Itâs really hard to figure out what I need when I just get frustrated talking to you. And I think wiser people would advise me to take space (which I am) away from the situation and come at it with a clearer mind and a more loving heart.Â
But I hate space so much. I want to be with you and I want to be able to support you. I want to be that pillar of support. But in doing so, I just get so frustrated and angry and the pit of my stomach wants to strangle you. So I guess weâre going with the space thing.Â
So the things I suspect I want right now, that Iâm more or less convinced youâre unable to provide (but since it might not even be the case that these are things i need/things that would help me, it doesnât seem fair or appropriate to ask you for it as youâre so busy.):Â
1. I think I need you to TELL me you need me. That you need my support. That you need someone to complain to, that you need someone to be understanding and loving and just there. I think I need you to tell me you need to talk to me, on the condition that I have to act as lovingly as I possibly can. I really just want you to make me feel like you need me.
2. I think Iâm being pushed away, and I think thatâs making me push you away more than I would have originally wanted. And I think a good compromise to this is just to talk for a little bit relatively soon, but I know Iâm too petty for this. Iâm pretty spiteful and Iâm gonna commit to this really dumb idea of pushing you away until I inevitably explode. So, honestly. You just need to be like:Â âCan you stop.â Because Iâm not all too sure I should. So if *youâre* the one who tells me, i can be convinced.Â
3. For now, and only for a little bit until I regain my composure, I need to stop feeling like Iâm working hard in this relationship. I need to stop feeling like itâs hopeless, and itâs hard, and Iâm putting too much effort for nothing. So. I want/need loving words that make me feel like youâre the one putting in effort. I want you to tell me you love me, and that you need me, and that Iâm oh-so-important. Just. Words of affirmation. Words of love. Sweet nothings would work too. Just something.Â