E @lotusboa - Tumblr Blog

equatorjournal

Arqueológicas, 1957.

graphicfearlesswomen

Carmen Nácher

fernandalyisdeleting-deactivate

https://www.instagram.com/p/CAgv1kbA3bZ/

samanthadoodles

All my girls

xoshiii

All four of these women have full permission to destroy me.

renellaice

home<3

marxistbarbie-deactivated202109

one thing i’ve learned in therapy since i was diagnosed w borderline personality disorder (or emotionally unstable personality disorder which is what it is increasingly being called in the UK) is that childhood neglect doesn’t always have to be ur parents failing to take care of you physically. i was always clothed, fed and cared for but i was still neglected of something vital to my development my entire childhood because my primary caregiver (my mother) was completely emotionally unavailable to me. it wasn’t until i sat in therapy aged 23 and had someone tell me that parents are supposed to talk to you about your feelings, take them seriously, give you validation for them, etc. and that when they don’t this basically stunts your brain’s growth and prevents you from having the foundation needed to regulate your emotions as an adult. emotional neglect is a form of childhood trauma and more of us have it than we are even aware.

children who are emotionally neglected often grow up to become adults who struggle to:

feel things in moderation (all or nothing mindset regarding emotions, interests, romantic and platonic friendships)

be certain of the reality of their feelings (am i actually depressed or is this an act?)

have a realistic view others feelings towards them (all my friends secretly hate me im sure of it OR this person was nice to me once now we are in Love)

mentalize through conflicts and disagreements (not taking the time to consider other people’s thoughts and feelings before catastrophising and assuming their actions were calculated specifically and maliciously to hurt you)

sadly, it’s often the parents who were emotionally neglected themselves as children who grow up to do the same to their own children. it’s hard to give someone else something you were never given and therefore aren’t even aware of is a need that has to be fulfilled. whilst physical neglect and abuse is almost always accompanied by emotional neglect, children with an otherwise happy childhood can experience emotional neglect on its own which can make it quite hard to begin to process as a trauma. it is really important to acknowledge that emotional neglect was a form of abuse that you faced as a child and accept that this has had an impact on your life as an adult in order to begin to heal and recover.