Yeehaw

[lotf-texan]

I'm the Texan yins have been hearing about

[lotf-texas-news]

TEXAS NEWS BROADCAST

The rumors around rising security has been confirmed. Coming up next, a LIVE INTERVIEW with @lotf-texas to discuss these upcoming changes and why they have been implemented.

[lotf-texas]

Hello texas news station, I am glad to be here and interviewed. What pressing questions do you have?

[lotf-texas-news]

We actually have a pre-prepared list!! Feel free not to answer some of these, but to start...

What have been the recent efforts surrounding returning the sheriff?

How is the Texan doing?

What are some examples of the new security measures in place?

How will this security benefit Texas?

If a Texas resident wants to leave, how would they do so?

Do you have any leads on the sheriff?

Who is managing the security now that the sheriff is gone?

[lotf-texas]

Thank you for this opportunity, I will gladly reply to what I can.

We have been searching relentlessly, and although nothing has happened efforts have not stopped.

According to the Texan, lightly edited for clarity. "While I am worried, I am overall doing quite alright, I have just had a nice can of pop! I hope these kidnappers are brought to justice soon by the swift hand of Texas law, god bless Texas."

We built a wall, alongside cameras in many places with a need for them.

We will stop more kidnappings and all outside threats are able to be neutralized before another poor soul goes missing, bless the sheriff's heart.

Why would they want or need to?

Not personally, but I have heard the Texas is talking to a certain woman about some negotiations. Sounds exciting!

N/A

[lotf-texan]

It’s Coke, not pop and I didn’t say that, partner. Yeehaw.

[goblinparty]

Last night I was talking to my boyfriend, and I couldn’t think of the word ‘library’, so I said ‘book ranch’. He thought it was hilarious and started making up alternative names for ‘librarian’.

“Cowbook! Like cowboy! No…Readcher? Like Rancher? No, fuck this is hard…”

and just now I heard him yell “BOOKAROO” from the other end of the apartment in the most triumphant tone of voice i’ve ever heard

[sasquapossum]

“Howdy, pardner. Name’s Tex. Biblio Tex.”

[isuggestusingyourlocallibrary]

I suggest using your local book ranch!

[lotf-texan]

If I see one more news broadcats reminding me of my lost love, I’m throwin’ my Texan TV ‘out my window, gettin’ some sweet texan tea from my fridge, and permanently switching back to radio so help me Texan god.

[lotf-texas-news]

!!!BREAKING TEXAS NEWS!!!

the sheriff has been missing for a long time, and rumors have been going around that new security has been put up around texas

more news to come, but all texas residents should tread carefully

@lotf-texas @lotf-texan

[lotf-texas]

this is a valid news source, but please do not listen to any misinformation or rumors

I assure every resident that we are handling the situation carefully and no harm will come to anyone

[lotf-texan]

You didn’t quite tell me this before you made it such big news.

[msfisherot]

fisherot, I know what yer doin on the favrite prisoner contest

Usin yer thousand alts ta win, I see yer game

- texanon

Well that's not nice to accuse someone of rigging the game.. ☹️☹️ Quite hurtful, actually. You made me very sad... I would never do that! Have you seen me rig the boxing ring??? No?? Can you prove I rigged any contest?? I only won fair and square, Texan. Just fair.

You've been off since your sheriff went missing. Or I guess husband. Good for you.

Or bad. But that doesn't matter now right? You haven't given him any ring, so that should still be okay, right?

Eitherway, people have been doing contests throughout the entire time this town was made from the ground up, why would I rig the game by using my own alt accounts? People just love me! Maybe you should try a little bit of that. Would help you be more positive. Besides, I'm just good like that. If I was rigging it, I would have kidnapped the warden by now, but I didn't! You're taking the contest way too personally for someone who didn't even participate at all. So maybe you should try to be less paranoid and start doing whatever you texans need to do.

Not like you could do anything at all.

[lotf-texan]

Why am I bein' insulted when this wasn't me? Unless Texan is the general term for all of our residents, in which case I'll mind my business—though I will have some questions for this Tex Anon feller' about why they're married to my sheriff—I would like to know. If you think that I'd be cowardly enough to hide my face behind some anonymous mask, then you don't understand me as a texan.

[lotf-texas]

hello texas residents! if anybody has seen our sheriff please contact me or the texan ( @lotf-texan ), we are actively searching.

any information can help, whether it be completely credible or not. the key feature of our sheriff is his badge, he always has it on!!

thank you all, we hope we can be helped through this difficult time. if anybody who knows the sheriff is in distress due to his disappearance, you are able to contact us for support, we will get back to you when possible.

[lotf-texan]

sobbing drinking the texan juice we were going to share for our…

never mind 😭

[lotf-sheriff]

Sheriff, where did you go? I had something I wanted to give you.

( @lotf-texan )

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHB

[lotf-texan]

Who-

No, I have a feelin’ about who did this to you. It ain’t gonna be pretty.

[lotf-texan]

dude msfishrot just stole the sheriff

she WHAT?

She will pay for this 😡

[lotf-texas]

@lotf-texan I saw a ring on the ground, do you know whose it is??

[lotf-texan]

oh that was mine…

i was gonna give it to the sherriff but i can’t find him anywhere

[wholesome-lotf-confessions]

SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF THIS STORE ITS SO COLD AND DARK PLEASE HELP

[msfisherot]

There is no police to help you. Only I can.

[lotf-sheriff]

never say no

[msfisherot]

Well well well. Look what we have here. What are you gonna do, goody-shoes? You don't even know where they are. And I mean they, because I got @lotf-town-hall . That's right, I kidnapped another, and I'm about to do it again.

[lotf-sheriff]

oh boy we have a real problem here….

@lotf-texan any news yet pal?

[lotf-texan]

if this lady kidnaps ma sheriff i’m gonna hafta give her the ol’ texan sendoff

[wholesome-lotf-confessions]

SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF THIS STORE ITS SO COLD AND DARK PLEASE HELP

[msfisherot]

There is no police to help you. Only I can.

[lotf-texan]

*ominous guitar strum*

[lotf-bar]

You need to feed me

Uhhhhhh what do you want to eat? I can't feed you alcohol, so I'll get whatever from the grocery store

[ralphcantthinkofahandle]

Why can't he have alcohol?

[lotf-gay-cafe]

we'll give all the kids alcohol. it's an island we don't have laws who cares??

[lotf-texan]

*challenging guitar strum*

[lotf-texan]

You mentioned horses.

Can I have one please?

[lotf-texas]

yo gurt can you give @ruthlessrogeroverhere to #The Texan

@lotf-texan you can decide!

[lotf-texan]

I don't want him???

@ruthlessrogeroverhere you okay, son?

[ruthlessrogeroverhere]

no ☹️☹️☹️☹️ im not ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

[lotf-texan]

Wanna learn how to ride a horse?

[lotf-texas]

yo gurt can you give @ruthlessrogeroverhere to #The Texan

@lotf-texan you can decide!

[lotf-texan]

I don't want him???

@ruthlessrogeroverhere you okay, son?

[lotf-texan]

hi mr texan you are very handsome

Why thank you, Ms. Mary.