@lostlowlander

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@lostlowlander
@lostlowlander
@northmor why do not reblog when i have tagged the wettest cat detective alive :( i thought you loved me
Hot take but I think people need to consider exactly why they headcanon Hammer of Fable 2 fame as a lesbian outside of “she’s buff and tall”. Not arguing that its a fun headcanon but I think maybe it starts crossing into homophobia if that’s the only reason you have
i call this the headcanon chart. see my vision
elaboration
if I may:
You will have a better time
May my followers forgive me for my dumb jokes XDDDD
@lostlowlander
“the fandom has decided - ” “everyone agrees that - ” “we all know that this is the only right way to - ”
we really don’t give Star Trek: Enterprise enough credit for all its heavy lifting connecting Star Trek lore. andorians are FOUNDING MEMBERS of the whole damn Federation and we don’t know hardly anything about them until ENT. and we’ve heard about Surak before a few times but never actually learn about his teachings in detail until ENT. not to mention ENT finally pushes back on the “whole planet of aliens is culturally homogenous” trope by creating different cultures of Vulcans. we only ever see a few Orions before the crew stumbles into them. the ship has no shields, can barely make Warp 5, and routinely gets its ass kicked but the crew is like “yeah we’ll take these dinky phase pistols and hazardous transporters and save earth” and by god they do it. we could never have Kirk or Picard without Archer.
When you view Heroism as an allegory for queerness everything becomes... gayer? Makes more sense? Becomes better.
Like-I just thought about this while making an edit of Reaver to "No one's son" by Mad Tsai.
Heroes were hated and looked down on during a period of time. Reaver probably lived through that era, and I'm so sorry but you cannot say "this is just about heroes". Reaver is the oldest man in Albion, openly pansexual, and a hero. Like-... this can so easily be read as your older uncle who's had to live closeted because back then homosexuality wasn't accepted.
And another element that reinforces that theory is literally that all heroes are queer-coded. First of, HoO lives hidden away from people with only a small community of people like him. He also doesn't speak to people.
Then you have Theresa who he looks for but who is also in her own small community away from people, and that community happens to be a gang (aka punks OR, considering the fact that they are mercenaries, we can also take a homophobic pov which would make sense for what I'm about to say which would be the stereotype that queer kids are influenced by "bad people") and she chose the gang over her brother for years, so it really gives off "Older lesbian sister who ran away from home to join a gang of other gay people because her countryside village wasn't accepting". Theresa is also the most mysterious secretive person in Albion and then she literally leaves to study on the other side of the world and she remains alone there. She also, somehow always ends up having to take care of kids/teens and guide them (Sparrow, hobw, Gabriel) while not having kids of her own (aka older lesbian guiding questioning kids).
In Fable 2 Sparrow can be queer to depending on the player's choice but I feel like even in the canon she wouldn't be cishet. She lives with Theresa in the dwelling camp, so with another minority who becomes her own community and small found family. She is also referred to as Lionheart I believe which is a direct ref to Richard of Lionheart aka THE gay king of England.
Meantime Hammer is a fucking muscular monk and we know how deeply religious imagery is used to show a character is gay because religious guilt is angsty and we like angst. Plus there is the whole thing of if you become religious in most orders you need to make a chastity vow which is a great excuse for a lesbian not to marry a man in a heteronormative society (this whole religious thing can be used for Theresa as well). Then the fact that Hammer is muscular can be perceived as her being butch even though I think she is fem, but again we're just talking about she can be read as queer-coded.
Garth lives alone, talks about his family yet we never see them, so it could be like a gay man talking about his husband but saying "partner". And then Reaver, again, openly pansexual.
In Fable 3 the Hobw is also queer or not depending on the player but I think that it's important to note that El is never referred to as their lover which-again... Could mean they're just bestfriends. And once El is "killed" or threatened, Hobw's only cover-up as straight disappears. So what do they do? THEY RUN AWAY FROM THE CASTLE WITH A MAN WITH ONE EARRING AND A BUTLER WITH MANNERISMS WHO ARE BORDERLINE FLIRTING TOGETHER.
Logan is not a confirmed hero but there are hints he is too, and let's be real this guy isn't cishet. He is a grown-up adult, king, who isn't married and has no child. This is a very rare find in History. We talked about Lionheart btw, and Lionheart never married nor had any child, LIKE LOGAN. And Lionheart is still mentioned in Fable 3. Also as someone once said "his castle is purple and he can't sit straight". And purple is literally the colour of queer people.
So yeah... Heroism being about abilities? Yeah... But also about something else.
Would have said tl;dr but I (unfortunately for me) did read and... "Butler with mannerisms" was when I felt my soul leave. I've actually had it to the high ceiling with how years without new matieral has rotted people who can't even be arsed to replay the games it seems. And you happen to be in direct firing range, so I pre-emptively apologise. I'll also add, you can't seem to decide whether this is an interpretation or a theory but to my mind it's just a total misread and pure headcanon. Which is fine but don't pretend to theorise and wax lyrical when that's all it is. It invites breakdowns. With that: Tl;dr as I did go off on one - attaching "queer coding" to a story is a fine headcanon but when the evidence is flimsy for a theory, just say you made it all tf up. Headcanons are fine. But sometimes a spade is a spade and Occam's razor is more of a saw.
Let's start with Reaver indeed. And by extension, the period of time in which he grew up. Heroes were not "looked down upon", they were hunted and killed. The Hero's Guild was stormed, lain siege, by the local peasantry. Because, as is in-game, the godlike people who can summon fire and the undead (who are ALSO the size of giants and could move faster than you could blink) were tyrants and ruling over the population. Heroes were extorting the populace, lazily feasting on the spoils they took by force and refusing to help the people with actual problems. It's also implied that the people won thanks to the invention of the firearm. Theresa gives a short insight on the night the Guild fell in Fable 2 and it is elaborated on in books and the loading screens. But that would require having actually played the second game at some point in the last 18 years. I'm not sure anyone is besieging a modern gay bar because the occupants were villains that were terrorising the other locals with their magic powers. But on that note, you mentioning Reaver's open sexuality sort of crushes this "interpretation" because... Everyone knows. Part of the magic of Fable is how nobody cares who you're fucking or marrying (also an important distinction considering Fable TLC was basically one of the first games to feature gay marriage at all) but NOBODY in Albion knows Reaver is a Hero 'til Fable 2. It's actually a crucial plot point. ((Side note: gay uncle, yeah? Who also sacrificed his entire family & village and salted the earth of his home to a power from the dark because he was afraid of dying? That's an in-story event that can possibly be connected to the illegality of Heroes. -_-))
Ok next up, the Hero of Oakvale. I'm struggling to see how he was "hidden away" in the Guild or that the Guild was hidden either. Because, and this is IN-GAME, it's a pretty open enclave in both architechture and the ability of the student body to come and go. Merchants and pilgrims show up pretty often. I'd add in the definition of "guild" but you clearly take issue with definitions of words, as shown in your next paragraph. In the tutorial section you don't leave the compound, sure, but where else is an orphan supposed to go? Also, muteness does not indicate queerness. I can't believe that's a setence I just wrote. It can indicate trauma. And I think watching bandits (important word) murder your father and entire (actual) community could qualify.
Theresa. Skipping the "small comunity" bit.... Did you just compare bandits... to punk gangs? BANDITS??? They are thieves, robbers, murderers. Bandits plunder and loot and do anything to get it. They ARE bad people!! Irl and in-game, I'm not sure how you could miss that they are. (They are also not mercenaries). Twinblade is not a good man and many people (not incl. myself) have in fact read a possiblity of sexual assault into his relationship with Theresa. If you're dismissing either of these very real groups (mercenaries and brigands) to make a point about "running off with a punk gang" then I've got news about the actions of real world gangs that still roam today. She also purposely raised Little Sparrow as a sacrificial lamb. You may headcanon whatever onto their relationship as it is left open ended but there is no mincing around that she directed Rose to her death and then raised her sibling purely to obtain the Spire. If any love was there is up to actual interpretation but her prior purposes for taking in children were anything but noble.
You gendered the Hero of Bower Lake. :) You do know they are gender selectable (as much as people here pretend otherwise) and there is a potion to change gender in-game... right? Lionheart is also a reference to the game developer company. Lionhead Studios. Hammer's sexuality is not known. Her muscular frame is also to denote her as a Hero who has many points in Strength. There's a lot of stereotyping in saying a muscular woman must be gay btw. Hammer was also raised by the Abbott at the temple and there are no mention of any vows of chastity, but vows of pacifism. Vows which Theresa makes her break. Any allegory to that? Garth never mentions family, afair. He mentions his home of Samarkand and wishes to return which, after twenty years in Albion, is no wonder. He is also the archetype of a wandering scholar. We are not told his sexuality in-game. It's also up for headcanon. And again, Reaver - openly sleeps with anybody. And the in-game society doesn't care. Allegory makes no sense.
But you're right, Elliot/Elise is never referred to as the Fable 3 Hero's lover. Doesn't change the fact that Elliot/Elise is clearly in love with the Hero no matter what because if they live, they are willing to leave their rebound fiance to be with said Hero. This is a stop point anyway if they live as there is also never a clear mention of Elliot/Elise being a beard for the Hero - any prior romance is dependant on whether you marry them or not. (Voice lines after marriage will make mention of sneaking to the Hero's room). A man wearing an earring doesn't make him queer coded. Nor does Jasper being a noble dandy - sorry, having "mannerisms". Whatever you think that means... Would love an elaboration though I fear for exactly what territory you'll dip into. -_-
Logan not being a confirmed Hero and the Hero PC's gauntlet retcons are just part of why I personally despise Fable 3. But now we're using real world history to look at why Logan is an unwed, non-issued king? Right after the banditry comments? I'll also then retort with how old do you think Logan is? That part is also never confirmed but given the probable age of the Hero PC is likely around 20, Logan can be anywhere from 22 to 30. You'll notice that the Hero PC isn't married either. Mentioning "Lionheart" here is kind of strange because I cannot tell genuinely if you're referring to the Fable 2 protagonist or Richard I of England… In the case of the Hero of Bower Lake, they did presumably marry at some point as a second tomb is present in the mausoleum. Also my Fable 2 PC had three kids that aren't present or mentioned in game, all that says is that the devs did not think too hard about importing player choice. Richard I also died relatively young at 41 from dysentry and spent most of his reign at war. Marriage would have been a problem even if he wasn't likely gay (because you cannot for certain label historical figures who are not present to explain themselves or make use of present terms). ((Now what does slouching in the throne and banners being purple have to do with the coding? Apart from the fact that purple is the colour of royalty and the devs not understanding how banners work?))
And that's it. :)
…my sparrow… as an offering
tony's chocolonely mildly pisses me off every time i eat it. like yeah i get it ur doing a whole symbolism thing about unfairness and whatever, but its actually SO DIFFICULT to eat fucking. gerrymandered chocolate. your symbolism is ruining my chocolate experience.
who approved this.
like. ur already more expensive. i understand this. i am willing to pay more money to have slave-free delicious chocolate. why must you punish me further by making it a goddamn puzzle to break a piece off.
i've got the kind of eyebags that make people in movies say 'you look like hell, detective. go home.'
my dad (Maori) works on a ship with all Maori/Tongan/Samoan fisherman- and one Aussie guy called Jake.
And that wasn't done on purpose just sort of how it ended up, but Jake recently got an injury so they put him on a Different boat just for a little bit (a sit in the wheelhouse and scout type of boat, instead of the main fishing one) and he only got back to my dad's ship today and he was apparently like Shaking. He was Traumatised.
Dad said Jake kept pulling him aside and going "They were all yelling on there, but in a MEAN way" "They didn't clean... Like at ALL"
Jake experienced what a boat full of old school Aussie fisherman is like. That is the norm Jake. You just happened to be on the all Island boy boat on your first go out. "It was time for dinner and they had FROZEN nuggets" Jake that's what they have on ships that are out at sea for months at a time.
On my dad's boat they are eating fresh fish and coconut milk Ceviche. They're grilling steaks on an open bbq on the deck that probably is not regulation. All the guys have their own special knives to prepare sashimi every couple days. Everyone is happily doing their own work so they can clock out early and set up a movie on the deck. Jake did you genuinely believe that's what every boat was doing.
Local Australian man is fed fresh juices and smoked fish for first time- refuses to go back to beef jerky boat life
jake that first night when they served a freezer tray tv dinner and not an overflowing plate of fish that's probably going for conservatively like $40-$80 bucks a kilo but the guys decided Eh we'll catch more let's just fry it up:
i want to ensure that noone ever calls me a liar on the internet and want to confirm that island boy dinner is very real and it's waiting for you
Next up someone is going to claim that the Narnia series isn't kids books.
Kids books is probably not the best way to word it, you can enjoy them at every age, including your childhood, as you get older you may find new truths in them, but they're still good for any age.
I want you to understand this. I NEED you to understand this. My mother read me the hobbit as bedtime story, and I started pushing myself to read before pre-school so I could in fact read the hobbit for myself instead of having to wait for bedtime.
I didn't do so right away but jesus wept I PUSHED myself to learn to read SPECIFICALLY so I could read The Hobbit! It is, in fact, a children's story! And children only see page count as 'there is a lot of this fun story to read!'
🔁lovefändel🎸follow
🔁rightintomyheart 💗🎼
How much of this shit do I have to learn from tumblr dot com what do you MEAN Love Händel is just??? Coming back?
🔁wannahavefunfunfun👩🎤follow
Op casually leaving out that the entire thing has been organized by Lindana’s children
🔁lovefandël 🎸follow
HUH?
🔁rightintomyheart💗🎼follow
Just to clarify you mean like. THE Lindana. As in the pop star from the 80s.
🔁wannahavefunfunfun👩🎤🎼follow
I do! Bobbi (who has been running a hair salon since the band’s breakup) updated the website saying he’ll be out for a reunion concert. And that he was convinced after speaking with two kids—Phineas and Ferb Flynn-Fletcher, who want them to come back to perform at their mother, Linda’s anniversary.
🔁martysmusicalblenderthemusical🐰follow
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Ohhh so nepotism 🙄
🔁Danny 🎸✌️follow
No, not nepotism. You guys don’t get to hate on these kids, they’re super cool. They came into my shop & asked me to perform for their parents. They made no mention of their mom being Lindana. We’re literally prepping for the concert right now and I just learned this from tumblr. Had to fact check it with Bobbi. Point is, at no point did they try to leverage their mom’s fame. They genuinely just wanted to do something sweet for their parents. I doubt they even thought to try and use their mother’s status. They simply explained how passionate their parents were about the band.
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DANNY?
🔁lovefändel 🎸follow
Ok so tonight we have learned:
Love Handel is coming back
Lindana’s children asked them to come back
Lindana’s kids apparently don’t even realize the implications of their mom having previously been famous
Danny of Love Handël uses tumblr
Danny ALSO is getting his news from tumblr
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#also I did some digging #and like #her kids also wrote gitchee gitchee goo??!! #but then just #never did music again #and again did Not mention their mom
HELLO??
so I just watched the odyssey movie....
and I made this within 5 minutes of returning. so I think that sums up my thoughts on it. (though im willing to rant more if ppl want it. cause I have COMPLAINTS)