Letters to nowhere

It is a simple devotion to all my loved ones far away from me...

[lostletterstonowhere]

Have you ever stopped to look at yourself and couldn't recognize yourself or what you've become? a. physically and mentally? (i know you have, oh please everybody does) b. or how you are looking, even though you hadn't had any haircut? And then it comes: "How many faces do I have? How many me's in just this body?" I guess it is Jung, who says in order to protect him/herself against the reality (the phenomena which is pretty questionable itself) a person would create personalities within oneself.   Have you noticed your own reaction and personality change event in different friend groups? So the question is how to deal with all your selves in one you? Are they happy with all other 'you's? How often do you look at 'yourselves'? How often are you at peace, at ease with them?

August 3rd, 2020

Photos : Xirdalan II February’20

[lostletterstonowhere]

There is a thin line between admiration and love. Both of them lightens up your soul, inspires you for new beginnings and makes you to fall in love with life itself. Nevertheless when love happens to you even the memory of that beloved person fills you up with gratitude just for the existence of your beloved one (at least in the beginning). You feel all that sunshine, even in it's absence, and you, yourself shine from inside out. However admiration (which is valid for love too) puts you in a state when the inspiring bless surrounds all your being without any action from your part to reach and make it yours, without any necessity and erge to include the source of admiration in your life. The object of love on the other hand never leaves your mind as long as you decide to exclude (ot always voluntarily) that sub(ob)ject of love from your life. Fo not confuse it with the habit (to some extend a slight addiction) to that love object of yours, when actual "pure feeling" leaves it place to desire of appropriation and become something more or less toxic. Though you'd still miss the simple 'being around', at the moment of demanding or making the desired one your property is the beginning of the alienation, hense objectification the subject to whom you were attracted once. In other words it is the beginning of addiction, of an ending of love. Another thing about love is it's power to enlarge the capacity of your readiness to compromise  your comfort, your give it up for the beloved one. Beside as compromise is an conscious decision of yours to put someone else's (other that yours) happiness over yours, to give up on your ego, you can't fake it.

And then it comes nostalgia, a love from lost, unlived within your actual life but experienced somewhere in paralel universe. 

Nostalgia is a big phenomenon, that can turn upside down your being. So, to find something/somebody from your past will enlarge it's value for you. To fell in and feel pure love, regardless your maybe (not so good) previous experiences. Then what happens, when you meet a soul seemingly once you've lost from your life, but actually you've never met before?

Do you have enough courage to love like for the first time ? 

August 18th’20

Video : Xirdalan : February’20

Music : Vendredi sur mer - Les Filles Désir

[lostletterstonowhere]

Have you ever thought about the pain? What is the pain of other? How do you react when you've done everything you could and the pain doesn't get better or do not disappear. Yes, everyone has problems and this is true considering the fact that we mostly compete in "who's life sucks more?" in real life. But have you ever tried to understand, to look and think as close as possible to the pain experienced in front of your eyes? Isn't empathy the most hypocrite thing/feeling ever? Yes maybe you try to understand and yet you fell superior to the other, because don't have the same problem, what gives you superiority and your "I feel you, man" is just a little unharmful lie to satisfy your inner being with "I am a good person, no?" Levinas posses this phonemenon in a different way (as I recall it). According to him you'll never been able to understand the other, unless you do not experience life as s/he does under your skin. Only in case of having same traumas, responsibilities and life experience that the other have you could understand him as you upon experiencing any type of feeling you recall experiencing it before and deal with the new one experienced in that vey moment. Now, could you tell you are doing good empathising with the other? Could you feel pain of the other?

August 5, 2020

**This is Mamed, his house isn't supposed to be renovated (for now, hope this place won't collapse before renovation) instead he tides up his place every morning as the building cracks every time when train passes nearby. 

Photos : Sabuncu II June’20

[lostletterstonowhere]

I was searching for the market and asian version of spices not far from Qara Qarayev, district close to industrial site of Baku. Then my sight was caught by this empty bakery. At first i didn't see her. But then, she, in her 50s, i guess, was there all tired. She'd the tiredness of a worker, the sadness of a person, probably a woman working to support home, son and sometimes even husband. She saw me too. I smiled, waved. She waved back with kindness in her eyes. I was shy. I just kept searching for the supermarket. On the way back I returned to the bakery to shoot her. She was there, head on the hands, eyes closed, resting. 

Neftciler-Qarayev, Baku II May'20 ©