Late night thoughts
I’ve had a lot of time to think and process over who I have become in the past few years. I have changed drastically from who I used to be to who I am now. I know life is about change and it will happen, but I can’t help but wonder if I lost who I was. I have allowed myself to do things because I was searching for something whether that be love, completion, or acceptance. Who knows? What I do know is that I compromised myself for others. I let others take advantage of me and I let others define me. I let others choose my path. I gave the power to everyone but myself. I have spent years stressing over where I am supposed to end up, who I am supposed to be with, what my future holds. I’ve allowed myself to fall with no regard on how to pick myself back up. I’ve given trust to whom did not earn it. I have loved to whom did not deserve it. I have cared for whom did not appreciate it. All for what? Because I was desperate enough to feel something other than what I have been feeling. If I keep going down this path, grasping at whatever feels right at the moment, I’m going to continue to fall. Instead, I’m going to hold myself up and fight. I’m going to take back control. I’m going to show the world who I am. Because who I am is a force to be reckoned with. I will not will myself unto people who have a blatant disregard for others. I will not allow them to have any power on my self worth. I am me, and I will be the best me that I can. No one is going to take that from me. I can promise you that.
