Been thinking about the Pipis scene in chapter 3 and just the sheer amount of body dysmorphia Spamton must have gotten from it.
Love him or hate him, it's hard to miss his desire to rid of his past self, at first distancing himself from the Addison title while also wishing for a more capable and powerful body, via Neo. And it makes a lot of sense: he was never wanted for what he truly was.
As an Addison, he had no sales, people ignored him or threw him away and as his puppet self...well, that's self explanatory. Everyone flocked to better, more interesting versions of Addisons rather than him. So imagine living like this your whole life, only getting the spotlight because you made a god damn Divine Deal, faking your success and your persona and then falling even lower than what you started as, in the end. Neo felt like freedom to him because abandoning his old life, his old self, meant being someone for once, even if it stung that it took changing literally everything about him for people to notice him.
Hell, we know he hates himself! At the very least his puppet body, from how he ends the Neo fight outside of snowgrave. He offers his help, but not as himself, as an ally in combat, but as a fucking object! Believing he is only worth something when he isn't even able to move, talk, anything!!!
Now, back to the TV World scene. By that point, Tenna's biggest secret (from his perspective), was revealed to the audience, and in his mind, that is his lowest low yet. To the point he begs to see the one man he had come to hate most. But he doesn't want just anyone: he doesn't beg for the on-stage Spamton, or the glasses that Spam turns into, not even Neo (not that he knew of that) but he begs for a little mailman. For all we know, this is the first time in a long while that someone wanted Spamton for BEING Spamton, and not just for what he can offer them in return. And Spamton SAW that, and he believed Tenna, for a split second, deciding to show his now normal self to him, in order to aid his former co-star. And what did Tenna do? Called him a rat. Sprayed him with foam and ran away. Imagine hating yourself so much, yet still making the active choice to be there for someone you used to care about, still care about, yet they throw you away like trash, just how everyone else did. Knowing all of this, it makes more sense to me as to why Spam said he wouldn't do that ever again.
This isn't supposed to make Spamton look more "innocent", fucker is hella guilty in what happened to him and what his life turned into, but this is just an observation on his own view of himself, especially after chapter 3.
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