little darling

HANNAH || 23 || AWKWARD BEAN indie mumu - see info And what exactly do you think fairy tales are? They are a reminder that our lives will get better if we just hold on to hope.

[dailyjuliannehough]

[lostxstars]

@wrongtimezone @unofficialbard

[midsommars-deactivated20201109]

Zoey Deutch in Flower (2017)

[fckoffthana]

Thana Pierce || Head canon - Tattoo’s 

Made a wrong turn, once or twice dug my way out, blood and fire. Bad decisions, that’s alright. Welcome to my silly life. Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood, miss ‘No way, it’s all good’, it didn’t slow me down.  Mistaken, always second guessing, underestimated; look, I’m still around

Top left: Roses and thorns, black work smaller flowers and leaves. Features on her left shoulder coming down her collar bone and to her chest. Flowers also mirror onto her back with the same trailing curving towards her spine

Top right: Astronomy themes, moon cycle, earth and directional points. Features on her sternum Reason: always found comfort and calm in simply watching night life, center of grounding

Bottom left: Crescent moon featured right wrist. Reason: tw: miscarriage after loosing the baby she wanted something to remember. Since shed been calling it moonie or moo, she got the cresent moon of how many weeks shed been pregnant before loosing it.

Bottom right: Death’s-head hawkmoth features mid back. Reason: for her grandmother, after Thana bought her her new home the older woman wanted to thank her in some way so the pair got tattoos. Something that reminded them of each other and for Thana is was a moth something that her grandmother had always collected. 

[imogenpotts]

[wrongtimezone]

@lostxstars​ based on this.

He forgot when it all turned black.

The next time he was awake, Alexander laid on the floor of his living room. It was late or so he thought, only being able to tell by the lack of light in the room. As the seconds passed, he began to realize his situation but more importantly, he realized things that weren’t there. Like the throbbing coming from his head and the blood that stained the neckline of his shirt, his hand moving to his hand to see more blood. Yet despite all this, he couldn’t open his eyes. Or he had. But he couldn’t see anything. And then his eyesight became clearer, his ears catching more noise and he could hear the distinctive sound of wood cracking and glass breaking.

Then there was the heat. And smoke. And Alexander couldn’t breathe as he coughed into his arm while trying to stand up only to have his eyes widen at the sight. His apartment was on fire. More importantly, he had been hit at the back of his head, with the purpose of knocking him out so he’d die in that fire. The man moved quickly, covering his face with an arm as he tried to make his way while avoiding the flames and the heat, the unbearable heat that consumed every single inch of his home. The home he had waited for so long for a certain purpose and now that it was indeed happening, it was slowly being destroyed right in front of his eyes.

But now it wasn’t time to dwell on it.

When he found the door, he tried his hardest to open it, but it was blocked by something on the other side. There was no way he’d be able to walk out of this so easily, not unless there was help on the way -assuming his neighbors had realized what was happening and they had called firefighters- but he couldn’t just sit there and wait. His next good chance of surviving this was a window, one that let the air in and could kill the fire enough for him to breathe. And time was running out quickly. His bedroom was the closest room that wasn’t burnt already, moving quickly to the nearest window to open it and finally have a breath of fresh air.

And just as he had sat down to take a breath, he heard firefighters calling out, making Alexander get up quickly to the main door. He didn’t know how long it took them to open it, but it felt like an eternity. And finally, after long-awaited minutes, he was pulled out of it, guided to the main floor and finally out in the street and away from that hell hole. A paramedic had taken hold of his arm, barely taking a step towards the nearest ambulance when he caught sight of something. Someone.

He didn’t know where did he pulled strength out to call out for Thana with a throat so hoarse from so much coughing, convinced at this point that his lungs were filled with smoke. Ignoring the calls of the paramedic, Alexander made his way through the crowd a second away from being smashed by the blonde as she hugged him tightly. “I’m fine,” he said back to her, a hoarse voice as he spoke, arms wrapping around her as he forgot for a second the fire, the close call with death, let alone the open wound on his head. “I’m fine now.”

[lostxstars]

Considering Thana had been on the verge of having a panic attack, it took a moment for everything else to come back into focus. She was so filled with relief that he was actually alive and next to her, it wasn’t until she heard his voice that she realized that despite his words he was anything but fine. The hoarse voice, the smell of smoke coming off of every inch of him, and what was that sticking to her face? That’s when everything came back. The ambulance and firetruck sirens piercing through the cold night air. The worried and concerned cries of the rest of the people around them. A chaotic reality that hit like a wave with how overwhelming it was, especially with the paramedic still calling behind them that he really needed to go to hospital. It was obvious he wasn’t out of the woods yet. And she’d be damned if she wasn’t with him. 

As she pulled back and saw the blood on the neck of his shirt, her face turned colder as she could feel her heart sinking again. Ignoring the fact she no doubt had the wet sticky blood smeared across her cheek. He was here, but everything most definitely wasn’t fine. Brows knitting together deeply as her mind ultimately switched. Normally when it came to her flight or fight mode, emotionally she was always flight. But this? When it came to anyone she cared about Thana was always fight. “No you’re fucking not. Come on- and don’t be a stubborn ass you need help.” Thana spoke firmly, clearly not taking no for an answer. The blonde glanced up at his features one last time before her arm looped around him to offer some form of stability and support as she guided him back in the direction of the paramedic. 

If there was one thing that Thana hated the most, it was when she felt helpless and this was definitely one of those situations. All she could do was stand and watch as they ushered him closer towards the ambulance and the help that he so clearly needed. There was nothing that she could do to but stand hopelessly and watch with the situation completely out of her hands. She had to trust them to look after the important person to her. Trust which she clearly didn’t have. 

But unfortunately as she made her way towards the ambulance, her path was blocked by a medic stating she could meet him at the hospital. Which obviously was a big mistake. If he hadn’t been helping Alex and the other residents, - but also if there hadn’t been police starting to arrive - she would have punched him just to get him to move. Instead her jaw clenched along with her fist by her side. “No I’m his fucking girlfriend-” The blonde protested to the medic trying to hold her back from the ambulance, with the meek excuse of it normally only being immediate family allowed. To which she quickly shot back in protest: “He is my fucking family.” Before the medic even had a chance to tell Thana again she couldn’t come in the ambulance, the blonde had shot him a look that clearly read ‘if you even try to stop me getting on that ambulance I’ll rip your head off.’ Luckily the woman from the ambulance shouted to the other in Thana’s way to let her past. “Asshole.” The blonde grumbled as she pushed past him to get back to Alex, the only place she really cared about being right about now. 

Granted even if her shoulder suck when she saw the medics around him like hawks, Thana swallowed the dread that was gnawing at her as she pulled herself into the ambulance. Making herself as small as possible in the corner so she wasn’t in the way. When she caught sight of Alex’s eyes though, she nodded lightly and mouthed ‘You’ll be fine. It’s okay.’  

[vaememes]

` ° * ✧ ° RANDOM SENTENCE STARTERS.

❛ Have you been playing with matches again? ❜ ❛ Do have anymore of that one stuff? ❜ ❛ So, where do we go from here? ❜ ❛ What the hell is that thing? ❜ ❛ You know, you aren’t supposed to be doing that. ❜ ❛ I almost forgot you only come around when you need me. ❜ ❛ Oh, yeah, you played me good, didn’t you? ❜ ❛ I’m not joking with you this time. ❜ ❛ Do you ever think about having kids? ❜ ❛ I didn’t mean to punch you that hard. ❜ ❛ Nice shiner there, buddy. ❜ ❛ Great way to start the day. ❜ ❛ I just want peace and quiet. ❜ ❛ Please, just go away already, ugh. ❜ ❛ I’m not giving you any money! ❜ ❛ You don’t own me. ❜ ❛ Tell me what to do or what to say. ❜ ❛ I love my freedom. ❜ ❛ Shut up before I break your arm. ❜ ❛ Now, that looks like a grand adventure. ❜ ❛ I’m taking you home, come on. ❜ ❛ Jesus, are you really that drunk? ❜ ❛ What did you take? How many you’d take? ❜ ❛ That’s not an orange. It’s a lemon. ❜ ❛ The wait is almost over. ❜ ❛ So, when are we going to finally meet? ❜ ❛ I would like to see you in person. ❜ ❛ Are you online dating again? ❜ ❛ I’m not sad, I’m just tired. ❜ ❛ I want to take a nap so bad. ❜ ❛ I thought we could just nap together. ❜ ❛ Life can be messy. ❜ ❛ I wish life could be mess free. ❜ ❛ Are you high or just stupid? ❜ ❛ You can be anything you set your mind to. ❜ ❛ We are not going to be like them. ❜ ❛ I just wanted to fit in, I don’t know. ❜ ❛ Are you going to that party tonight? ❜ ❛ I thought we’d be together forever. ❜ ❛ I really liked you. My fault. ❜ ❛ We don’t like surprises. ❜ ❛ Please save the lecture for someone who gives a shit. ❜ ❛ What the hell did you do? ❜ ❛ Well, you poor thing. ❜ ❛ I’m just saying, murder is an option. ❜ ❛ We can always kill them, yeah? ❜ ❛ What’s all this glitter for anyway? ❜ ❛ Damn, you look like shit. Smell like it too. ❜ ❛ It’s not too dark and not too light. ❜ ❛ I wanted to know what you liked so I stalked you. ❜ ❛ I didn’t stalk anyone for the last time already. ❜ ❛ I’m not sorry and I have no regrets. ❜ ❛ You are so fucked, you know that? ❜ ❛ Hey, you stole that from me! Give it back! ❜ ❛ Screw you. ❜ ❛ Just fuck off already. ❜ ❛ You look like a Simpson. ❜ ❛ I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings. ❜ ❛ I’m not mean, I’m just honest. ❜ ❛ I will stab you with my fingernail, try me. ❜ ❛ Your wish is my command. ❜ ❛ I would love to see you suffer. ❜ ❛ I’m not in, no way. This is bad. ❜ ❛ I don’t want to break any rules. ❜ ❛ Fine then. Don’t call and don’t text me anymore. ❜ ❛ I’m not mad at you, don’t worry. ❜ ❛ Do not ever question my parenthood again. ❜ ❛ I don’t have time for this. ❜ ❛ Death is all around us. ❜ ❛ You’re just like the girl from gone girl. ❜ ❛ You left, not me. ❜ ❛ I’m not the one that’s always leaving. ❜ ❛ I can’t believe this is truly happening. ❜ ❛ I was wondering, if you wanted to look at the stars with me? ❜ ❛ I always wanted to go on a date. ❜ ❛ I knew you were trouble when you walked in. ❜ ❛ I had a feeling. ❜ ❛ Wait, do you feel that? That vibe right now? ❜ ❛ Where could the gem be? ❜ ❛ Do I look like someone you should mess with? ❜ ❛ It stinks it this place. Can’t believe you call it home. ❜ ❛ Wow, this is your house? ❜ ❛ I can’t believe you didn’t think to ask me first. ❜ ❛ You have a lot to learn. ❜ ❛ What do you take me for? ❜ ❛ What do I have to do to get it from you? ❜ ❛ Will you ever stop asking me that? ❜ ❛ This place never ceases to amaze me. ❜

[7172626728388918928292991972-de]

yall coping ?

[dongboss]

no

[gretagerwisg]

Zoë Kravitz’s outfits in High Fidelity

[allisonedit]

Every Allison Scene:


3.22 De-Void

[wrongtimezone]

lostxstars‌:

The blondes eyes had flickered close almost as if she were bacing herself for the words that were about to fall from his lips. Preparing herself for the rejection like she always did as if that could some how safe guard her heart. But it never worked. Besides, Thana knew if he were to utter those words, it would have broken her heart. There would have been no shying away from that. He meant more, more than she dare let herself say outload, because god she’s curse herself for how badly she’d let herself fall for him.

“It’s okay you don’t have to-” The blonde uttered quietly with a small shake of her head. Only looking up at him as he guided her face up to meet his gaze. The uncertainty in her eyes evident like it normally was. Yet here he was again settling her fear like he had so many times before and would no doubt have to do again. How he always had the patience to do that with her astounded her, no one else ever had before. But then again no one had probably cared about her the way that he did. A slight smile tugged at the edge of her features at his last words that she couldn’t help the scoff that left her lips. “Sure if you want fucking food poisoning. Don’t blame me if you start throwing up everywhere.” Thana uttered shifting slightly to rest her head of his chest as she looked up at him. Her hand raising to brush lightly over his jaw before setting back onto his chest as she whispered: “You’re sure about this?”

“About what, you food poisoning me? Not like it hasn’t happened before,” said Alexander with a smirk on his face as he felt the blonde get comfortable against him. The warmth coming from her soothing him more as he could only bring her closer to him. As if the close contact and that tight embrace would be enough to push whatever doubt left wandered in her head. Of course, he knew that was too much to ask, and he probably should expect a question like that one or another reassuring call for help from Thana. But at this point, he was all in. If reminding her every day how important she was to him, so much that the thought of replacing her was impossible to him, then so be it. Whatever it took to keep the woman by his side.

“I’m sure about this,” he finally answered once his snickered downed to a warm gaze as he looked at her, finally answering her question. “And if you ask me tomorrow, trust me that I’ll answer the same thing. I’m not going anywhere,” said Alexander as he wrapped his arms around her, his nose digging in her blonde locks before pressing a kiss to her forehead. “But you better bring back my clothes. I’m not buying more fucking shirts or sweats,” he ended with another snicker.

[lostxstars]

The blonde couldn’t help but scoff, an amused - but granted tired now - smile settling onto her features. He’d calmed her nerves like he always did, he was one of the few; hell, probably the only person who managed it so easily. Almost like the fear had cascaded to the back of her head for the first time in months a sense of calm settled over the blonde. Her shoulders finally relaxing. With him she always felt safe, hell by his side was the only place she ever did. She hadn’t been able to sleep for months unless she was drunk. But by his side again? Her eyes were already so heavy. She didn’t have to worry about letting her guard down, things were always going to be okay with him there. She knew that.

With his warm gaze and assuring words, Thana couldn’t help but curl up tighter to his side. Placing her lips softly along his jaw and down neck before her head rested on his chest. And there were the three words burning on her tongue again threatening to slip but she couldn’t let them. Not yet. Even if her eyes were filled with affection for him, her head couldn’t justify the words just yet. Not when bad things always happened when she said them. They’d only just gotten good again, she didn’t plan on letting him slip through her fingers again just yet. So instead she held on a little tighter her eyes flickering closed as a small laugh fell off her lips. “I don’t know this is pretty fucking comfy. Besides I look hot in your clothes, you said it yourself so. Clearly we just need to trade, I can wear this and you can wear my thongs.” The blonde spoke an amused grin on her lips.

[lostxstars]

thosemalemuses

“I didn’t want to believe it myself, but when I didn’t hear anything from you… Honestly I didn’t have much other choice not to believe it.” Brandon knew it would hurt Anya to hear that, but he knew he couldn’t lie to her. He wouldn’t lie to his best friend like that. “But now that you’re here, I’d always regret it if I didn’t at least try to get you to stay.” Once he finally got the truth from Anya about why she couldn’t stay, his stomach dropped. “Why didn’t you tell me Anya?” He’d been on a handful of dates with Emily, and sure Brandon could see them going places, but compared to Anya? There was no contest. “Me and Emily…? Is that really why you can’t stay…?” He knew he couldn’t say that Emily meant nothing to him, because that would just be cruel and Brandon wasn’t that guy. But he knew what he had to do. No one would mean anything to him quite like Anya. Without another word, Brandon ignored her protest as he pressed his lips against hers softly. “I’ll never care about anyone like I care for you Anya, and I can’t give you up.”

“Why?” Anya repeated an exasperated sigh falling from her lips as she dragged a hand through her hair pushing it back off her face. Maybe it had been a mistake telling him now, but how could she not be honest when it came to him? “You were happy, I wasn’t going to ruin that again.” So many times both of them had relationships or potential flings fall apart because of the connection they had with one another. He deserved to be happy, she didn’t want to be the one to stand in the way of that again. “One of the reasons.” Sure there were other factors like her father and the fact she was tired of the town, but he was always going to be a factor. Anya could feel herself melt almost instantly as he took a step closer to close the distance between them. Maybe they should have parted then, left it as a somewhat bitter sweet goodbye and live with the consequences. But she didn’t. Maybe it was selfish- no it definitely was. Instead the woman stepped even closer to him, her chested pressed against his as he hand moved up to cup the back of his neck. There was a second pause as she gathered her nerve before pressing her lips back to his. 

[insporp]

©

[lostxstars]

@felixculpxx

[lostxstars]

thosemalemuses

“Yeah maybe I was supposed to know you better, but I can bet you said goodbye to people who aren’t half as close as we are. I mean shit, I had to find out from fucking Jake that you were leaving. Do you know how humiliating that is to find out from that asshole that you were going to leave without a word to me?” Brandon sighed heavily as he tried his best to see from Anya’s perspective but his emotions were clouding his judgement. As he watched her shoulders sink, Brandon left his doorway and closed the small gap between the two of them. “Give me one good reason why you can’t stay Anya…” His voice softened, edged with a tone of pleading as his eyes drifted up to her face. Brandon couldn’t bare to think that this could possibly be the last time that he might see her. His hand gently moved up to trace his thumb gently along her jawline. “If this is it, this is what I want to remember Anya - right here. Not fighting or mad at each other, but just being together.” He knew if she really wanted to go, he could never make her stay, but Brandon prayed that he could at least make her reconsider.

“Because saying goodbye to them was easier. None of them even come close to you. I mean- none of them are my best friend, ex boyfriend or the person that I still-” Cutting herself off quickly the brunette shook her head as her jaw tightened pulling her eyes away from him as her brows knitting together. The person she still had feelings for. Hell who was she kidding at this point, the person she still undoubtedly loved. “In my defense I didn’t tell Jake so I don’t know who told him, did you really think I’d tell that idiot and not you?” Anya asked with a quirk of an eye brow as she looked over at him. Though, as he started to come closer, she knew she should have taken a step backwards it would just be easier if she did. But the brunette was left rooted to the floor just looking over his features. If this was going to be the last time she saw him, she wanted to remember every inch of him. At his question she froze, debating whether to be honest or offer some kind of bullshit that would make it easier to leave. But at this point, what had she got left to loose? “You and Emily..” The brunette spoke quietly with a small soft sigh falling off her lips. If he wanted one of the main reason, there it was. “I can’t-..” Cutting herself off with a small shake of her head, she bit her tongue before finishing: “Look I know-.. it’s stupid. And us- we haven’t been together for-” God how long had it been now? “But it hurts okay? I still care about you. And I’m not going to get in the way of you finding someone again. You know as well as I do it’s better if I just go.” Eyes flickering closed as she felt his thumb against her jaw, she didn’t even try to step backwards away from him mainly because she didn’t want to. Looking up at him, she gave a single shake of her head as she uttered: “Brandon-.. don’t-” 

[holycannolies-deactivated202311]

“I know.. I know you can’t. I won’t keep you. I just- I want to understand Anya. why are you leaving so suddenly? Jackie said something about a job transfer but that doesn’t make sense. you love your job but such a short notice transfer? that doesn’t sound like them. it doesn’t sound like you. please tell me if you’re in trouble.. if there’s anything I can help with. I can protect you.” he just wanted to understand. he wanted to know why it was that she was leaving everything behind in such a rush. there had to be something he was missing, something that’d triggered so much that now she was just up and leaving without really considering her options or choices. they were still standing in the hallway wound around each other as he waited, the light shining in from the street with each passing car shedding light on their features.

[lostxstars]

“What so you can be my night in shining armour?” Anya asked with a slight teasing smile though it fell quickly as she took a step back from him. Any attempt to lighten the mood at the minute was falling flat on it’s face. He was the only one that knew part of it anyway. Since it had happened when they were dating, he’d seen her fall apart first hard. It wasn’t exactly something you could hide from your then boyfriend. He knew more of her background then the rest of their friends, it was only fitting. “Fine.” The brunette spoke making her way further into his place with a small puff from her lips. Her hands dragging through her hair as she tried to figure out where she would even start with something like this. Glancing around the living room, everything looked so familiar, the little trinkets he had, the framed photos, she probably knew it just as well as she knew her own place at this point. Perching on the end of his coach, Anya let a shaky sigh fall of her lips before she spoke. “Do you remember a while ago after my sister died and I kinda-” Lost it would be an understatement. “Well you know I went away to clear my head and to-.. stupidly try and find the guy that killed her. Do remember how I told you my dad wasn’t a great guy?” Understatement of the century. “And that my sister died because of some of the things he got caught up in? Well the uh- my boss found out who he was. They’ve been trying to get evidence on him for years but never could. I said I’d help. Some how my dad found out I betrayed him. Found my phone number, my apartment, I think he’s had someone following me. I need to leave so he doesn’t find me. Or you, or Jackie or anyone. If I go, he can’t hurt you because he won’t know.” Atleast Anya prayed that was true. But her father had always been a powerful man, she’s seen what he could do first hand. If he wanted to find something out, he would. But leaving here was the best chance she had at keeping everyone safe and away from her insane family. She knew it was alot to take in, so in a weak attempt from where she sat on the coach she offered a small half smile as she spoke: “I don’t need you to protect me, I’m a tough girl I can look after myself.” Though her smile fell instantly as she looked over his features. “Everything is gunna be fine.. I just have to go.”

[lostxstars]

thosemalemuses

Brandon watched Anya turn away from him. “What the hell was I supposed to think Anya?” His eyes were trained on her. If this was the last time he was going to see her, Brandon wanted to remember every inch of her. “Did you honestly think I’d be fine with no goodbye after everything we’ve been through…?” He knew it would be hard for Anya to say goodbye, and it would be hard for him to hear it, but surely she couldn’t think it would be easier to leave without a word. He stepped out of the door, grabbing Anya’s wrist from behind to turn her around. “Then why don’t you stay?” Brandon asked bluntly, a question he’d been keeping to himself since that voicemail. “I don’t want you to go, and you just said it yourself - saying goodbye to me makes you not want to go.” Brandon knew it was selfish of him to tell her to stay, but he wasn’t ready to let her go yet. He wasn’t sure he ever would be. “You being pissed off at me isn’t a goodbye that either of us are going to want to remember and you know it.”

“I don’t know okay?! I just thought- You were supposed to know me better after everything we’d been through. Did you seriously think I didn’t care?” The words felt sour on her tongue and left an ache in her chest. Leaving him was always going to be hard, but after a decade of being best friends and even more at points throughout it; nothing could have prepared her for how hard this was going to be. The reality was that she couldn’t handle the prospect of not seeing him everyday, not speaking to him, it was an idea that she couldn’t even fathom. “I couldn’t say goodbye okay? I just couldn’t. Because I-” Cutting herself off with a small shake of her head, she pulled her eyes away from him briefly. “Because it can’t be the end of us. It just can’t be. And if I said goodbye then that would be it and I don’t-” Her lip pulling between her bottom teeth as she bit on it hard a sadness sinking over her features as she turned her gaze back to him. “I don’t want to leave knowing I won’t see you again.” Feeling him grab her a sigh left her lips as she turned back around to face him, her brows knitting together as she looked over him. “Brandon-” The brunette uttered quietly a sadness edging on her features as she watched him. A part of her screamed yes, of course she’d stay. But the reality she just didn’t have a choice anymore. “I can’t stay. You know that.” Anya spoke her shoulders sinking. “Fine then how do you want to remember it?” 

[lostxstars]

etherexlmuses

he didn’t know if he was more hurt than angry or vice versa. angry that she was leaving him behind, angry that to him it seemed like she hadn’t even considered him - but that was also just him being selfish. he couldn’t stop watching her, could see the tears threatening to spill over as she listened to him before they were just standing there, no sounds but that of their loud breathing in the night. “anya - that doesn’t change the fact that you were just going to leave. I get it, trust me I do. if it was me leaving you, i would have sought you out. I would have wanted to spend every possible moment with you. I wouldn’t have wanted to leave.” in that moment he decided he was more hurt than angry. ten years and she was just going to leave, just like that. he sighed and reached his arm out to her, pulling her into his place gently before wrapping his arms around her. “I’m sorry if I’m being an asshole. I’m just hurt that you’re leaving. I’m being selfish, I want to be selfish and ask you to stay but I won’t.”

Granted her announcing she was leaving, to today had been- well very quick. Only what, a couple of days? There had barely been time to process it let alone pack up her life here. To the rest of her friends, she’d told them it was a job transfer. A simple thing that happened all the time. But that wasn’t the reason she was leaving. It wasn’t as simple as that. “I don’t-” She sighed with a small shake of her head as she tilted her head slightly looked over at him. Biting her tongue hard so the simple words didn’t leave her lips. ‘I don’t want to leave’. It had never been something that she had planned or wanted to happen so quickly at least. How was she supposed to do this in only a few days? But with everything going on staying would only make things worse in the long run. And granted it would be safer for everyone if she just left them alone. “I don’t have a choice right now Owen-” Anya spoke honestly with a light frown tugging onto the edge of her features. When he pulled her in, the brunette reached behind her to push the door closed before he had a chance to wrap her in his arms. To which she quickly reciprocated and looped her arms tightly around him in return. “I can’t stay..” The woman murmured quietly into his chest clinging a little tighter onto him as a small sigh fell from her lips. She wished she could. If things were different, if she hadn’t started to put that case against her father then maybe things would be better. They would have stayed the same atleast. But there wasn’t a reality in which Anya could have lived with herself if that had happened. “You’re not an asshole.” She uttered quickly. Come with me. Was the three words that wanted to fall from her lips. She’d been wanting to say them all week ever since she’d told him she had to leave. But putting him at risk was something she couldn’t do, she couldn’t loose anyone else she loved. “I can’t stay. If things were different and you asked- I’d be unpacking right now. You now that right?” 

[lostxstars]

thosemalemuses

When Brandon had realised that Anya hadn’t said goodbye to him, he didn’t know whether to feel angry or hurt. He thought that he would mean enough to her to warrant a goodbye, but apparently not. Which then lead to him leaving a very regrettable angry voicemail, but Brandon couldn’t suppress it. He knew he would hate himself for it later, but she needed to know how hurt he felt that she had taken off without so much as a goodbye. He never thought he would see her again, until he heard the knock on his front door. Expecting it to be a pizza delivery, he grabbed some money before opening the door, finding her on the doorstep. His eyebrows instantly raised as he tucked the money into his pocket. Brandon took a breath to stop him reacting too quickly as he knew he’d done by leaving her that voicemail. “After ten years you couldn’t at least give me a goodbye?”

If she was being honest, his voicemail had made her mad. No furious. He thought he didn’t mean as much to her? After everything that they had been through together the fact that that would even cross his mind broke her heart. Because it was the opposite, it was always going to be the opposite. He never meant less to her, Brandon always meant more. “It was too damn hard okay? Is that what you want to hear?” Anya spoke her voice shaking. “It was too fucking hard Brandon.  I can’t- I can’t even begin to explain to you how much I’m going to miss you.” The woman spoke with a small shake of her head as she looked over his features. “When I think about how I’m not going to see you everyday, it makes me not want to go.” Taking a step back from him, her arms looped tightly around herself as if that was going to offer some kind of comfort to the situation. But that didn’t change the ache in the bottom of her stomach. “I kept going over in my head how I was going to say goodbye to you and all I get coming up with were reasons to stay. So if you think I didn’t say goodbye to you because you didn’t mean as much or because I didn’t care, you’re wrong. It’s because you meant more. So there, there is your goodbye.” Anya spoke her words sharper after his voicemail and llaced with her sadness. Dragging her fingers through her hair, she shook her head and turned to head back down at steps.