[redstonedust]

people saying my evil clone would be called greenstonedust but you have failed to consider that 'evil' and 'opposite' are not the same. we all have capacity for evil and thus my opposite self would not be evil, they would be as complex and flawed as i am, just in ways that contrast my own flaws. my EVIL clone would be called shadowkiller666dust the fallen angel of blogging. and they would be cool as fuccckkkkkkkk.

[grimeclown]

I got a job at a gas station across from a casino and a guy keeps coming in to buy whole cartons of cigarettes and talks in the third person calling himself "snake eyes pete" and every time I tell him his total hes like "tell ya what if old Pete rolls a snake eyes why dont you give it to him for free?" and he rolls the same set of loaded dice on the counter and it does not matter how many times he rolls snake eyes I will not give him the cartons for free he gets so mad

[kosmogrl]

[64mpg]

accusing people of lying for clout on this website is so funny this is literally the most useless platform to be popular on. the only reward is hate mail

[redrosesinblue]

[dct239394cvvd098dffgggp]

:D

[cryptile]

Something my dear friend said to me that i think fits

[andhetakesandhetakesandhetakes]

going for long walks alone is probably the closest thing we have to a cure for the human condition

[i-fuck-audis]

MY FUCKING CAR

[iwannabeaswampwitch]

Lots of drama in our household

[thisshitaintnothintomeman]

im moving arbitrarily. im just doing shit

[creepycrag]

If you remember being a teenager you're a creep because you straight up saw yourself naked back then. The only way to be righteous is to obliterate your mind with drugs until you can't remember anything

[swadloom]

STOP saying the otherworldly powers are corrupting my mind godddddd. You literally wish you were us. I mean us. I mean me.

[hometoursandotherstuff]

Parking garage sign.

[magicalnursekomugi]

[itsbasil]

[the-quasar-hero]

We all got that one mutual that be going through the most treacherous situations a person could endure and then posting a few minutes later about why such and such should get fucked through a concrete wall.

[the-quasar-hero]

Mutual: my situationship partner just got caught in a tornado at a broken glass factory where they were cheating on me with my landlord who just increased my rent by 6000% and my pet marmot has a disease so rare they’re naming it after him and all my bones are becoming apricot jelly which I’m allergic to.

Same mutual 16 minutes later: Do you think Ronald McDonald and the Burger King ever explored each other’s bodies?

[throo]

Wh-what do you mean it’s from a birthday cake

[throo]

We could have been eating him

[berdyayeva]

being an executioner used to be an inherited job. imagine dealing with teen angst and also job shadowing your dad the town’s torturer