Left Behind

Rebecca Richman || 15 || Survivor Of those who do not speak, few are silent.

[lostbecca-blog]

Home || Becca & Toby

[itskarasykes]

Bright blue eyes, so familiar, stared up at him through a sheen of blonde hair, blue eyes that saw but didn’t see, that existed but showed little life behind them. It was like a stab through his soul when her gaze spoke of nothing more than loss and depression, skirted away from him without a word spoken - though her lips had formed his name, he thought. Just briefly, a motion. 

T O B Y

But those eyes were dead.  Was he dreaming? Was his mind playing tricks on him as a way to somehow cope? Or was this just some cruel joke as she turned away from him and returned the angry tip of her pen to the paper mounted on the clipboard before her. 

“Rebecca, Becca please -” he started, voice breaking in it’s urgency. She was there, she was real, she had to be, she HAD to be - she had to be here. What was he going to do if she wasn’t? What was he going to do if he had to admit that she was dead?

He crossed the room then, slowly, approaching her and letting his hand rest carefully on the top of her head, brush through her hair, before both hands curled around small shoulders - one final attempt to assure himself that she as physically there before him - before he pulled her against him. “Rebecca it’s me, it’s me. I’m SORRY, I’m sorry -” 

[lostbecca-blog]

It took every last ounce of willpower Rebecca possessed to keep her gaze firmly rooted on her drawing, to ignore the presence she was still painfully aware of. But it wasn’t real, she reminded herself, and that became her mantra as she scribbled furiously against the clipboard. Not real, not real, not real. Even when he spoke again, his voice familiar and reflecting the pain she was feeling herself.

It was enough to make her look up cautiously, surprised to find that the image of her brother had not been altered, had not been twisted into something as terrible and vicious as the monsters in her head. Hesitant blue eyes watched him move closer, unbelieving even when he was mere feet away, and then inches -- closer than her imagination should have let him come. 

And then she felt the familiar weight of his hand on her head, through her hair, and Becca wondered if she had died. She didn’t move; she couldn’t move. She could only stare at him unblinking, waiting for something to go wrong even though he was here, he was touching her, and she could see the grief and worry in his face as he pulled her against him.

For several seconds she was still, and it was only when his voice broke off a second time that she allowed herself to believe this might actually be Toby. That he might not be in her head. But she was afraid as she slowly, tentatively reached her arms around him, waiting for him to disappear. He didn’t. He was solid, he was here, and a choked sob fell from her lips as she buried her face in her brother’s shoulder, tightened her grip on him as if afraid he might fade away if she didn’t hold him tight enough. 

[ivyholloway-blog]

Despite all of the sadness, pain and wounds, Ivy managed to find light to throw over the kid. They were some months apart, maybe one year, but Becca was petite and shy — not to mention completely mute. Sometimes, communication with her was just as hard as she felt she was when she tried to speak to others. Ivy was fine with it, she knew how hard it felt, speaking up.  Becca gestured and Ivy imitated perfectly her gestures, with a soft grin before kissing her forehead in a protective way. “ Did you find him? ” Ivy was good at being good for the rest.

[lostbecca-blog]

Ivy did not gaze at her with confusion, did not question why Rebecca didn’t use her voice, and it only increased the trust she had in the older girl. It was rare that Becca felt understood so quickly, and her tiny smile grew wider when Ivy mimicked her own gesture back. And wider still at the soft, gentle kiss placed on her forehead.

But it crumpled just as quickly, with the reminder of what she had lost. Her whole face fell, any traces of happiness gone without a trace, and her eyes flickered to the ground as she answered Ivy with a small, sad shake of her head.

[lostbecca-blog]

Home || Becca & Toby

[itskarasykes]

Tobias hadn’t wanted to give up hope. He had clung to it like a life raft beaten by angry wave after wave, threatening to toss him overboard and fill his lungs with seawater. But with each passing sunrise and sunset the idea that he may once again be reunited with his sister seemed more and more unlikely. They had been lucky to find the handful of survivors they had come across at the church, the possibility of finding the others was beginning to feel slim to none. 

Not to mention their poor luck when coming upon the bridge that had been bombed out, leaving them with no choice but to take a route through the trees. He felt like they could have easily made it across the bridge and not wasted time picking through the cover of the forest, making the separation even more tangible. He hadn’t liked that despite the fact that they had no true destination that they were finding themselves lost on the forest. At least out in the open there was a chance they may run into any other groups, they had more of a chance of meeting with survivors doing the same as they were. The trees only served as a shield from the outside world.

So when they finally found their way back on track and spotted a somewhat familiar looking building in the distance Tobias expected a flood of hope through his veins, a belief that Rebecca may be there, safe and sound, waiting for him. But that didn’t come - no, instead he was simply numb. After time and time again it felt as if nothing truly mattered anymore; Rebecca was gone and he was alone in this hell world he’d once called home.

All around him he could see his fellow survivors reconnecting with family, friends - lost loved ones. Gwen with Corvo and the child, Ivy. Lori with her lost love, Owen. Every last one of them who had thought they lost someone over the past days, weeks - month, rediscovering that they were still alive and well, waiting for them. 

But not Rebecca. She wasn’t here, she wasn’t waiting for him. 

It took an incredible amount of will power for him to move through the abandoned halls, past the shouts and whoops of excitement, the tears of joy, to begin exploring the building they would, for now, be calling home. The place must have been abandoned early on in the outbreak, overturned from scavengers and torn apart in places by the dead. But it was sturdy and had what they needed - it was far better than anywhere else they’d found since leaving Fall City - and it was safe, to an extent. 

His eyes searched the rooms on either side of the hall, fingertips brushing against doors to clear vision of the exam rooms and hospital beds - yes, this had what they needed, once they got over the feeling of death within the walls. A place for food and cooking, rooms for privacy, beds - it could be something good. 

Then he saw that one of the exam rooms wasn’t as empty as it had first seemed. Blonde hair, blue eyes, bloodstained clothing - curled up in the corner of one of the quiet exam rooms with a clipboard and pen in hand. For a moment he thought she was a figment of his imagination, his mind playing tricks on him. She wasn’t actually here, was she? No, he had left her, abandoned her - she was gone. Just an image in his head, something with an attempt to bring him comfort. 

“Becca?”

[lostbecca-blog]

“Becca?”

The voice was one she recognized immediately, one that sent a pang of longing through her as it mixed with the rest of the noises playing through her head. She had longed for that voice since the bombs fell, dreamed of her brother coming to find her. She had finally given up. Hoping hurt too much. And now she had, it seemed her brother’s voice had become one of the voices that echoed in her head. But there was something different about it. About the way it cut through the rest of the noise, louder, more present. Like it was coming from the same room.

In spite of herself, Rebecca’s eyes flickered up from her angry drawing. Blue eyes partially covered by stray pieces of unruly hair widened as they locked onto the figure that stood in the doorway. Toby. Her lips formed the word, though no sound came out. In fact, she forgot even to breathe as she stared at him in shock. Real, he looked so real, and yet --

He couldn’t be. Toby was gone. Rebecca could feel herself fading away, losing her grip on what was real and what was fake, and now she was seeing the figures of those she had lost. Her grip tightened on her pen and her gaze dropped determinedly to the drawing on her clipboard, to the image of fire and rubble and monsters that had burned itself into her memory. Toby wasn’t here. 

Toby wasn’t here. 

[ivyholloway-blog]

When she said once she wanted a dog, she had never meant it that much. Ripley had stayed with her for weeks now but Dogtwo still needed a name. She knew she had seen the dog before but she couldn’t tell if it belonged to someone exactly. Not like dogs belong to people —- they just stay with those they like and feed them. Apparently, both dogs enjoyed Ivy, which was one of the reasons she hadn’t killed herself yet. Dogs a reason to stay alive. Babies, on the other hand, are reasons people die for.

None of them was in the groups that collided on the hospital; not Gwen, not Corvo. So that meant they had either survived and left or died. So when the dog looked at her and Ripley moved to shine a light on Becca’s position, Ivy followed the cans. “ I bet you can say they like nice people — I’m not exactly sure how I manage to become their friend, actually. ” Ivy greeted the kid with her chating attitude, even if she had learnt Becca had no words to give back. “ You feeling okay? ” But she knew, she saw it in her eyes. She was waiting for someone who, just as Corvo and Gwen at this time, would most likely never show up.

[lostbecca-blog]

Sure enough, the sound of footsteps was not far behind the arrival of the friendly dog, and despite herself Becca managed a small, fragile smile at Ivy as she approached. Even more than before Fall City had collapsed, Becca had come to see Ivy as everything she wanted to be. Strong, capable, independent. And kind, too, for she did not shy away from offering a friendly greeting even though she surely had to know Becca could not answer her. 

She shook her head in response to Ivy’s initial comment; of course the dogs liked her. But the faint trace of a smile on her lips faded at Ivy’s question, and Becca had to swallow hard past the lump that formed in her throat before she could answer with a small shrug. She was alive, still. That had to count for something. Maybe. Becca didn’t want to think about that. Instead she pointed to Ivy, her face questioning as she brought her thumb and pointer finger together in the universal symbol for ‘OK.’ Her voiceless way of asking if the older girl was alright, too.

[lostbecca-blog]

Home || Becca & Toby

@loyaltobias

Hollow.

That was how Rebecca felt as the new group of Fall City residents joined them at the hospital. All around her were joyful reunions, shouts of joy and cries of relief, and the fifteen-year-old didn’t even pause to look over the new faces. It would hurt too much, to scan each new arrival until there were none left, only to find that once again her brother was not among them. The hope she had felt when that first group found them at the barn, and again when they’d come to the hospital to find it full of other survivors, had finally abandoned her. 

She was not alone, not entirely. There were Jesse and Aiden, who looked out for her and cared for her in Toby’s absence. Ivy, who was strong and fearless and everything Becca wished to be herself. Ada and Lily, bursts of light and friendship in the darkness --

But still she felt empty. They did not know her, they did not understand her, and the only person who could was gone, gone, gone. 

Her families’ screams, the high-pitched sound of bombs falling from the sky, the pounding of undead bodies against a door that was not strong enough to hold them off -- a symphony of terror played through her head as she ducked into an empty exam room, biting the inside of her cheek until she tasted blood on her tongue. 

Grasping at an abandoned clipboard and pen like they were her lifelines, she looked like a character out of a horror movie as she huddled in on herself in the corner of the room. Pale cheeks and sallow skin, blood from the infected still staining her clothing as she drew dark, angry lines right across the surface of the clipboard for lack of any paper attached to it, freeing the horrors from her mind into something more tangible.

[lostbecca-blog]

@ivyholloway

Rebecca sat far removed from the rest of the people in the hospital. All around her, people reunited with friends and loved ones they had been separated from when Fall City was destroyed -- but still there was no sign of Toby. No sign of her big brother coming back for her, and it was becoming harder and harder to hope that he might still be out there looking for her. Shouldn’t he have found her by now? Shouldn’t he have been with the other groups of survivors that had already been holed up in this hospital?

Toby would have felt right at home here, she thought, but for Rebecca the dimly lit hospital halls were only a harsh reminder of the last fragment of her family, gone forever. It was only a familiar pattering that had her getting to her feet, poking her head out of the room she’d hidden herself away in -- and a smile pulled at her lips when she saw the familiar dog trotting up to her. She knelt down, patting it gently on the head and smiling wider when it licked her cheek, her eyes moving to search the halls for its owner, who surely was not far behind.

[lostbecca-blog]

Hold On || Hunter & Rebecca

@hunterjaeger

A bloodied scalpel clutched tightly in her fist, Rebecca wove her way through the dim halls of the hospital. Wide, haunted eyes searched the new faces that had arrived, taking in joyful greetings between loved ones reunited. So many eyes shone with relief, with happiness, even after facing the horde of monsters that had followed them there. 

There was blood on Rebecca’s clothing, and she had the vague recollection of an infected trying to corner her even after she’d thought she was safely in the hospital -- but she did not remember finding the weapon she clutched in her hand, did not remember how it had become splattered with blood. Nor did she care. There was only one truth she cared about as she wove her way through the bodies -- some dead, some alive -- that filled the hospital. 

Toby was not among them.  Toby was not here.

It became painfully evident the longer she searched the crowd of newcomers. Because if her brother was here, he would have found her. If her brother was still alive, he’d have come for her back at Fall City. He wouldn’t have left her to flee their house alone, with nothing but the clothes on her back. He certainly would have come for her by now, as everyone else seemed to be reuniting with those they thought they’d lost.

Rebecca was alone, and the thought hit her with such force that the scalpel she was holding clattered to the floor. She jumped at the sound, skittered away from the weapon before she remembered she had been the one to drop it. But she wasn’t sure she wanted it back, and her feet remained rooted where they were, her gaze locked on the weapon as she tried to process what she had or had not done with it.

[lostbecca-blog]

No one is alone || Jesse & Becca

[sergeanthart]

There was a moment of thought spared towards considering the young girl that stood beside him. He knew very little of her, hadn’t even seen her around the city more than once or twice that he could recall - and even then she was ever silent, always silent. Not a word had leaked from her lips since the terrified scream when she was chased by Infected. Maybe it was just who she was; silent, unassuming, small, in her head.  She lived happily in a world where noises were minimal, where voice was unnecessary. She didn’t need communication, she just needed to be in the presence of others to feel more comfortable. 

She gave a nod, confirming that he had her name right. At least he managed to get that right, otherwise it seems like she may not have been able to otherwise inform him. A part of him wondered if her silence was by choice or something else - if she had always been this way or if something (say, the apocalypse) had caused her to close in on herself. 

But she was lucky, then, to have people around that cared for her. Or to have had them, at one point. Jesse hoped that her loved ones were somewhere looking for her. In the mean time it was his responsibility to take over the care. 

He watched the motion of her hand as she touched fingers to her lips and let the hand fall forward. He recognized it as sign language, though he had never had the time to learn what they meant. The gesture, though, was accompanied with what she intended to convey, a thankfulness in the gesture and the presence. 

A nod was given in return, chewing on the inside of his lip before he leaned against the small workbench he had been standing at, turning to face her a bit more head on. “Have you slept? Hungry?” He offered, wanting to make her as comfortable as she possibly could be in this new found home of theirs. “We’ve got a few cans of soup, some plants Aiden found that are edible. Not exactly a five star meal…but better than nothing.” 

[lostbecca-blog]

Jesse answered her silent gesture of thanks with nothing more than a nod, and Rebecca was glad for it. She could only hope he was able to understand what she was trying to say, but either way – it was a welcome relief not to have to answer back, to not have to worry about figuring out a way to communicate the thoughts swirling through her head, far more complicated than any hand gestures she was capable of.

Somewhere in the back of her mind was the thought that maybe people thought her stupid. Small and mute and incapable of anything other than taking up space, taking away resources from people who could do more. Toby hadn’t thought that. Toby had needed her. But he was the only one. And now she might never see him again.

Before the grief she’d pushed away could overwhelm her once again, she forced herself to focus on Jesse’s questions, on his kind offer, but she shook her head quickly. Sleep was something she feared, for when she was asleep she was even more defenseless against her nightmares than she was when awake. And the thought of eating anything just made her stomach turn over. Maybe it was her body’s way of telling her to give up, telling her it was time to just fade away into nothing.

But there was one hole inside of her, only slightly smaller than the one Toby’s absence left behind, that Rebecca couldn’t help hoping to fill. That she didn’t think would take too much away from the survivors around her. She opened her mouth, and closed it again just as quickly when no sound came out. Then she tried again, lifting a hand and pantomiming as if she was writing across a piece of paper. A pencil. A pencil and paper, that was the only thing she needed, and she looked hopefully up at Jesse to see if he had seen anything of the sort.

[adabelcher-blog]

No cries left the newborn’s lips once she was placed on the girl’s hands. Content, resting. It seemed light radiated from both of them; innocent and pure. It was an endearing picture, one that made her smile despite how exhausted she felt. If only life could be this simple, this easy. Rebecca could be a few years younger than her, perhaps two or three separating their age but Ada still felt the need to protect her, just like the need to protect Lily and more now that she was apart from her family. She knew what it was like to feel alone and slightly lost in a crowd of strangers. Perhaps this silence that they shared, would be each other’s comfort for now. 

Ada allowed herself to relax for a moment, take in the bit of light that was left on their terrible crumbling world. Her body felt heavy, it was an odd sensation, almost as if the body didn’t belong to her. But it was mere exhaustion that she felt. Though she tried her best to not pass out and leave the girl with the newborn. It was her duty to take care of her. “I think she likes you..” 

[lostbecca-blog]

As delicately as she could Becca cradled the newborn in her arms, struck by the warmth that radiated through her as soon as she was holding the infant. Struck by the trust both Ada and her restful, unperturbed infant seemed to have placed in her, in sharing something so precious. And as she smiled at the sleeping baby, she found herself overcome by a determination to make sure that trust was not displaced. To do whatever she could to make sure this innocent, fragile new life would not become cracked and broken like she was. In this moment, her own fears, her own worries, her own loneliness were forgotten, and Rebecca felt hopeful for the first time in a long while. 

Her eyes flickered up to Ada when the older girl spoke, and Rebecca answered her words with a shy smile, reaching out a finger to gently touch the newborn’s cheek. There was still that part of her that wished she could answer Ada with her voice, but in the older girl and her child’s presence Becca did not feel the same pressure to do so. Did not feel as useless as she often did around others, and she looked back up at Ada, taking in the exhaustion that colored her features. Sleep, Becca wanted to tell her, for she would wake her the moment anything changed with the restful baby, but her voice would not obey. So instead she leaned over gently, just enough to nudge her shoulder against the older girls, and let her eyes slip closed for a few seconds once she had Ada’s attention. Then she opened them again and nodded toward Ada, trying to indicate that she should sleep and hoping she understood. 

[adabelcher-blog]

The silence was welcomed. Most like her, it seemed Rebecca preferred little to no verbal exchange and that was most than okay with her. Usually, Ada was the one to be silent; observing the other person’s mannerisms as they talked. Ada had never been keen for words, always too shy and reserved to begin a conversation at all. If anything this all felt relatively normal, comforting even, to be with a person that shared the same traits. Only a small amount of time had been spent alongside the girl, but she already felt at ease with her. She saw no harm in her, unlike some of the other ones in their group. Ada could feel as she could confide as much in the girl as she did with Ivy.

Her small gestures were quickly understood, a slight nod given to her in response; a small giggle threatening to leave her lips. But as lips curled upwards in a smile, it was all but evident that the little creature did resembled her, to her luck. Fair skin, dark hair and pink cheeks. Momentarily, she could make her forget of all the bad in the world. 

It was then that she looked at the blonde girl, that an idea came to mind. “Do you want to hold her?” Eyes were filled with gentleness, trusting the girl to hold the baby without doing any harm. “She won’t fuss, she’s asleep.” Her signature small smile spread across her lips once again, a way to tell the girl that it was okay. 

[lostbecca-blog]

Unlike most, who seemed confused if not unnerved or annoyed by Rebecca’s persistent silence, Ada seemed almost to relax into it. This girl, perhaps, was a kindred spirit. Not rendered entirely voiceless after the horrors they had all seen -- because she was stronger, because she was braver -- but quiet all the same, just as Becca had always been. Shy, reserved, but not closed off to the possibility of making new friends. And while it did little to ease the gaping hole the absence of her big brother left in her heart, it was nice all the same to feel understood. 

For Ada had caught the meaning of her wordless communication, and the tiny smile on Rebecca’s face grew slightly wider when Ada shared one of her own. It was replaced quickly, though, with surprise at the other girl’s offer. With six of them in total, every Richman kid was comfortable with babies, used to having them around. Except for Becca, for she had been the youngest of them all, and once again she found herself wondering why it was that she was the only one left. The weakest, the most useless, left behind while the rest of her family -- maybe Toby now, too -- got to be together. 

Yet Ada somehow seemed to trust her, with arguably the most precious thing left to the entire world. Becca met the other girl’s eyes, hesitant only because she feared she would do something wrong, but then she answered with a nod and a shy smile. How could she say no to holding something so innocent, so special? Unsure of herself but determined to be as careful as possible, Becca held out her arms gently to take the child from Ada. 

[itskarasykes]

RICHMAN SIBLINGS MOODBOARD [ 1 / ? ] @lostbecca​

       “Sometimes being a brother is even better than being a superhero”

[lostbecca-blog]

No one is alone || Jesse & Becca

[sergeanthart]

Fall City lay in ruin on the horizon, but they had made it out alive. Their numbers had dwindled compared to what they had once had but it was better than nothing - and if they had made it, so had others. It couldn’t just be them who had gotten out. There had to be other pockets of survivors just doing what they all knew best; surviving. 

The last thing Jesse had imagined he would be doing come early morning light was assisting a teenager (was she even older than Liam? He couldn’t even wrap his mind around what he’d have thought if Liam was having a child with someone at his age, let alone this girl’s…) give birth. In the middle of the apocalypse, in a barn that hardly seemed protected from the elements or the infected. She had made it through it and the baby seemed healthy enough, but it only reinforced the fact that they couldn’t stay here. 

Even if they had the right resources to survive, which they didn’t, they certainly didn’t have the protection they needed to continue much longer here. Besides, a screaming baby didn’t serve them any better than the screaming teenager from hours prior. They were attracting far too much attention to themselves - and it was all the wrong kinds of attention. 

After the trouble they’d gone through to survive he wasn’t about to sacrifice their safety because of a screaming child and mother. They would need to move, find somewhere safe for all of them where the Infected wouldn’t hear the crying child. 

But first they needed to know what they had, what they might need. He had limited supplies on his person - his own and Luca’s handguns with a few clips of ammo, a few extra sets of clothing, a handful of cans and jars of food to get them through a few days, among a few other odds and ends. It was a meager supply at best, enough to get them through a few days but not actually live. Not like they had been in Fall City, at least. 

He had hardly noticed the young girl approach and stand beside him, had actually been surprised when he glanced to the side to find her there, wordlessly, quietly standing at his elbow. There hadn’t been much thought when he’d picked her up in the City and brought her along with them, only the idea of getting as many people out as possible had lingered. But a part of him realized that the very act had separated ties and families - so much like his own, in a way. 

“It’s Rebecca, right?” He asked her after a brief pause, offering a gentle smile. 

[lostbecca-blog]

Jesse didn’t notice her right away, and Becca made no move to alert him to her quiet presence. If anything, she liked it better this way. Maybe, if she tried hard enough, she could make herself completely invisible. If she stood still enough, if she breathed softly enough, and then nothing could hurt her. It would be as if she’d disappeared, but it would have been her choice to do it. Would that be better or worse than if it happened on its own?

Regardless -- that wasn’t going to happen to day, because Jesse was looking down at her, offering a kind smile that she returned with no hesitation. He had taken her away from Toby, but Toby had not come for her. If she had not been carried away on Jesse’s shoulders, she would have been killed. 

Though there was a small part of her that wondered if that would have been better. If Toby was gone, if he was with the rest of their family now -- why had Becca once again been left behind? What could she possibly offer to this group of survivors who were all so much stronger than she was? What could she ever hope to be to them other than a burden?

The most she could hope for was to make her presence as unobtrusive as possible -- and try to express that she was grateful to be among these people at all. If she had to be alive, at least she was not entirely alone. 

But that was a difficult task when her voice refused to function, when she could answer his question with nothing more than a small nod. Thank you, she wanted to tell him, but recent events made her voice feel even farther gone than it had been before. So she fell back on the signs Toby had been teaching her, even though she doubted Jesse would understand. The sign for thank you was a simple one; her fingers touched to her lips, and her palm pushed forward, and even if Jesse could not understand the words she was trying to communicate, maybe he would grasp some part of the sentiment.

[aidenholmvik-deactivated2016010]

skyfall || becca/aiden

[lostbecca-blog]

Since they came to the barn, Rebecca had retreated into a corner and huddled in on herself. Trying not to think about what to happen, about how she’d lost the only people she had left and how, and trying not to think about how utterly useless she would be to the rest of the people in the barn.

She looked to the side in surprise when someone moved to sit next to her, but she relaxed when she saw who it was. Aiden. The woman wasn’t someone Becca knew well, but she had been kind and gentle so far. Helped her and the others get to the barn, puttered about seeming trying to look after everyone, and it was easy for Becca to give her trust to the woman. It was still a surprise, though, when smiled over at her with a hairbrush. A pang of longing shot through her chest, a reminder of the sisters she’d lost. Of Juli, who was always the one to help her get ready for school in the mornings alongside Toby.

They were both gone, now.

But Becca swallowed hard past the lump forming in her throat; she’d cried enough as it was, though she knew her tears were far from over. They’d dried up for now, though, and she tried to keep it that was as she answered Aiden with a small nod and a tiny smile of her own, tentatively scooting closer to her. Gentle hands combed through her hair, divided it into sections, and if Becca closed her eyes she could almost pretend it was Juli doing so. Pretend she was at home in her room instead of a barn full of strangers. But Juli wouldn’t have had to ask the question Aiden posed. Becca held out a hand and shook it slightly, trying to indicate that she liked it somewhere in the middle.

[aidenholmvik-deactivated2016010]

Another childhood that had been lost in the race for survival. They had given up everything, but perhaps that was the most precious of gifts. They had seemed to accumulate most of the younger ones in their camp, all in various stages of a lost childhood. Ivy, who was more adult than the majority of the adults, who was easily as deadly as trained women. Ada, who not hours ago had a brought another human into this life. Now, Becca. Gentle, timid, she reminded Aiden of a bird, and in that regard herself and Becca were not too different. However, Aiden rose because she was matured in a world that was civil. She had had time to blossom and grow and flourish, to be a woman when she was put to the test.

A test she was feeling more and more like she failed.

Likely the girl was feeling something that Aiden somewhat understood. While her fingers easily looped the sections of hair in a medium tension that was asked for, Aiden spoke quietly. “I like to think that we’d know if they were gone. I knew when he was gone. I could feel it in my chest, it felt like… nothing I had ever experienced. Not… pain. Just a sense of emptiness.” Her words were meant to be comforting, but had left her with a sense of sadness and a sharp pang in her chest. “I think he’s fine. He’s out there somewhere, wondering the same things about you, and someone is telling him the same exact thing. That he’d feel it too.” 

Aiden’s eyes flicked to where Jesse was standing and talking to another. This was her flock now. God had given her the good graces to let Jesse be with her. To let him still be strong, wise. Logan, Ada, Ivy, Matthew, Jasper, and Becca. They had become her flock as well as Jesse. The new woman here was still to be determined, and the easiest way to make friends with Aiden was to help in whatever way could be managed. Becca and Ada would come in handy, she knew that. Another set of eyes, experience in something, their time would come.

[lostbecca-blog]

Aiden seemed unfazed by Rebecca’s silence as she went about pulling her hair into braids, and the fifteen-year-old felt herself relaxing as much as she could under the woman’s gentle touch. For as ready as she’d thought she’d been to simply fade away, there was something comforting in the knowledge that she had not yet been forgotten; she had not yet been cast aside, deemed useless. Maybe that was just because Aiden didn’t know better, yet.

But there were some things Aiden did seem to know, and it was almost as if she’d reached inside of Rebecca’s heart and plucked out the very thing that had weighed on her mind since she heard the planes flying over Fall City. Not that Becca had been hiding her loss well, certainly not when she could rarely have been seen in the city anywhere except trailing along in her brother’s shadow. Would she know, though?

Emptiness, Aiden said. But that was how Becca felt right now. It was how she’d felt, to a certain extent, since the day her family was attacked. And now it was worse, because the last family members she had left were gone. Elijah was gone. Toby was gone. Even her sketchbook, the last, meager trace of who she had been before the Outbreak, had been left behind in the rubble of the city. Becca was nothing but an empty shell. A couple of tears slid down her cheek, but she nodded at Aiden’s reassurances all the same. The woman, too, had lost so much, and Becca’s heart went out to her. She wished she could be strong and kind and brave, too, but it was all she could manage to reach up at pat her gently on the arm.  

[lostbecca-blog]

Even before Fall City was destroyed, Rebecca had noticed the pregnant girl. It was impossible not to, when they were both so frequently in the clinic. Ada for check-ups, at least Becca assumed, and she herself because she stuck to her older brother’s side like glue, often waiting outside the clinic when he was inside working with a patient.

Not the one time it had truly mattered, though.

And now Becca was alone, and Ada had been without a doctor while she’d delivered her baby. Becca had remained hidden away in a corner of the barn, huddled in on herself and trying to drown out the screams from the girl that mixed with the screams that had echoed in her head hours after the bombs fell. She had tuned them out, finally, now that things settled, but she knew they would be back in her sleep if nothing else.

So Becca didn’t let herself sleep. She forced herself awake, tried to focus her mind on anything other than the vast emptiness that had settled on her insides. Her gaze ended up on Ada and her baby. Her apparently healthy, normal baby. It felt wildly out of place, that there should be a new life in the midst of all the destruction the night had brought, and before she knew what she doing Becca found herself getting to her feet and walking toward the resting pair soundlessly.

Just to look, just to admire the new life, but she stepped a touch too hard and Ada’s eyes were flying open. Becca breathed in a soft gasp, stopping in her tracks and biting her lip. She wanted to apologize – but speaking was too far from the possible for her to even think about attempting it right now. Instead, she took a tiny step backwards. She hadn’t come over here to be a nuisance, hadn’t wanted to disrupt anyone’s sleep, and it was with a small, apologetic smile that she silently mouthed the word, ‘sorry.’

[adabelcher-blog]

Her tense demeanor softened once blue hues caught sight of the blonde girl. While she did not know her name, she was familiar with her face. Various times she’d encountered her at the clinic. Back then, few smiles were given whenever their eyes locked. Maybe because she felt sympathy for her, both probably too young to see the horrors the world gifted to them. The smile, it lingered by her lips once again; shy but welcoming. Now that everything had fell apart, maybe it was better if they all remained together. And well, it was an opportunity to know the girl better. Maybe in the midst of the chaos she could make a friend to confide in.

“I - It’s okay..” Words came out in a soft whisper, knowing most of the others slept. She should have been doing the same, exhausted to the core. But it was impossible while she felt exposed, afraid. Any less when she knew she had to take care of the newborn in her arms, make her feel safe as well. “You can sit if you want to..” Ada mumbled, making it clear that she wasn’t bothered by the girl’s presence, if anything she was glad to have company for the time being. Which was odd, since usually she tended to avoid conversations but with the downfall of their city, a bit of comfort through company wasn’t so bad. 

If she could recall correctly, the girl before her was Tobias’ sister - one of the doctors who’d checked on her at the clinic. But Tobias, he wasn’t anywhere to be seen. That only meant one thing, the girl - she was now alone and probably missing her family. Ada couldn’t fathom thinking what it would have been to separate herself from Ivy. Though she did felt that hollow feeling within her that constantly wondered about her other friend’s whereabouts. Were they safe just like they were?

[lostbecca-blog]

The tension in the girl’s posture seemed to fall away when her eyes landed on Becca’s, but still the blonde felt guilty for disturbing her at all. Just like Ivy, Ada was so much stronger than she could ever hope to be; barely older than her own fifteen years, and Ada had made it all the way out here, suffered for hours to bring a tiny, fragile new life into the world. And still she offered a kind smile, one that had Becca stopping her steps backwards and returning it with a small twitch of her own lips.

And then Ada spoke, the first words exchanged between the pair despite the small interactions they’d shared previously. Her voice was soft, gentle in the quiet of the barn. The offer took her by surprise, if only because Ada had looked on the verge of sleep, but it felt genuine and Becca hesitated only a moment before she stepped forward carefully once more, settling on the ground next to the other teenager and her newborn.

It was impossible not to smile a little wider at the infant. Small and vulnerable, but -- here all the same, and as of yet oblivious to the horrors of the world. Becca was struck by the urge to capture this moment on pencil and paper, Ada and her little girl, and it was only then that she realized she had left her sketchbook in Fall City. She’d left everything in Fall City, carried out by Jesse with nothing but the clothes on her back. Her smile fell slightly, but Becca tried to push the sadness that was threatening to overtake her once again to the side. Offered Ada another smile and pointed between the baby and the other girl, her hand then moving to gesture in a circle around her own face. The baby looked like Ada, she was trying to say, but she wouldn’t blame the other teen if she didn’t understand her meaning.

[adabelcher-blog]

A corner of the barn had been claimed by the frail teen. One who, despite being in labor hours prior, still remained wide awake. But the exhaustion was clear on her vague stare, eyelids closing every minute or so; yearning for a little bit of sleep. The newborn in her arms wasn’t the cause of the lack of sleep, at least not for now. There had hardly been any crying, the majority of the time she slept. But the need to make sure she was safe kept Ada awake. It had only been hours since her arrival, one could only imagine how protective she would be of the child. 

But the image of their home, burning down into ashes hardly left her mind. The bombs, the infected, all the deaths it brought. It made her feel faint once again, uneasy. Ada had been lucky to encounter Logan and have the company of Ivy to get safe and sound to where she sat. Without them, her child and her would most likely be dead or worse. 

Blue hues focused on her daughter’s soft face, to momentarily forget about the destruction that they would most likely meet outside. It was the most nice of distractions, a soft gentle smile grazing her lips. It seemed so unfitting, regarding the situation but it was all she had now. Her and Ivy - they were her family. The very thought of it made her think of all the friends they had left behind. Terra, Robert, Taeil and Hunter were a few of the many she had on her mind. She could only hope they also found shelter from the dangers of the outside. 

Eyelids closed slowly, her head moving from side to side as she unintentionally drifted down to sleep. That was, of course, until she heard steps nearing her; eyes quick to know who approached her. There were some she did not know that accompanied them, and she wasn’t quite sure she trusted them.

[lostbecca-blog]

Even before Fall City was destroyed, Rebecca had noticed the pregnant girl. It was impossible not to, when they were both so frequently in the clinic. Ada for check-ups, at least Becca assumed, and she herself because she stuck to her older brother’s side like glue, often waiting outside the clinic when he was inside working with a patient.

Not the one time it had truly mattered, though.

And now Becca was alone, and Ada had been without a doctor while she’d delivered her baby. Becca had remained hidden away in a corner of the barn, huddled in on herself and trying to drown out the screams from the girl that mixed with the screams that had echoed in her head hours after the bombs fell. She had tuned them out, finally, now that things settled, but she knew they would be back in her sleep if nothing else.

So Becca didn’t let herself sleep. She forced herself awake, tried to focus her mind on anything other than the vast emptiness that had settled on her insides. Her gaze ended up on Ada and her baby. Her apparently healthy, normal baby. It felt wildly out of place, that there should be a new life in the midst of all the destruction the night had brought, and before she knew what she doing Becca found herself getting to her feet and walking toward the resting pair soundlessly.

Just to look, just to admire the new life, but she stepped a touch too hard and Ada’s eyes were flying open. Becca breathed in a soft gasp, stopping in her tracks and biting her lip. She wanted to apologize -- but speaking was too far from the possible for her to even think about attempting it right now. Instead, she took a tiny step backwards. She hadn’t come over here to be a nuisance, hadn’t wanted to disrupt anyone’s sleep, and it was with a small, apologetic smile that she silently mouthed the word, ‘sorry.’

[aidenholmvik-deactivated2016010]

skyfall || becca/aiden

( @lostbecca )

Dawn was starting to light the sky, the tendrils of orange and red snaking out into the clouds. Aiden was otherwise buzzing around for most the morning, once they had found the abandoned barn. There were things here and there, old blankets, blankets that still smelled like horses and donkeys from the months before that animals had lived here. Half a farm and half an event venue, they were cozy enough. Aiden had tried to make everyone in their group comfortable, far too anxious to sleep and worried. They had enough food for a few days between them, and Aiden had been cutting meals for months now. 

Finally sitting down and rummaging through her bag, she fished out a few hair bands and a comb and smiled at the young girl, Rebecca Richman. She was Tobias sister, and a tiny thing. “May I see your hair? I could get it out of your face.” Aiden’s own hair was either down or pulled into a fishtail braid, the whisps framing her face in a messy and unkempt way. The elder blonde had looked more and more like a wreck lately, a sharp contrast from the togetherness she had in Seattle.

As she girl scooted closer to her, Aiden carefully combed the tangles away from her hair, starting at the bottom with gentle hands. Deft finger began to part and section off braids for her, pulling her hair into two fishtail pigtails. Aiden’s own mother used to braid her hair when she was a child, usually fixing it before her performances or recitals. Aiden, Aiden–the teenager who was in so many clubs it made other kids seem like slackers, even in her private school that groomed them all for success early on. 

“Do you like it looser or tighter?”

[lostbecca-blog]

Since they came to the barn, Rebecca had retreated into a corner and huddled in on herself. Trying not to think about what to happen, about how she’d lost the only people she had left and how, and trying not to think about how utterly useless she would be to the rest of the people in the barn.

She looked to the side in surprise when someone moved to sit next to her, but she relaxed when she saw who it was. Aiden. The woman wasn’t someone Becca knew well, but she had been kind and gentle so far. Helped her and the others get to the barn, puttered about seeming trying to look after everyone, and it was easy for Becca to give her trust to the woman. It was still a surprise, though, when smiled over at her with a hairbrush. A pang of longing shot through her chest, a reminder of the sisters she’d lost. Of Juli, who was always the one to help her get ready for school in the mornings alongside Toby.

They were both gone, now.

But Becca swallowed hard past the lump forming in her throat; she’d cried enough as it was, though she knew her tears were far from over. They’d dried up for now, though, and she tried to keep it that was as she answered Aiden with a small nod and a tiny smile of her own, tentatively scooting closer to her. Gentle hands combed through her hair, divided it into sections, and if Becca closed her eyes she could almost pretend it was Juli doing so. Pretend she was at home in her room instead of a barn full of strangers. But Juli wouldn’t have had to ask the question Aiden posed. Becca held out a hand and shook it slightly, trying to indicate that she liked it somewhere in the middle.

[lostbecca-blog]

No one is alone || Jesse & Becca

@sergeanthart

The screams ringing in Rebecca’s ears hadn’t stopped even after they found relative safety, and it was hard to separate those that were echoes from those that were real, the screams of agony from the girl not much older than she was giving birth at the other side of the barn.

As soon as they’d reached it, as soon as Jesse had established it was safe and the other girl’s condition had worsened, Rebecca hid herself a way in a far corner of the barn. Legs pressed against her chest, eyes shut tight, hands over her ears as if she could tune out the screaming, too much of which seemed to be in her own head. 

It was hours, maybe, before it subsided, but it felt like months. And when it did, when Becca could finally hear her own thoughts, she was struck with an overwhelming sense of emptiness.

Toby had not come for her, and there was only one reason she could fathom that he wouldn’t have. 

She was alone. Really and truly alone. 

And once again she was struck by the fact that maybe she would just fade away. If she just stayed rooted to this spot, like she’d sat in her basement all those months ago, she would eventually just disappear, because this time Toby would not be coming back for her. She already felt as though she’d been hollowed out, like there was nothing left inside of her anymore.

But this time she wasn’t completely alone. Several other people surrounded her, strangers outnumbering the vaguely familiar faces. Ivy, who had proven once again to be so much braver and stronger than Becca could ever be. Aiden, who had helped her and Jesse and the man they’d found get here. And Jesse, who had carried her out of the city. Away from Toby, maybe, but toward a safety she never would have reached on her own.

So it was him who she sought out after her legs started to cramp up from sitting huddled as she’d been for so long. Stepping quietly behind him and stopping at his elbow, wordless, but feeling safer all the same. Like she could hide in his shadow the way she often did in Toby’s.