I posted a year ago but that doesn't mean that my life is fine. Emotions were hidden and let it pass, but in the end, i am the only one fighting the nightmares of life.
Another proof that life is not fair. Some people get all the attention, others get engaged and others are favored. All of them are just like me, not worthy, but they were put first. They are as dirty as me, but they were seen tarnished free. And here I am, getting all the dirt and bad things in me.
Why my life is not getting better, Christmas has passed but nothing. I am too shy to ask for a gift and never expected nothing will give me an effort. I just accepted that I am not those 'favored and blessed', and it hurts me so much. Like an acid melting my heart. It is not of the gift but the thought and the effort.
Now, here we go again, accept and accept. Maybe the life that i dream of is not for me. Maybe my life is miserable, always surviving for nothing. It's just because i know I'm a mess. No one wants a messy person that could be also a danger.
I have a great envy on those 'favored and blessed'. I worked hard and sacrificed a lot, nothing was left for me. Am i just a stray waiting for a piece of grain to fall? And that grain is just a piece of blessing? Maybe.
🕛2:36am📆 26 Dec 22 📍 Antipolo
