( 西村 力 ) ⓘ 𝑺𝑴𝑼𝑻! ⋆ oral (f receiving) ⋆ praise kink ⋆ bsf!niki ⋆ mutual masturbation ⋆ trouble/reader being avoidant ⋆ angst ⋆ niki using “i love you” like a band aid ⋆ bfs!niki ⋆ phone sex : 2222
──── in which ︵ you, aka trouble, miss niki while he’s in japan. and as things are about to peak, niki says something that has your blood running cold.
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“shit baby, been lookin’ forward to this all fuckin’ day.” niki pants, his voice airy and strained as he desperately fists his cock, a mix of his precum and spit acting as lube creating a slick sound that fills the silence alongside your pitiful whimpers.
you’ve got your laptop set up between your spread legs, your back against your pillows and your head lolling back against your headboard as your fingers are buried to the hilt in your soaking cunt, the ministrations squelching as your pace borders on pathetic and needy, niki’s name spilling from your lips in high-pitched whines and whimpers.
“c'mon pretty, i know i taught you to fuck that pretty cunt better than that.” niki groans as he watches you fuck your self over the facetime call, his eyes are glued to the sight of your sticky, glossy, and soaking wet heat on display just for him.
“m’so close ki.” you moan, rubbing your clit in tight circles before returning to finger fucking yourself, your thighs trembling and threatening to clamp shut the closer your orgasm creeps to you.
“let go baby, lemme see you put on a show.” he hums before cutting himself off with a moan, something deep and guttural as he fucks his hand, his own release nearly being triggered by watching you push through yours, watching a ring of cum form around the base of your fingers as you continue going, overstimulating yourself just enough that you’re about to cum again and watching your back arch and the delicious moans coming through the speakers finally sends niki over the edge and he’s moaning, loud and unfiltered. and normally this very situation would have you climaxing in seconds, but this time, it makes your heart drop to your stomach.
he just moaned his ex girlfriend’s name. while on call with you. you’re slow to remove your fingers and get up, fighting through the trembling aftershocks and whispers of overstimulation circulating through your veins. you mute yourself on the call and turn the camera off while you gather random clothing from the floor, halfheartedly getting dressed while niki’s voice spills through the speakers, muffled and exhausted, wondering where you went. you quickly unmute, not bothering to turn your camera back on.
“i’ve gotta go.” your voice is clipped and shaky, the humiliation starting to settle deep in your chest and your bones and you hate that your eyes are starting to burn.
“trouble, baby what’s up?” niki prods, picking up on the change in your demeanour and you don’t bother answering him before clicking the red button and shutting your laptop.
your hands are clammy and sticky with your own release and your feel dirty and slightly used.
you don’t know what to do with yourself, with the embarrassment that you can’t seem to ignore. the fact that he was thinking of her made you feel sick. and you wonder if he met up with her while in japan, he had mentioned a few weeks prior to buying tickets to don toliver that she had moved there.
and that thought makes your stomach churn and your head starts to spin. you thought that maybe he’d stop seeing other girls the more you started to establish a situation-ship-esque fling. but clearly, you were wrong.
and you don’t know what embarrassed you more, thinking you’d be the only one he was seeing or the fact that within two days apart, he had gone to someone else to satisfy himself and was thinking about her while making you cum.
in a futile attempt to distract yourself, you step into your bathroom and run the water for a shower, scrubbing at your skin to get try and remove the sweat and sticky residue leftover from multiple orgasms but, just like your thoughts, the sticky feeling clings to you. it’s almost as if you’re trying to scrub the shame and anger and humiliation from your body, from your chest and bloodstream and you can’t.
you can’t get rid of everything you’re feeling and before you know, you’ve crumpled into a ball against the stall of your shower, tears rolling down your cheeks. and you know that this reaction is only going to force to look deeper into why you’re feeling this way.
and in the back of your mind, you already know why.
after your shower you hope to distract yourself by making yourself some food, you’ve always enjoyed cooking and baking and often turned to it as a means to exit reality and your constantly spiraling thoughts for a few hours. but as you stir the pasta swirling in boiling and salty water, you keep cracking back to the moment that you listened to the guy you’ve been in love with and sleeping with for quite some time, moan another girl’s name.
and not just any girl’s name, his first love’s name, the first girl that broke his heart. the first girl that ever really left an impact on him. the very girl that changed his outlook on relationships and love and sex. the girl you spent many nights gluing him back together over.
and the fact that he thought about her while watching you in an incredibly vulnerable state stings. it pegs the question of you not being enough for niki, visually and sexually.
and that truth is a hard pill to swallow because if you aren’t enough, that means that you and niki have to go back to being just best friends, and after everything you’ve said and done, you don’t know if you can. before you sink deeper into the abyss of thoughts and worries, you force yourself to call jisoo, your best friend outside of niki and his friends. the girl you’ve always been able to count on.
“hey babe, what’s up?” she hums, smiling bright and content before noticing the deep frown settling in your eyebrows and the pout tugging at your lips.
“this is possibly a bit “tmi” but niki and i were just having phone sex and-” you chuckle at the awkwardness of having to say it aloud, because truly, it sounds stupid.
“okay,” she hums, dragging out the sound of the “ay” portion of the word, giggling and waiting as you take a deep breath.
“and as we, you know, finished, he moaned some other chick’s name-“ and before you can finish, bun gasps, her eyes wide and the shock is visible and she’s about to laugh. but before she can, you cut her off.
“but it was yuna’s name.” you whisper, turning off the element that your pasta was cooking on and taking it to the sink to drain.
“wait like yuna as in his ex yuna? the girl that cheated on him after senior year?”
as you finish cooking your dinner, the two of you continue talking. jisoo gives you the space to discuss your feelings and helps you understand why it hurts as much as it does, and you’re reluctant to agree but truthfully, you know she’s right. you feel something deeper for niki, which shouldn’t be as much of a shock as it because the two of you quite literally confessed your feelings for each other the first time you fucked, but because nothing really came of it, you didn’t think it held any actual weight.
as the days until niki comes home begin to dwindle, you’re slowly getting over your embarrassment and shame, hoping that by the next time you see niki, you’ll be able to laugh at the situation but for right now, you’re content letting yourself process your feelings and after talking to bun, you feel a hell of a lot better.
niki on the other hand, is lost and a little angry. you’ve been airing his texts and ignoring his dms, you won’t even respond to the tiktoks he’s sent you. basically, you’ve ghosted him and for some reason, it stings.
he doesn’t know why you’re so distant so suddenly and considering the last time you talked, you were on great terms with him, he’s determined to figure out what threw you off.
you’re a bit taken back when niki sends a text letting you know that he’s throwing a party the night he gets back, and despite not wanting to see him, you send a thumbs up and decide it’d be good to get out for a bit.
as you step into the boys’ house, you weren’t surprised by the sheer amount of people gathering around. the party niki was throwing was in full swing, the music is loud and you can feel the bass in your throat, there’s coloured lights flashing from a corner and the smell of weed is pungent. and for a moment, your body settles. after keeping yourself shut in your apartment for days on end, you feel like you’re back in your element.
you’re in the middle of a conversation with eunji, sunghoon’s girlfriend, and before you can tell her to come with to take shots, you’re both being pulled into the kitchen by jay who has got three shots already lined up, causing you to burst out laughing.
“where’s jisoo?” jay shouts over the music as the three of you clink your shot glasses together, tapping them to the table and downing them all simultaneously.
“she said she’ll be here in about an hour!” eunji hums, answering the question before you had a chance to. the three of you continue to talk and take shots in the kitchen when jisoo arrives, which the leads to you feeding her shots to catch up to you, jay, and eunji.
within a few hours, you’re pretty drunk and you can’t stop laughing as you leave your group of friends who are dancing in the living room, jay and jisoo standing on the table, grinding against one another, their laughs loud and unfiltered.
you need a second of quiet for a few moments, your head is fuzzy and your face is warm and the smoke clinging to the room is suffocating.
you’re leaning against the outside wall of their house, the breeze cool and grounding as you check your phone through bleary eyes. you’re cleaning up your eyeliner when you hear footsteps behind you and the laugh that follows them is one you were dreading. you keep your back to niki and text jisoo to come rescue you.
“oh shit my bad, didn’t think anyone was out here right now.” niki laughs, his words a little slurred and slow, clearly drunk and a little high.
you don’t respond as you turn to walk into the house but niki stops you.
“wait, trouble?” he squints, his eyes are glossy and red but they focus on the tattoo winding up your arm.
“what the fuck? you’ve been ghost since we called while i was in japan.”
“i’m not doing this here.” you mutter, looking everywhere but his face, the lingering feeling of shame of embarrassment creeping back up your spine.
“ki please.” you plead, focusing on a rock sitting at the toe of your boot, pretending to find interest in it.
“no. you can’t even look me in the eye y/n, what happened?” niki prods, his voice cracking just slightly.
“what? whose name? what the fuck are you on about?” niki exclaims, confused and frustrated by the half truths you’re giving him.
“yuna’s name. when you were back in japan.” you sigh, finally looking at him and you see how it slowly starts to dawn on him what you mean about that night when the two of you were facetiming.
niki’s face falls as he remembers thinking about his ex girlfriend after he had run into her just before calling you, his stomach twists just slightly and he sees the way you’ve curled in on yourself, the way you’re almost bracing for impact and you’re using your shame and embarrassment like a shield.
“jesus christ touble, you’re doing all this because i accidentally moaned some chick’s name?” he scoffs,
“niki you don’t understand how humiliating that was. i was quite literally all spread out for you and you were thinking about some other girl. and it wasn’t just any girl’s name, it was your exes name. it made me feel used and so, so stupid.” you snap, pushing your finger into his chest, tears welling in your eyes again and niki sighs, guilt gnawing at him as he pulls you into a hug.
“shit trouble, i’m so sorry. i had just run into her before we called and she briefly popped into my mind. i promise you i wasn’t actually thinking about her, okay? i love you and i want you, no one else.” he whispers, pressing a kiss into your hair as you whimper against his chest, the alcohol clouding your brain as you shake your head.
“don’t say that if you don’t mean it.”
“i do mean it baby, i really do.”
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