japanese american paul holden lore that beamed itself into in my brain as soon as ryo made his debut
his mom: Kimi Takahashi, born in 1921, grew up on a farm in Fresno.Ā
his dad: Frank Horikawa, born in 1919, grew up in LA and graduated college around six months before america entered world war ii
both Kimi and Frank are the children of Japanese immigrants (part of the Nisei generation)
Frank grows up as this all-American city boy and doesnāt speak much Japanese while Kimi is a little more connected to her roots.Ā
they meet in 1942 after Executive Order 9066 is issued and they are forcibly relocated to the Japanese American incarceration camp in Rohwer, Arkansas
they get married in camp in early 1945 (a few months before the camps start to close down)
Frank americanizes their last name to āHoldenā shortly after leaving Rohwer and Kimi starts going by āKimā at his request
Paul is born in 1947 shortly after his parents resettle in Tulsa
Kim wanted to give paul a japanese first name (i am leaning toward Isamu) but his dad refused
Frank is very much trying to distance himself and his family from their heritage in an attempt to fit in and provide his wife and child the best life he can
Kimi was closer to her heritage growing up and has a more positive relationship with her ethnicity but reluctantly follows her husbandās example because itās the 40s/50s/60s and she is playing the role of the devoted housewife
(this is a story about generational trauma!!)
but like. Paul is very much the all-american boy. he is a star football player and he gets good grades and his dadās a self-made businessman and his momās the perfect housewife and yet he feels so different from his peers in a way heās never quite felt able to acknowledge
in 1960 there were 749 Japanese families in the entire state of oklahoma and āthe number of Asian residents [in oklahoma] did not increase dramatically until the 1970s,ā so Paul is this all-american boy who grows up very isolated from people who look like him, and growing up, the very few other asian people who he is aware of (notably Two-bitās family) are on the other side of the class divide
but like, he is very much a Soc and is definitely accepted in that group of almost entirely white kids (myth of the model minority and everything) but there is still this otherness about him that makes him feel very isolated
and i think he does find himself kind of jealous of someone like Two-bit who doesnāt seem to be trying to blend in and who is fine with existing as he is. but Paulās dad is very much using assimilation into american society to deal with the trauma of the wwii era and paul is raised on that principle
i donāt really want to play into the stereotype of the strict Asian parent, but i do think that Paulās dad sets these very high expectations for him as a defense mechanism/an attempt to force his family into the status of the āmodel minority.ā As a successful and wealthy Japanese American businessman in 1960s Oklahoma, he has to be twice as perfect to be taken as seriously as a white man, and he wants his son to be successful, too, so he drills that message into Paulās head from a pretty early age.
and i think that probably fucks Paul up a little. for years he doesnāt really get why his dadās expectations are so high and he feels like heās never going to be good enough and he is a teenage boy in the 60s so he doesnāt know how to like. express an emotion and his feelings of inadequacy come out as resentment and anger that is often directed towards his dad
Paul grows up not knowing about the incarceration and how/where his parents met but his mom very casually mentions something about it when heās around 15-16 and heās like ??? and so she explains some stuff to him and he is understandably shocked and above all pretty pissed at his dad for keeping this huge thing from him for so long
so that night he and Darry get drunk together and he starts off just being like āFUCK my dad frā but then he kind of like actually talks about his relationship with his race and his heritage for the first time
(i wrote a fic about this you can read it here!)
his dynamic with Darry is like. they are both jealous of each other in this very abstract way because neither one of them feels like they belong anywhere but there is also something extremely homoerotic about it. they kind of allow themselves to be more soft and open with each other and itās clear they have a bond that none of the other Soc boys share
I think after Paul finds out about his parentsā past (and after he sleeps off the ensuing hangover) he goes snooping and finds a box of old photos and stuff from their time in Arkansas and thereās this photograph from their wedding and they are clearly in this like kind of rundown recreation center/high school gym-type space and their clothes are nothing fancy but they look more in love than heās ever seen them and itās this really surreal experience that makes him feel a little sick so he puts the box back and pretends he never saw it
when he and Darry stop being friends he loses the only person heās ever been able to talk to about the things that matter and he becomes pretty closed off emotionally and doesnāt really allow himself to feel anything real and tries twice as hard to assimilateĀ
Joining the other Soc boys in jumping greasers and wreaking general havoc is kind of a coping mechanism for the debilitating anger that he is constantly feeling but itās also an unsuccessful attempt to fit in with these all-American boys
He tries so so hard to fit in and never really feels like he belongs, especially after he and Darry stop being friends
idk there is just something so purposeful about the choice to have a Japanese American actor portray this character and i think thereās so fucking much to explore within that choice <3
Y'all ever think about how scared Sodapop must have been watching Darry constantly stress about the bills and keeping Ponyboy safe?
Do you ever think about how Sodapop probably watched his older brother, the weight of the world on Darry's shoulders, and thought I couldn't do that.
Imagine Sodapop watching Ponyboy sleep and worrying, the fear of losing Darry and having to be the one to take care of their kid brother keeping him awake. Sodapop being so afraid of having to be the one in charge of things, of having to be the one paying all the bills and keeping Ponyboy safe. Imagine Sodapop staring at his checks from the DX and all he can think is it isn't enough, not now and certainly not if they lost Darry. Sure he helps but doing it alone? The thought is terrifying.
Imagine him watching Ponyboy and Darry fight and wondering if Ponyboy would fight with him like that if they lost Darry the way they did their mom and dad.
Imagine Sodapop being so terrified of losing his big brother because he knows he just couldn't do it alone.
Idk in my head this was funny but lookin at it now, itās kinda angsty, huh?
anyhow, I like to think that after the events of the book, Steve and Two-Bit hang out with Ponyboy at school more- Two-Bit because he and Pony get along well and Steve because itās what Soda would do. I hc that Steve doesnāt have a ton of school friends anyhow, so while he acts like heās hanging with Pony just for Ponyās sake, a part of him kinda does like the company. Still, itās not the same as Soda.
(I didnāt draw Two-Bit because I figured he actually does have a lotta friends and doesnāt rely on Sodapop being there lol. Maybe heās on a date w/ Marcia or something idk)
(Also look I drew a car!! I heavily relied on reference images lol. Gave Steve a late 40s(?) Chevy Styleline, because that seemed like a common enough car that was outdated enough to belong to someone who doesnāt have a whole lotta money to spend on cars. Kinda projecting here ācuz I drive a shitty 20 year old Hyundai, and if I donāt get the mustang of my dreams then neither does Steve Randle. āCourse Iād also kill for a 40s styleline, so really Steveās doing better than I am either way lol)
fun reminder that āgrease got a holdā and āruns in the familyā both have the exact same instrumental introduction, but āgrease got a holdā is built up with a bunch of different instruments but āruns in the familyā only has what sounds like three instruments doing the same intro š„²
Unfortunate Soda really is a middle childā¢ļø. Even the fandom is like āheās hot and funnyā and donāt talk about all his issues or look very into him.
Not to say it doesnāt happen or heās completely ignored, and Iām happy Darry is getting a new appreciation but whereās Sodaās essays and dotting? Djsnsmsm
youāve seen Steve x Soda and Steve x Evieā¦but here I propose steviepop! aka āSteve has two handsā
(also look at my Evie design!)
anyhow a bit ago I typed up a fic about them on ao3, so if ya like this painting and wanna see my exploration of the dynamic, check it out! itās linked under the cut
(and @jamandjazz youāre also one of my favorite people on here fyi! hereās the soda x steve x evie as promised lol)
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