Coyote In The Streets Dog In The Sheets

26|CA|Gay AF| Hi! I'm Hunter! I'm a Coyote committing crimes against the english language, one yap at a time. this blog is mostly sfw but i do reblog porn and horny things, so this is 18+ only, sorry!

[loud-triangle-thoughts]

It’s almost penis explosion tuesday

Show her you care by detonating her dick.

#PenisExplosionTuesday

[loud-triangle-thoughts]

It’s that time of the week again!!

#PenisExplosionTuesday

Show everyone how important they are to you

by blowing up their 🅱️nises!!

[loud-triangle-thoughts]

YOU KNOW WHAT DAY IT IS!

It's PenisExplosionTuesday!!

Let them know they're appreciated by Exploding their Erection!

[loud-triangle-thoughts]

We find ourselves on this fantastic day once again, friends!

That's right, It's #PenisExplosionTuesday!!

Share your appreciation by Combusting their Cock!

[dappermouth]

And then you had that dream again.

[loud-triangle-thoughts]

Can i pet them? I'd pet them.

[the-semicolonoscopy]

It’s Pride Month Eve, so leave out some milk for Freddie Mercury and his cats.

[the-semicolonoscopy]

Annual reblog of Freddie and his magnificent cats.

[tumbalendar]

happy Pride Eve!

[tomboyjessie13]

Happy Pride Eve!

[loud-triangle-thoughts]

Oprah giving away eternal damnation and she's shouting "you get eternal damnation and you get eternal damnation!" And then she tells everyone to look under their seats and there's just a pit to hell that sucks them in. And then the audience is gone and Oprah smiles.

[amygdalae]

still fucks me up what a bad rap coyotes get in peoples eyes. like ive talked to people who  see em as like. gross pests who should be culled. theyre literally just as cool as wolves just a lil smaller and less confident. i love them with all my heart to balance out all the coyote haters out there, coyotes rule theyre doing great

[amygdalae]

imagine having hatred in your heart for this beast

[amygdalae]

this post was so fucking funny I literally was just like “I like coyotes I think they’re cool” and so many people fucking hated it. Shut up I’m trying. To enjoy animal

[inbabylontheywept]

back in highschool, our cross country team would always run by the canals. which is also where the coyotes lived, and had their pups. so we would occasionally get “escorted” by a guard coyote that was trying to protect a litter.

if you have not been escorted by a coyote, its a pretty silly experience. they follow behind you, but at a respectable distance, occasionally doing weird bark-yip-yodels. unless you slow down. then they continuously do their bark-yip-yodels, as a reminder that you should not linger near their babies. very chatty critters, coyotes. they always left our fastest guy alone because he’d toss the last inch of his mid run gas station hotdogs their way

there are such wonders in this world for those with the eyes to see them.

[inbabylontheywept]

I used to do cross country in high school, and there was this guy on the team that was wonderful. Great guy. But his advice to everyone that asked how to get good was to run 20k a day.

If you don't run, I'll just tell you, most people's bodies cannot take that kind of abuse. No matter how much you train, you will not be able to run 20k a day. It's like how you can't train to make your cuts heal faster. You recover as fast as you recover. So while a big part of what made this guy so succesful was the dedication and mental toughness needed to actually run 20k a day, an equally big part was that he healed like fucking Wolverine. And that's fine, but it would've been nice if he knew that and stopped telling new guys to commit suicide by jogging.

Different guy on the team ran like, 5-6k a day, which actually isn't all that much. His problem when he gave advice was that he didn't really get that 5-6k a day doesn't generally produce elite results for most people. He was lucky in the sense that he didn't have to work all that hard to get great results, and unlucky in the sense that if he pushed himself much further than that, he fell apart.

I think about those two whenever I get advice from succesful people. The very things that make them outliers also make their advice useless to most people. Worse, they're often outliers on totally separate ends of the same spectrum, so their advice will be contradictory.

[inbabylontheywept]

@creamsoda-slut no, this was a thing on our team too. The 20k guy had a cast iron stomach and he loved hotdogs. I eat hotdogs as a like, a nostalgia thing, but he just truly genuinely loved them. So some runs, he'd duck into a gas station and buy some. Pair it with the fact that this guy also had a major league pot belly, and it was a sort of accidental psychological warfare tactic. I'd be running along, panting, sweating, dying of heastroke by the AZ canals, and then Mr. 20k would blitz past, potbelly jutting 3 inches past his nose, a greasy gas station hotdog in both hands, and then he'd yell HEY BABS YER DOINGF FERFIFIC and I'd realize in the kind of sluggish way you realize everything when it's over 100 degrees that he had a third hotdog in his mouth and wasn't even out of breath. And then he'd slap my ass and chortle through his hotdog in this sort of huffy HEUHEUHEUHEUHEU and just rocket over the horizon. It was incredible. Like running with Dionysus.

Another time, we had a girl who wore a tankini on a run to the pool. Some of the other girls were Scandalized, so the coach made a thing about it and she was super embarrassed to be called out and then for the next pool run he showed up in a yellow speedo, gave himself a wedgie up to his nips and just slow jogged in front of the complainers the whole way to the pool. There was nothing they could do. If they tried to go fast, he could just pick up speed indefinitely, he was impossibly fast, and if they went slow, he, he had no issue just taking a mozy with his buns out.

Nobody complained about the tankini after that.

At another race, him and a few other varsity were having a contest to see who could pee up a tree the highest. He won when he ran up to the tree, still pissing, and did a sort of half-backflip that resulted in him falling straight on his head while also whipping piss like 12 feet up the tree. Everyone cheered him on so fucking hard, and he was ecstatic, I distinctly remember doing one of thus chest bump things with him and getting pushed back like 8 feet, but immediately afterwards he had his race and he kept getting lost because it turned out that the whole landing directly on his head thing gave him a concussion. And despite going on like, 3 wrong turns, he still won that race.

I was never friends with him personally, I just kind of watched him in awe from a distance. An incredible human being. One of my favorite people of all time. Only flaw that he had is that he casually would tell new guys to join him for workouts, and then the rest of us poor saps who had actually tried it once would go over and have to tell the new guy to Actually Please Don't Do That.

[conkreetmonkey]

Dude, that was fucking Wario. You met Wario.

[inbabylontheywept]

[inbabylontheywept]

I'm not much of an artist, but this was my best attempt.

[risk-repeater]

this job market is a fucking nightmare

[friedchoco234]

Just a quick sketch =) I thought the drawing I made was cute.

I'm tired of being the victim, tired of suffering, tired of crying. I'm changing my life for the better, little by little I know I'll improve.

[ooppo]

The beginning of the end for every digital artist

[redstonedust]

its probably a normal sign for the economy that all of my adulthood fantasies are like "imagine having your own kitchen living room and bathroom to decorate" "what if i could get on a train" "maybe one day i could purchase a sturdy pair of shoes" "i should save and invest in a single bicycle"

[vetchtibbles]

I wish they made it even marginally possible to get a job like I’m so fucking sorry I don’t have a rare but also highly demanded skillset, an agreeable disposition, and the ability to survive off of three nickels a week I’m soooo sorry

[saphiromik]

he so small only need one popcorn 🍿

(ref below cut)

[maxleggy]

friends we are off to a GREAT start today

[status-quo-hater]

I think one of the funniest abortion stances I've heard was from my parents neighbor. He's a like, hard-core libertarian viking larper guy who is very tall and very fat and very bald.

He believes a fetus is human with a soul, but also its "basically attacking the woman's body" so if she wants to get rid of it, that's "basically self-defense". He compared it to shooting a home invader. So he supports abortion not as healthcare, but as killing a baby in self-defense

[status-quo-hater]

Y'know I'm so glad someone reminded me of this. Because this was also discussed.

My stepmother did NOT like the way her Libertarian Viking Neighbor framed pregnancy as the fetus "attacking the woman". She incredulously told him this was extremely disrespectful to expectant mothers to portray pregnancy as so violent and negative.

Libertarian Viking Neighbor's response was that people consensually hurt each other all the time, and "there's like a whole community about that, with the acronym the one that starts with a B" And his reasoning was that if the mother was consenting to bring attacked by the baby, it in fact wasn't violent and negative because there was consent.

He brought up people consensually hurting each other, didn't go for one of the obvious answers like boxing or body mods or something, no he went STRAIGHT TO BDSM and he DIDN'T EVEN REMEMBER THE ACRONYM

[ratbuchet]

sometimes i feel like an anime protagonist the way my basic dripless ass bagged a baddie with a cool design

[ratbuchet]

SHUT UP

[anarchistmemedistro]

[87sukiyaki]