moved to voidcrypt.

[lostmymindstilinski]

thebamfblueelf.

[text Stiles] No it will not be the same.

[text Stiles] You hurt me Stiles, but I could never hurt you like that simply out of spite. I do not have that in me.

[text Stiles] I couldn’t get it up Stiles, people tried to get me to move on and I couldn’t

[text Stiles] I couldn’t move on from you because you just left, we did not break up and to me it still felt wrong, like I was cheating on you and all I could think was how much I wanted you

[text Stiles] Not them

[text Stiles] I love you Stiles

[text Stiles] For better or worse, it is not always after marriage that one feels that.

( sms: kurt ): sometimes i wish you were like that. ( sms: kurt ): sometimes i wish you’d hurt me in some way. even if it is during sex. ( sms: kurt ): i wouldn’t have blamed you if you did move on. i want you happy & if someone else made you happy i would’ve stood aside. ( sms: kurt ): no matter how much it hurt. ( sms: kurt ): i love you, too. more than i could ever express in words. 

[lostmymindstilinski]

thebamfblueelf.

[text Stiles] If we want this to work we do Stiles. We can not go back to what we were. But we can try to rebuild.

[text Stiles] well call it my lack of wanting to make this just about how you make me physically feel.

[text Stiles] God knows someone else tried to get me up and going and let’s just say very rarely do I not give someone attractive a standing ovation when they are naked and teasing.

[text Stiles] I do not want to hurt you.

( sms: kurt ): i’d like that. i know things won’t ever be the same but i’d like to see what we can be. ( sms: kurt ): which is even more why i’m surprised about how gentle you were. ( sms: kurt ): i was expecting you to be somewhat rough. ( sms: kurt ): maybe make it hurt a little. in some way like i hurt you. ( sms: kurt ): i would’ve been fine if you did. 

[lostmymindstilinski]

arrowsandradiation.

Clint let out a soft sigh, the feeling of Stiles’ fingers against his jeans made him shiver in anticipation, and he smirked as he closed his eyes, fingertips slowly following the younger man’s spine, all the way down to where it stopped, but where he could feel his ass under his fingertips, giving it a light squeeze. “Mm.. Maybe we should move this to the bedroom, before we end up here in the hallway…” he offered, leaning down to meet Stiles’ lips, catching them in a deep, almost hungry kiss, wanting him to feel what he felt, to know that he was definitely up for this. What better way to reunite with his husband, anyways?

sometimes stiles couldn’t believe clint was his. that the kid he’d met in summer camp had transformed into the very man before him -------- into this superhero that went around saving the world. protecting millions from threats many men would cower away from --------- with just a bow & arrow in his hands. his clint did that. his clint was a hero. his clint was one of the bravest men he knew. he’d never grow tired of boasting about his husband. never stop being awed by what exactly his husband could do. what he was capable of. he rose to every challenge set out for him. despite how impossible the task was. he conquered & when he didn’t, he still did his damn best to do so. because he cared just that much about the people around him.

& stiles has been fortunate enough to be able to observe these moments up close & personal. to be by his side step for step. even during the times he couldn’t actually be by his side. he still remembers the days they struggled to make it through the week. the bills piling up. a newborn crying. they needed so much yet could barely afford what they already had. sometimes stiles would wondered if they’d ever get through the stage of being two teengers playing house, working their fingers to the bones to give their son stability. the sleepless nights that came with being new parents. he remembers the day they got married. he remembers their honeymoon was them & ben feeding ducks in the park. they didn’t get wedding bands until years later when they finally scraped enough money up. the homestead came quite a few after that. he remembers when clint joined shield. when he joined the avengers. all the close calls. all the times stiles would cry himself to sleep wondering if his husband was alright or not. he remembers it all & how it led to who they are today. who clint is today. stiles would never regret a single moment of it. because clint was an incredible man. an doting husband. a loving father. something stiles knew he’d be all along. because how could someone with that big of a heart be anything but an exceptional being? 

❛  wouldn’t be the first time, ❜  stiles nipped at his husband’s lower lip, easing into the fervent assault upon his lips. thick eyelashes fluttering as his eyes instinctively shut in the midst of it all. the longing he felt was evident in the quiet moans spilling between them. his hips coiling forward, soughting out to relieve the ache between his legs. an ache he’d grown familiar with since clint has been gone. an ache that was now tenfolds more intense than it’d been anytime in the last few months. it’d been so long since he’d seen clint. since he’s felt him. he just needed to know he was alive. that he was really there in front of him. touching him. caressing him. loving him. ❛ ---------- remember when we first moved in? we had ben go stay with my dad until we moved in all the furniture, which took a lot longer than needed because we ended up using that time to fuck like bunnies on every available surface we could find? ❜ he murmured against the other’s lips, tilting his head up a bit to brush his nose against the other’s. arousal heavy in the undertones of his voice. he was needy & was damn well not afraid to admit it. 

[lostmymindstilinski]

thebamfblueelf.

[text Stiles] We should, we can try to talk since it has been hard on us lately. I still owe you details on a lot of things don’t I?

[text Stiles] Well I am a walking hairball so there might be some fur burn too on any spots that are shorter then they should be.

[text Stiles] Well you did have a tail between your legs as well, even drunk we remembered foreplay at least.

( sms: kurt ): you don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to, kurt. i’m the one who fucked up. not you. ( sms: kurt ): but if you wanted to tell me about those things. i’d be be more than happy to listen. ( sms: kurt ): i’m surprised. it’s been so long, i figured we’d be in too big of a hurry. ( sms: kurt ): but i’m glad we did. you aren’t exactly small & i’d rather not limp around the rest of the day.

[saltywolves]

I love you most.

[lostmymindstilinski]

thebamfblueelf.

Kurt was reaching up, taking the bamf from Stiles arms because it was in his way and half tossing the little imp with the herd of his siblings, just so he could press into Stiles and wrap his arms around the other tight. Stiles was a live and no doctor or mad scientist was going to keep him from his family. He was shifting away from him wiping at his face some before going to breath in and out slowly, stepping away from Stiles and just shaking his head. “I know the type Stiles. I have been through the kind two or three times.” Maybe more it was hard for him to keep it separated they blended together so easily. Tail flicked and he was going to look to the man his shoulders down as he did so.

“Now come on Stiles, we have work to do.” He just shook his head to the idea and was going to let the bamfs crawl up on him small fingers tangled into his fur and clothes chirping some worried about the other and he just turned to press his face into one of their chests sighing lightly as he did so.

stiles wouldn’t admit it but he felt like falling to his knees the moment kurt wound his arms around him. he hadn’t expected it. hadn’t deserved it. hadn’t realized it was happening until it was over. the emptiness swallowed him whole. chipping away at the walls he’d built up to keep from crumbling like he had. ( & oh how he crumbled. like chalk dust weaving through the air.  ) stiles wanted more for kurt ----------------- wanted more than he could ever give him. he was terrified out of his mind because he knew he wasn’t the best thing for kurt. he knew he was probably the worst thing for him & whilst it would be selfless to step away from the relationship ---------------- stiles was selfish in all the worst ways. he wanted to keep kurt. he wanted to be the one he loved. he wanted things he didn’t have the right to want anymore. stiles never said he was a good person.

❛ i’ll go get the kids. ❜ he murmured lowly before stepping out of the doorway. he was itching to comfort the other but felt it was best to respect his wishes. instead he turned his back to the elf & headed down the hallway towards the room isaac had set up for the kids. reaching the doorway, stiles found olivia playing with her dolls in the corner whilst thyler was racing cars across the carpet in the other. the sight warmed what was left of his heart & gave him hope that he hadn’t fucked up his family completely. perhaps he could piece things back together. if only one sliver at a time.

shaking those thoughts away for the time being, stiles eased down before the two & held out his hands. ❛ ready to go, munchkins? we don’t want to make daddy wait, now do we? he’s been missing you very much & probably doesn’t want to waste a single minute to get his hands on either of you. ❜  olivia lifted her head, observing her father with a pout upon her lips ( more than likely a result for halting her interactions with her dolls ) before she unhurriedly sat up & made her way towards the man. thyler was less timid in his approach & was quick to take his father’s hand with his free one. his other one resting at his side with his favorite red race car. dusk was just settling in & stiles knew it wouldn’t be long before the two started to get cranky. he could only hope they’d be able to settle in quickly once they got where they were going. 

[lostmymindstilinski]

thebamfblueelf.

[text Stiles]I have carpet burns on my knees so it is fine.

[text Stiles]We can remedy that latter idea, make a nice romantic gesture.

( sms: kurt ): perhaps go to dinner? there is this diner that opened a few weeks ago down the street from my brother’s apartment. i’ve heard it’s good. ( sms: kurt ): although let’s give it a few days. ( sms: kurt ): i feel like i got in a fight with the carpet & i walked away with my tail between my legs. ( sms: kurt ): which is ironic considering you’re the one with the tail. 

[lostmymindstilinski]

▐┊& con. @thebamfblueelf.

( sms: kurt ): i always want you, kurt. nothing will ever change that. ( sms: kurt ): did i pressure you into it? did you want it as well? ( sms: kurt ): god i knew i shouldn’t have drank as much as i did. ( sms: kurt ): the first time we sleep together since everything that has happened & i don’t even remember it. 

[lostmymindstilinski]

thebamfblueelf.

“I am crying because I thought I lost you und you are back here alive und well und the kidner are fine und you ran away from me Stiles. Instead of coming to me, instead of talking to me you just ran. We were planning a wedding, to be together forever und instead of coming through on any of the ideas of being together you ficking left me!” He barked at him the bamf in Stiles arms flinching at the mans anger and ire though none of the ran, since they knew Kurt as well as Kurt knew himself. Even as the other stalked over and grabbed the front of Stiles shirt again he was crying shaking him some as he spoke.

“Because I hate myself, because even dead, even when I was fighting mein vater in hell all I could think about was your stupid face. I hate myself because i still love you und you do not seem to give a damn about me.” The fight was out of him, really it was he just rested his head on the others shoulder fingers still tight in his clothes as he let his own shoulders fall. “I am old Stiles.. I am old.. und weary und I lost so much so fast. Everyone I care about is gone, Logan mein best fruend is dead und I just…” He shook  his head. “Take me to mein kinder Stiles….. I want a home again..”

❛ i love you, kurt. god ------------- i love you so much it hurts. i’ve never stopped. i couldn’t even if i wanted to & i damn well didn’t want to. ❜ his voice was choked off in a low rasp. he tightened his hold upon the small creature in his arms but that didn’t stop him from resting his head atop of his former lover’s. he felt like his heart might splinter in half. the guilt consuming him entirely. submerging him ‘neath the tide & anchoring him down to the bottom of it’s dark ocean. he’d done this. his foolishness. his mistake. kurt should loathe him. not himself. him. he was the idiot. kurt was just the idiot who fell in love with said asshole.

❛ i saw pictures of what they’d done to their victims. how they experimented on them. screwing holes into their heads -------------- treating them like lab rats. kids. elders. men & women alike. it hadn’t mattered to them. they just wanted to see what made them ‘tick’. i-i could only picture your face. olivia’s face. thyler face. i could see my family on those tables & i-i panicked. ❜  he clamped his eyes shut. lower lip quivering as he brushed them over the crown of the elf’s head. he didn’t deserve the family he had. he knew that. he wasn’t an idiot. however even the most foolish part of him hoped one day he’d be able to gain back the man’s trust. his love. ❛ it’s no excuse. i know that now. i was blinded by fear & i didn’t take into consideration what my actions would do to my family. if i could go back, i would. i’d go back in a heartbeat. i’m sorry, kurt. i’m so fuckin’ sorry for what i’ve done -------------- for what you’ve been through. ❜  never again, though. he’d never do it again if he could help it.

[lostmymindstilinski]

thebamfblueelf.

“Stiles we are going to be a family again, I am going to take that stick you have shoved up your arsch und then beat you with it until you get the idea that I am going to help you with this problem und we are going to get back on with our lives.” He looked over to him sharply. No he did not know about Stiles. But he was going to take care of this problem breathing lightly as he did so his shoulders rolling licking his lips as he did so.

“Now help me get the kinder packed, we are going else where und we are going to do this together.” He was not taking no as an answer from the man and his tail snapped sharply behind him breathing warmly as he did so and squirmed slightly knowing well what the other was fiddling with, he had his ring on the chain where he had also gotten another cross. Breathing in deep and out slowly he whistled sharply and the horde of mini minions he kept were next to him chirping and chattering before looking to Stiles. One went to him and was going to crawl over him tugging at his clothes before smooshing his face.

❛  we’re not going anywhere until we talk about why you’ve been crying, kurt.  ❜  his voice had taken upon an sharp edge to counter the elf’s own. he wished kurt did loathe him sometimes. he yearned for the elf to bellow at him until he had nothing left to say -------------- would rather see him fuming in wrath than observe him in sorrow. he could handle wrath. he could understand it. accept it. sorrow on the other hand was an entirely different ball game. one that burrowed thorns in the pit of his stomach. stiles wasn’t worth anyone’s tears -------------- let alone kurt’s. especially kurt’s. he was lucky the man was even willing to help him with taking the doctors down. let alone stand by his side. stiles knew he had a lot to make up for. perhaps more than he could ever be forgiven for.

❛  i just ------------- i just want to help, kurt. i want to know what i can do make it to you. what would make you feel better.  ❜  the edge was gone & what was left in it’s wake was desperation. he knew he couldn’t fix things overnight. perhaps never. however that didn’t mean he wouldn’t try. stiles still loved kurt ------------ loved him more than he’d ever loved anything in his life. besides their kids, that is. he would step aside if that’s what would make kurt happy. he’d understand if he found someone else. he’d more than understand considering everything he’s done. ❛  anything you want, kurt ------------ it’s yours. ❜ his attention was eased away from his former lover towards the almost childlike version of the elf crawling up his body. when his face was squished, stiles emitted a weak chuckle & did his best to be as gentle as possible when he pulled one of the mini elf’s off his face. he instead took the creature into his arms & began to lightly comb his fingers through his fur. he had often done such with kurt at night before they’d go to bed. which was as much a comfort as it was a bitter memory now.

[lostmymindstilinski]

@thebamfblueelf.

Kurt looked up from where he was crying, seated on the edge of his bed smartly dressed in his normal black slacks and tie with a clean button up. Blinking slowly letting them fall freely he looked to Stiles. He didn’t expect comfort or even care from the bastard he still loved. God save him he still loved the man that took his babies away. Stupid git of a man. But they were home, he was home, and no one could change that.

A few bamfs chirped at Kurt his head tilting to listen before golden eyes flicked back to Stiles. “So was leaving so soon now that the kinder are home und someplace safe where I can be with them?” He snapped his voice watery and bitter as he rubbed his nose. He knew the children were safe, the bamfs watched them constantly and the slightest inclination of outside danger they just teleported them to the school.

❛ --------------  i didn’t think you wanted me here, kurt. ❜  stiles fidgeted with the cross ‘neath his shirt. the same cross he’d worn everyday for almost three years. the cross kurt had given to him before he went to california ----------- before they adopted thyler. he should give it back. he knew it would be the right thing to do. but something in him couldn’t do it. he couldn’t bring himself to admit this was over. so instead he focused upon his own nerves. what he’d done to kurt rattled them. he could barely cycle through one thought process without another wave of doubt making impact. he wanted to sooth kurt. comfort him. love him. repair what he’d done. beg for forgiveness. but stiles knew that was nearly impossible now. you can’t undo what’s been done. you had to live with your failures & his failure was in judgement. he’d never be able to give him back lost time. what he’d lost. knit what’d need mending. he’d thought ------------------- hell, it didn’t matter what he thought. the possibility of kurt ever taking him back was as slim as him trusting him again. stiles already sold himself out ----------------------- might as well go the whole nine yards. 

[yjeong-deactivated20250623]

I’m gonna break off an extra large branch of mountain ash, wrap it in wolfsbane, roll it in mistletoe, and shove it up your freakin-

[lostmymindstilinski]

they-call-me-nick.

“Your body language tells me that you would more than just “like” that, and if you can read mine, it’s the same message.” He answered, voice filled with need. “How ever fast you can get us home without cops being involved, I suggest you go that speed, because you know I will be touching and kissing you, love, the whole way there.”

❛  ---------------------- i don’t think we’ll make it to my house.  ❜  his response enticed a groan. fists clamped tight at his sides, resisting the urge to bring the other forth & have him fuck him right here. forgo previous hesitations & just run wild with desires. almost two years he went without this, he didn’t want to wait any longer than necessary. public eye aside, stiles was firm in his belief it wouldn’t take them too long to succumb to their needs & fall apart. too much time has passed since the last ---------------- too much pressure built that needed an escape. 

[lostmymindstilinski]

jacksxnwhittemxre.

Jackson could tell how needy and wanting his husband was, and it was rather cute, but he wanted to first allow the other’s ass a little time to get use to his cock. Granted this is not the first time they’ve had sex, but he still wanted to make sure that his husband would be in pleasure and not pain during the sex. Jackson started to move his hips, pounding as harshly into Stiles as he could, really wishing he’d done something to the wall behind the bed, cause the headboard was slamming harshly against the wall. His hands gripping a little tighter at his husband’s waist, moaning at the feeling of the wet, tight, heat around his cock. Leaning in and pressing his lips firmly to his husband’s, moaning against Stiles’ lips as he was relentless on his husband’s ass.

Now that he was finally giving into the wolf inside, it was hardly to control, all Jackson knew was that by the end that Stiles would be extremely full and most likely pregnant with a second child, but at the moment the smell of Stiles filled his nose, causing him not to care abut how loud Stiles may end up, but only care about pounding into his mate’s ass.

stiles had emitted a gutted growl, head tossed back as a tidal wave of emotions flooded through. heat setting his nerves ablaze, puppeting him into caving into his primal desires. claim. mate. claim. mate. a cycle of carnal need filtering through the fog within the back of his mind ----------------- reminding him the purpose for this rut. claws maiming the wood frame of their headboard, seeping deep into the wood as the other lost control. alpha & beta. lovers. mates. partners. the titles molding into two forms, which had now molded into one. 

desperation filtering through as he sought out those lips, claiming them for his. a clash of canines, seeping into the alpha’s lower brim. one hand loosely falling between them to stroke his own weeping member, heightening the desire to the point of being unbearable. he needed. needed so much. he couldn’t even voice his longings besides a few growls & moans. hips falling back into rhythm with the alpha --------------- bringing him deeper. so much more deeper. he couldn’t have enough of jackson even if he filled him to the brim. he’d always need more. 

[lostmymindstilinski]

jacksxnwhittemxre.

Jackson gave a soft chuckle and shock his head.·“You weren’t pregnant or drugged when you said you wanted ten kids. You blurted it out during one of our sex marathon nights before Jacklyn.” Jackson spoke, chuckling as he patted Stiles inner thigh. The fact they had so many kids did make it a little harder to have fun nights were all they do is have Stiles bent over, moaning his name, which he missed hearing his name out of Stiles mouth as often, but he was planning a fun night for the two of them. Kira was aware of it, cause she was gonna watch the kids with Melissa and Scott’s help, just Stiles wasn’t allowed to know til valentines day that Stiles would get a few days of being without kids and able to have sex a lot again.·“Plus we all know how much you enjoy it when you are pregnant, considering you helped convince Kira it was okay.” He spoke, rubbing his hand over Stiles’ inner thigh, his hand moving almost against Stiles’ cock, but stopped just short.

❛  babe ------------------ we’re turning scott green.  ❜  he sniggered, lips curled into a sheepish grin nonetheless. he’d been an idiotic adolescent with little knowledge about how much went into raising children then. he didn’t know what he knew now. what it took to be a father. ❛  i think it was scott who convinced her. who wouldn’t want him as an dad? their kid is going to put all other kids to shame with how much goodness is running through their veins. it’s sickening.  ❜  his voice had dropped a few tones, falling into a breathy rasp. the hand slithering closer to his cock had not fallen in oblivion to the wolf. he had merely played ignorant ------------------- nipping at jackson’ jawline in warning. his husband should know better than to start something he can’t finish. 

[lostmymindstilinski]

burntbreadpeeta.

Peeta’s body was still being pushed towards the edge by the other male, every thrust, every touch or even subtle touch of their bodies caused a sound or breath to fall from the blond’s lips in complete pleasure despite how drunk he was, everything was blurry. He’d look up at the almost strangers features and he could just make out his features before he’d flutter his eyes closed again, simply focusing on the release that he was going to be provided with, finally. He needed it, craved it even just to feel good about something again, it wasn’t far on him to have been held back from something he needed for too long. “D-don’t stop.” The blond whispered, he didn’t want to stop until they had both hit the edge of release. “Please.” Peeta whimpered this time, fingers digging into males back, holding him in place almost as if he didn’t, then the other would stop rocking and thrusting his hips in the way he was. Hopefully he would remember this when he woke up, instead of a drunken haze. 

pleasure licked up his spine in small bursts. his fingers clamped tight around those hips, holding onto the boy beneath him ---------------------- anchoring himself to him. this was his anchor. pleasure seeped through the grief. pleasure reformed pain. he was alone. more alone than he’d ever been before. but this ---------------- this made him sane. each thrust in that tight warmth, each stroke to the pulsing member in his hand, it had all but silenced the demons in his head. he could feel without weight burrowing him in the ground. he felt free. such a exhilarating feeling. ❛   not gonna stop. promise.  ❜  slurred. his words were slurred. with lust ---------------- with relief. a snap of his hips followed through, stuttering briefly before he rolled back & repeated the process. lips tugging at the flesh ‘pon the blond’s neck, respires heavy with need. his thumb circling the weeping slit before dragging down the base. he wanted to drive this kid out of his mind ----------------- wanted him to feel what he felt. perhaps he was broken, too. perhaps they were all broken. 

[lostmymindstilinski]

thebamfblueelf.

Eyes flicking red he was teleporting grabbing the front of the mans shirt before slamming him against the wall as he did so tears rolling down his cheek. “Never take mein kinder away from me again Stiles.” He hissed out sharply sneering a bit as he did so before his eyes turned back to the soft gold jaw tightening. “Do you not think that is a fear of mein as well?” He breathed letting his head fall but he kept Stiles where he was.

“I was tortured, I have been used as a science experiment time und time again.” He was swallowing and looking at him. “You know the scars I bare und you thought for a moment that taking them away from mein help was a gute idea? I am disappointed in you.. Now take me to mein kinder. Or I swear to Gott above I will hurt you.” He loved the man and he hated that the most letting him go and drop to the ground his hand moving to scrub over his face.

“Gott I hate myself but I still love you, I just want us to be a family again.” He breathed through his nose shaking his head some as he did so before going to shift.

he didn’t know what hurt worse. knowing kurt still loved him despite what he’d done or that he had given him a reason to believe he’d intentionally harm him. swallowing back the lump that formed in the back of his throat, stiles eased away from the wall once he was certain that kurt wasn’t going to take a shot at him. they were on wobbled grounds here & stiles might’ve knew the man kurt was ----------------- ( knew his lips. knew his hands. knew his heart. knew his scars. ) but that certainly didn’t mean he knew the man that kurt is now. much akin to how kurt didn’t know the man who stiles was now. strangers in all but names. in pasts. the irony. ( had the price been worth it? had what he lost been worth it? )

❛   i’ll --------------------- i’ll take you to them. you’ve just got to take me back.  ❜  stiles yearned to brush away the trail of tears slithering down the other’s cheek but he withstood the urge. it wasn’t his place. not anymore. instead he waited for him to take the lead & teleport them back to the market. the flat wasn’t too far from there, it’d only take about ten minutes at the most. ❛   from there i’ll show you the way.  ❜  he was leaving soon, anyhow. kurt wouldn’t have to deal with him for much longer. he’d already overstayed his welcome as it was, he’d need to slip away before someone tracked him down. before they tracked his family down.