You'reVeryLucky

The random thoughts of a middle class youth bird d

[lostinencryption]

Sand through my fingers Slips cool and smooth, Your scent still lingers, My hands clench as I lose.

Your eyes don’t lift to look, as brightly into mine, I can’t believe it took, So little of our time.

For you to get pushed away, I tried to hold my tongue, But you hurt me, I had to say, The bell never heard was rung.

Pulling back as I wipe my tears, I gave you so much love, I gave you many years, You fit me like a glove.

You’re still here at my side, But a ghost, a haunting, Shadow of your former pride, Future, looming, daunting.

You left me, standing alone, No one to hold, no where to go, There he was, an unknown, There with a glow.

I’m so sorry my love, I’m broken in half How can I tell you My horrid past.

I am not worthy, of your time. I’m broken, leave me behind.

[lostinencryption]

Stay my dear, Please for a while. I can’t bear you to leave, Just lie here with me.

Look at me my darling, I love your eyes, And the way your smile Twists with surprise.

Touch me my lovely, Just hold me close, Can’t leave right now That'll hurt the most.

Speak to me sweetie, Your voice is my cloud, I float, happy as can be Listening to your sound.

Love me my human, Up in our tree, Leave for yourself But come back for me.

[lostinencryption]

I had this dream today. 

It was christmas, and I held you in my arms, my arms could touch you, and your hands were so small and your smile was so cheeky. You smiled at me and people kept on trying to take you away. My little love. Your dad had left us be, but my new man was your dad. He held you like a snowflake as he walked off with you. I screamed and I shouted and everyone I loved held me back and shushed me. I quieted, but I watched you, you were so clumsy and graceful, so tiny and big. Like my whole heart both exploded and healed and the same time. To look at you was to look at life. I could feel myself being pulled from this life that I was convinced was real. I dug my nails into it and tried to hold on. When I woke I remembered I would never hold you. I remembered my man would never know you, I remembered what I did, what I thought I was doing for you. 

When I woke, I was torn from you. When I woke, I laid down and cried. Because my life with you was a thousand times better, simply because of your smile. 

[lostinencryption]

I am the rubble of yesterday’s mistake, The potential, the promise so great.

I am the seed from which oak trees grow, One of hundreds that they sow.

You are the star that lights my sky, My reason to be, my why.

I see you not now, not even then, All I know is the fact, not the when.

You will be my life long love, And my getting to you will be so tough,

It will be passion, anger and disgrace, But my eyes will stream when I see your face.

I have longed for you since the day I was born, To your well being, my heart was sworn.

You are not a lover, a friend, a foe, You are my child, only this I know.

There will be no other in my world, Your soul, around which I’m curled

I can hear you, crying in the dark, Each unshed tear a stab to my heart.

For though I love you with each strangled breath, Before I could give you life, my body gave you death.

I know not your touch, your soft embrace, But at every though, my heart does race.

I am sorry, my little lost lamb, I cannot help you, my body I damn.

The saddest thing to ever say, Is there was a child lost today.

[lostinencryption]

I hold your hand and you’re holding a ghost, You speak your dreams to my ear, What it is that you crave most, You wish for her while you’re here.

She calls and you pretend not to care, But why does she still rely? I can see her fingers in your hair, Pulling you to please reply.

She smiled when she shook my hand knowing I was a bandaid for your heart, Greeted my heartbreak as a house built on sand, Doomed to fail before the start.

You compare my curves to her beauty, My voice to her soft caress, I can’t live like this you see, Holding your tears to my breast.

You protect her every gesture, Poisoning me with that bubble wrap. You love her more, I cannot best her, Now I’m the weakling, I’m the sap

I stop, I gaze, I say goodbye, Every time I go back home, My sweet nothings sound like a sigh, My wishes, compared to hers, count for none.