Not Your Average Latina

[live-throughwords]

you’ll find another

they said

but I don’t want another

I thought 

[longpauses]

does it get better? yes. yes it does. at first you feel too much and you’ll cry. you will cry a lot and it feel like the end of the world. you might even reach out and contact them a couple of times, but they won’t reply back. eventually you’ll stop thinking about them all the time but during the day you’ll stop and think about what they’re doing. did they eat? I wonder if they got any sleep or if they’re flying back home for the summer. but through it all, you will learn to love yourself. you will learn that suddenly you love the colour pink or that you have a new found love for a show you thought you hated. sometimes you’ll fall apart, don’t expect this to be a journey where you will only keep going up, sometimes you will fall, you will fall back down so hard and it will hurt all over again but you have to get back up. get back up and show them that’s you’re okay. you’ll be drinking coffee and suddenly you’ll be crying because the colour reminds you of their deep brown eyes. maybe you’ll be listening to that song they told you about and suddenly you want to run away. but when that happens, remember how strong you were before them and continue. healing is a long process, it doesn’t happen in 2 days or even 2 months. you just have to keep pushing until one day you look back and just smile. smile because it happened but you know what, it’s okay. its okay if it ended badly or maybe the fact that you’re back to strangers. but you will smile, you will be grateful for the time spent and when you can fully do that without wanting to go back to them, that’s when you have healed. keep going baby, you got this.

[that-gir1]

[empty-and-lonely]

[lostwith-outyou]

All my mind keeps repeating is “I’m drowning. I’m drowning. I’m drowning.” And you don’t want to save me. Won’t even extend a hand because my “flare ups are too much for you”. But by that you mean how i sometimes feel due to the abuse I’ve suffered from my family and still do. I’m sorry it’s too much for you. Because if it was reversed i wouldn’t leave. I’m sorry I’m too hard to love. But wasn’t it you that hold me nothing easy is worth having...yeah. IM DROWNING.

[bravesouul]

[lostwith-outyou]

You have me and that’s what makes this hurt so much more. You have me. My heart. My soul. My mind. My body. My secrets, past, present, my future If that’s what you still wanted too. You say we’re taking it slow, starting over. But how do you start over when we’ve dated for so long. It’s hard to go back to that uncertainty. I don’t want to be with anyone else, this i know. I don’t want to share myself the way i do with you. Mentally, emotionally and physically. And we still share one another physically. But i think even that is slowly killing me inside. Because i crave more. You were my moon and my stars. So if you don’t want me, If you’re interested in someone else, want to live the single life again then let me know. As painful as that last goodbye will be and the months- no years to follow its better than feeling second best. Better than feeling like I’m not your first choice or first in your heart. Don’t hold onto me if you’re just trying to see if you can find better.

[so-narly]

“If the feelings are mutual, the effort will be equal.”

— Unknown

[thoselovelythings]

[wordsthat-speak]

“I woke up in the morning and I didn’t want anything, didn’t do anything, couldn’t do it anyway.. just lay there listening to the blood rush through me and it never made any sense, anything.”

—  Richard Siken

[thegoodvybe]

[skull-heads]

No amount of sleep could cure the tiredness I feel. (Depleted)

[dailyyy-quotes]

“My heart is so tired.”

so so tired

[lostwith-outyou]

This emotional roller coaster I’ve been on these past weeks have made me more exhausted than ever. Are we really over? Are we not? Are we working on things, and by we, i mean only me. I’m hurting yet everyday I’m trying to fix us. I’m still somehow making it to school. But today, somehow today was different. I didn’t have the energy to keep myself put together. No energy to torment myself mentally and emotionally with wondering if you still do love me, if we will make it still, if you miss me like i miss you, how you are, what you’re doing. I have no energy. I’m just so damn tired of carrying us on my back alone. I’m tired. I need you to pick up the weight, please. If only for a day. Just give me a day where i don’t question any of that. Show me you care too. Because I’m just too tired today. And I’m scared of how I’m feeling right now.

[bravesouul]

[outofyourworld-blog1]

I miss you I miss your body your skin your touch your hair your breath the way u sound while u sleep how warm your body is in the morning the face you make when you first wake up I miss the feeling of ur hand intertwined with mine in miss laying in the sun together going for walks smoking weed I miss sharing my secrets learning more about you seeing you grow I miss the encouragement to get better someone who really wanted me to be happy and saw what I was worth I miss having a friend someone to cuddle someone to talk to cry to fight with be there for and them be there for me in return I miss you

[bravesouul]

[myneverforever]

“And if life was supposed to be easy then maybe you’d still love me. But this world didn’t have a timeline that included us. Maybe in a different life far from now there will be a you and me. And in that life, is where I will forever be.”

— mnf

[suicidesson]

I can’t explain how I feel right now, all I know is I have an ache in my chest that won’t go away

-@suicidesson

[chi-knight]

I’ve always had that ache in my chest..ever since I can remember. Now the one thing that dulled that ache disappeared out of my life and I don’t know how to handle it..it feels different..it feels worse somehow.

[longpauses]

does it get better? yes. yes it does. at first you feel too much and you’ll cry. you will cry a lot and it feel like the end of the world. you might even reach out and contact them a couple of times, but they won’t reply back. eventually you’ll stop thinking about them all the time but during the day you’ll stop and think about what they’re doing. did they eat? I wonder if they got any sleep or if they’re flying back home for the summer. but through it all, you will learn to love yourself. you will learn that suddenly you love the colour pink or that you have a new found love for a show you thought you hated. sometimes you’ll fall apart, don’t expect this to be a journey where you will only keep going up, sometimes you will fall, you will fall back down so hard and it will hurt all over again but you have to get back up. get back up and show them that’s you’re okay. you’ll be drinking coffee and suddenly you’ll be crying because the colour reminds you of their deep brown eyes. maybe you’ll be listening to that song they told you about and suddenly you want to run away. but when that happens, remember how strong you were before them and continue. healing is a long process, it doesn’t happen in 2 days or even 2 months. you just have to keep pushing until one day you look back and just smile. smile because it happened but you know what, it’s okay. its okay if it ended badly or maybe the fact that you’re back to strangers. but you will smile, you will be grateful for the time spent and when you can fully do that without wanting to go back to them, that’s when you have healed. keep going baby, you got this.