses, all of that changes people. It’s normal to come back and feel out of sync. It doesn’t mean you lost your place. It just means you’ve been away and you're trying to find your footing again. If you need another break, take one. If you want to post less, post less. If you want to write something completely self indulgent that gets five notes, write it anyway.
Miss aerin why do you always know exactly what to say :’)
I think youre right cause looking at it now, it does sound like burnout than me actually losing passion for it. I’ve just been so stuck in my own head that everything started feeling the same
And yeah, the engagement thing is probably my biggest issues. Ik numbers dont define the value of something but its hard to remember sometimes
Thank you once again miss aerin 🤍 i feel like eveytime im spiralling abt something you somehkw manage to pull me back down to earth a little
<3
It kinda hurts to admit this but i think i’ve lost passion for lads and the fandom in general
Dont get me wrong—i still do my dailies and fangirl over caleb whenever he shows up but overall im just really burnt out. Which is probably why i’ve barely written anything lately and why i’ve been pretty inactive (i blame uni for that too)
I think part of it is that i’ve been paying way too much attention to engagement (again). Every time i post something, i end up looking at the notes, interactions, numbers and comparing myself to everyone else. Not even in a “oh their writing is better than mine” but more like wondering why i seem to be stuck in the same place while everyone else is growing
And before anyone says anything no, this isnt me fishing for compliments. Im just trying to be honest abt how i’ve been feeling and i want to let it out
I think i put way too much pressure on myself and this blog. What started out as a fun little space to create silly fanfics somehow turned into something that constantly stresses me out. I started to overthink everything i wrote whether people would like it, whether it was worth posting, whether it would flop and eventually writing just stopped being fun for me
This blog used to feel like my safe space but for the past few months actually, being on here feels exhausting. Sometimes i open tumblr wanting to write and then immediately close the app cause i just dont have the energy for it anymore
Maybe i need bazillion breaks idk. All i know is that i need to stop caring so much and remember why i started this blog in the first place
I just miss having fun and i miss the people here and my last hiatus kinda made me drift away from everyone so i think thats why everything feels a bit off now. Things moved on, people moved on and i feel a little out of sync with everything
I dont really know what im doing right now but i do hope i can find my way back to enjoying this again and actually talking to people like i used to. I do miss it
which one of the LIs do you think like breast milk?
(Beside the fact they are good for bodybuilding)
༘⋆ ⋮ CW: lactation kink
No. 1 is honestly tied between caleb and xavier lmao. Im biased towards caleb cause that man is obsessed with you he’d consume literally anything (cum, piss, spit, etc.) from you without hesitation. Xavier is freak king so ofc he’s there. Zayne would still somehow turn it into a science thing while using your tits as stress balls instead imo
He’s still clinging to you when he pulls away, lips glossy and swollen, milk coating his tongue. His eyes are glassy and unfocused—completely gone on it. A shaky sigh leaves him as another drop slips down his chin.
You brush it away with your thumb, “you okay there?”
He barely nods, forehead falling against your tits again like he’s too heavy to hold himself up. Super milk-drunk. Still mouthing lazily at your skin, chasing the taste even after he’s full.
“Mm, better than anything.”
Hello! I have to say that your blog is my favorite on here, your writing is fantastic! Thank you for sharing your works with us!!!!
Giving you a fat kiss on the forehead nonnie. Thank you for reading and staying 🤍
hey, just wanted to drop by and say i’m so incredibly glad you didn’t quit. honestly, i’ve been feeling a lot like you have lately too, but i'm really glad you’re still here. 💛
to celebrate you staying, here is a picture of my foster dog! hopefully this little burst of cheerfulness infects you too. sending you lots of love.
AERIN THATS THE CUTEST DOGGIE EVER!! What a little sweetheart and thank you angel im also glad you’re still here with me. Here’s to better days for both of us 🤍
hello! I just wanted to come on here and tell you how absolutely life changing finding your blog was to me😭 when i read a hunger named you for the first time it was like genuinely a brand new experience. I’ve always been a Caleb main but i think reading your story like solidified it lmao so I just wanted to thank u for making such a masterpiece🥹
Anon you dont understand that this ask literally saved this blog. I was THIS close to deactivating and disappearing forever but reading this genuinely brought me back. It still makes me giddy that ppl still like ahny. Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to send this sweetheart because of you i think i’ll stay a little longer ♡
♡ my gf writes BL about who?! ♡
CW: 18+ (MDNI) oral, fingering, come spitting, voyeurism, overusage of pips/honey, Caleb larping as an omegaverse expert (he has no clue what he's talking about), Caleb/Zayne (snowapple), kind of ooc for Caleb & Zayne || Words: 3.3k || Summary: Caleb snoops through his gf's belongings and stumbles upon her BL fics.
A/N: Late bday gift for @losermuse!! I'm sorry that this took so long my brain went on strike </3 Love you lots musey muse!! <3333 Manifesting good grades and rest for you mwah 💙
also zayne has a dick piercing as requested by @harlotistic >:3
BL, SNOWAPPLE, OMEGAVERSE, CUM SPITTING, CUCK MC! Miss kory!!! You captured the things i like so well <3333 genuinely the best and funniest fic i have ever read. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! AND THANK YOU @harlotistic FOR SUGGESTING THE DICK PIERCING ON ZAYNE I LOVE ITTTT. Im gonna eat both yall out. Dont lock the doors—papa is coming.
I cant even describe how much reading this gave me serotonin. I was basically full on giggling the whole time. I would 100% read this again if im feeling down
I realllyyyy adore your unhinged writing kory. I didnt realise how much i missed readinf it. Your pacing and dialogue are so good and everything flows naturally
I love how cocky and annoying you made caleb here like that’s my ideal boyfriend/gege. The part of him larping on omegaverse (we say thank you wiki for helping his dumbass) had me losing it!!! He’s so insufferable ughhhh (yes caleb you’re so annoying but fuck me please)