Kiss My Blog

[lovekneezah]

How not to irritate yourself... A study in the art of compulsive dating

I figure I should start blogging again. I’ve never been much into blogging, so perhaps again isn’t the correct word. It’s been over a year since my ex and I broke up and I’ve dived head first into the world of dating. So much so that I rarely remember the names of the people I go out with. Quite often it’s a one and done situation. When I’m old and grey I might want to reminisce on these days, so I figure I should start recording my misadventures in dating. I’m also hoping it’ll cause some self reflection and help me figure out why I’m so damn critical of men. Maybe I’ve watched too many Korean dramas.

Today I had an early morning coffee date with someone I had been messaging off of tinder. A little bit of a back story, this guy had randomly messaged me on Facebook. I thought I might know him and relied to his message… As it turns out he was a stranger just looking to strike up a conversation (or maybe friendship). Since I don’t make it a habit of making friends with randoms on Facebook I very politely ignored him and went on with my daily life.

Sometime later, he showed up on my tinder feed. I decided to give it a go and swipe right. We were a match and he shortly contacted me afterward. I’m not sure why chatting up with randoms on tinder is better than Facebook. I guess that’s just how I roll. He seemed ok and we chatted for a bit. After about a week or so we arranged for a coffee date which happened to be this morning.

I didn’t know too much about him. The basics… He’s 31 and ESL recruiter. 180 cm tall and boxes in his free time. All pluses so far. He was eager to meet and very flexible with time and location. More pluses. But, as we were arranging the location he wanted to meet at the subway station closest to my apartment. Possibly very sketchy or perhaps trying to pick a place which would be most convenient for me. Not quite sure.

We met near a subway station. He was tall (probably not 180 though) and better looking than I expected. He died his hair brown which I don’t normally dig, but it seemed to work for him. He suggested Starbucks and we made our way there. Just as we were about to go in he wanted to know what I wanted to order. I figured he was asking because he was concerned about me ordering an “expensive” drink. And to his credit Starbucks is pretty pricey here. It can be more than a meal in some restaurants. I went to the counter first and ordered my drink and paid. I would have paid for his as well, but he wondered off to the desserts and gazed at the cakes for a bit. I never have a problem paying for myself, but was a little surprised as Korean guys are always to jazzed to pay. Strange but not a problem. I guess the main problem is myself for analyzing his behavior.

We chatted for a bit about nothing in particular. He asked a few detailed questions about where I lived and what I was doing later which also put me on edge a bit. I start wondering why he wanted to know and if he was trying to discretely invite himself back to my place. A bit paranoid perhaps.

After about an hour or so I found myself really wanting to leave. I was with a tall, attractive guy that seemed relatively nice… I just couldn’t shake off this weird vibe I was getting. I guess I should calm down a bit and give him the benefit of the doubt. I guess we’ll have to go out again and see

[archiemcphee]

We love it when the natural world produces something that’s as awesomely cute as it is surprisingly creepy. Such is the case with this endearing little caterpillar whose face bears a striking resemblance to Hello Kitty, complete with adorable kitty ears.

This kawaii caterpillar is the larval form of the Chinese Bush Brown butterfly (Mycalesis gotama).

Photo via Meiwa Suisan

[via Neatorama]

[belittlings]

When your past calls, don’t answer. It has nothing new to say.

Unknown (via creatingaquietmind)

[lovekneezah]

Money, money, money...

OK~ So remember how I said the last time I visited my friend it was all cupcakes and rainbows? Well...  Something may have happened taint my rose colored glasses.  As I may have mentioned, my friend has a lot of really great qualities... She's spontaneous, outgoing and fun.  Which for the most part are really good things.  However, sometimes her carefree personality leads her to do things like sleep with her best friend's husband or cause dramatic / embarrassing scene in a restaurant, or perhaps even steal from a friend's wallet.  Of those three examples, sleeping with the husband is probably the worst of it, but instead I'm going to talk about the stealing.  Mainly because I think that one happened to me.  

You see Tuesday night, right before going into the sauna I had over 60,000 won in my wallet.  I don't normally keep track of how much I have but this situation is a little unique. During the summer months I only get paid in American dollars, leaving my Korean account empty (so much for savings).  I need to carefully budget how much I spend because I need to pay for everything in cash.  If I would have budgeted a bit better I should have saved some won in my Korean account, but you lived and you learn.  Perhaps this is something I'll work on for next year.  If I need extra money, I have to go to a special ATM and use my Canadian card to take out money from my account in Canada.

Anyway... Just before going to the sauna, my friend suggested we get facials. I asked her how much they were to be sure I would have enough money if we decided to get one.  They were about 35,000.  So I did a quick wallet check to ensure I would be OK, which in fact I was.  I didn't do and exact count, but it looked like I had more than 60 in there.

I bought a drink at the sauna for 2,000 won. After that we headed to her place watched a movie and fell asleep, so I know I didn't spend any additional money.  The next morning I woke up and went to the bathroom to wash up and get changed.  I don't think I spent any more than 10 minutes getting ready.  During that time she put some lip gloss, pencils and candy in my bag.  She was going to be leaving Korea in the next few weeks and wanted to start cleaning out her place. I thought it was a nice gesture.  We said out goodbyes and I headed to the bus stop.  Before getting on the bus, I decided I should stop at the local 7-11 an put some money on my transit card before getting on the bus. That's when I noticed... I only had 30,000 won in my wallet.  I started to get a strange and uncomfortable feeling.  Did I somehow spend the money somewhere?  Did I count it incorrectly yesterday?  Did my friend help herself for 30,000 - 40,000?  I kind of have the feeling she took it, but am not 100% confident. I would hate to accuse her of something she didn't do.  I guess I'll just be stuck with a bunch of questions that I'll never know the answer to...

[lovekneezah]

Adorable sauna in Incheon. The sleeping rooms were built like traditional Korean houses. There were also displays and cultural artifacts galore. Above is a pic of a model of a naught boys school. Too cute!

[lovekneezah]

Old Friends

Last night I spent the night at an old friend's place in Incheon. She was the first 위국인 친구 (foreign friend) I made in Korea. I think we've known each other for about 4 years... It was a particularly hot and sweaty day and I was making my usually trek home from school. I was wearing a very cute, ruffly polyester number from gmarket that was exacerbating the sweatiness situation. Kind of weird I actually remember what I was wearing the time. To cool down and hydrate I decided to make a trip to Dunkin Donuts. It was kind of on the way home and the only big chain coffee shop in the area. No Starbucks, Coffee Bean or Caffee Bene out in that neck of the woods. I entered DD and and queued in line. In front of me was a person in some of the blondest hair I've seen. I'd had been in Korea for about six months and had failed to meet any other native English speakers. As she was ordering she used Korean I was beyond impressed. A potential friend! Yay! Being beyond super shy I didn't really know how to introduce myself. Luckily she struck up some conversation was we waited for out coffees. She was a high energy teacher with a passion for music that taught at a school just down the street from my apartment. We discovered we were close in age which was nice because so many other teachers are much younger. Not that I have a problem with younger people, it's just that a lot of people that come here fresh out of uni are heavily into the party circuit which isn't really my cup of tea (or shot of soju). We exchanged phone numbers and ended up hanging out quite a bit. She's a very lively and outgoing character so she exposed me to a side of Korea I might not have seem without her help. We worked out together fairly regularly for the 3 years I lived in Incheon. She introduced me to one of my all time favorite hiking spots and an assortment of cool restaurants and bars. After I changed jobs and moved to Seoul our friendship fractured. I tired to keep in touch for a bit and even came and visited her a few times. For some reason she only wanted to meet and hangout in her apartment which would have been OK a few times... But I got a bit frustrated because she really didn't want to meet anywhere besides her place and it was a 2+ hour trek for me to get there. She also developed a preoccupation with my salary. We were both public school teachers so the pay scale was common knowledge. My new job was obviously higher paying and I really wasn't comfortable talking about it. She even directly asked me what my pay was and I hummed and hawed a bit. Luckily my pay is partially in Korean won and partially in American dollars, so it really is kind of hard to figure out how much I make without knowing the exchange rates. Back to the point... I ended up staying at her place because I'm still on vacation and she's just finishing off her summer camp and preparing to leave Korea. She's been here 5 / 6 years so it's really hard to believe she's leaving. It looks like her interest in Korean culture / men has dwindled, so I guess she's off to bigger and better things. She's going to teach in another country, then planning on coming back. So I guess it's not her finial departure, but she won't be back for a while. The visit was really like back in the old days. There wasn't any weirdness and it was really great to hang out with her. I actually wasn't planning on staying the night, but changed my mind because we were having so much fun. She cooked and amazing healthy meal, we chatted, hit the gym, made smoothies and ended the night with a trip to the sauna and an episode of mistresses. All in all it was a great experience.^^

[lovekneezah]

A little stress relief shopping at Tony Moly. The cappuccino exfoliation scub comes in a container that looks like a coffee mug. The cuteness is killing me.^^

[lovekneezah]

No cut backs...

Do you ever get the feeling a stranger is intentionally trying to mess with you? I always wonder if its just my imagination or there are actually people out there with secret trolling agendas. If there people really do exist, what exactly inspires them? If you knew each other there are a plethora of reasons you could possibly provoke anger, irritation and all sorts of other lovely emotions along a similar vein…

At the Studio Ghibli exhibit I kind of got the feeling a particular young lady was trying to harass me. It was by far one of the most crowded shows I’ve ever been there. We probably went during peak hours which didn’t help matters much. You literally had to for a long line and and side step your way through the exhibit. There was no leisurely strolling through the gallery. Anyway… I was side stepping along shoulder to should with the person ahead of me and behind me when suddenly a 20ish woman step directly between me and the cell I was looking at. This was not and easy feat because I was about a 2 feet away from the cell. Granted it was super crowded so I just wait for the person ahead of me to side step a bit so I could get back to my place in line… But after I side stepped she side stepped directly in front of me. This happened about 3 times and I began to get pretty frustrated. It was hot crowded and I was starting to get the impression that this girl was intentionally trying to block my view. Luckily it was close the the end of the portion we were looking at, so I decided to skip ahead and line and queue for the next section. I got in front of the first cell, and lo and behold, who is trying to push her way in front on me again! Luckily I was in a position to block her from cutting in front of me again. Then she suddenly said in a relatively loud voice , “that person is too / so big." She said this in Korean using a derivative person (kind of like bitch) in Korean. I turned around and she was standing directly behind me. I gave her the look of death for about 5 seconds… She pretended not to notice me. Given my face was about a foot from her face, it’s a little hard to believe she didn’t know I was there. I don’t think she expected me to understand Korean. I turned back around with my blood boiling. Luckily I didn’t see here again after that. But seriously, what gives? Who does that sort of thing? And why?!

[anrsoto-deactivated20180319]

[lovekneezah]

Come on baby light my fire^^

[lovekneezah]

Studio Ghibli Exhibit @ Hanam Art Center

Tons of amazing illustrations followed by a sticker wall and gift shop with Totoro goodness^^

[lovekneezah]

Free coffee voucher courtesy of Creepy Deepy (aka Sexy Jack)

[lovekneezah]

Creepy Deepy

Do you every have a day where you do absolutely nothing, but a serious of strange and unusual events happen?  Today is one such day.  I'm the the last stretch of vacation. School starts up again the week after next. I decide I should be relatively productive and take my dog for a hike first thing in the morning.  Since the weather is scotching hot beyond belief, I decided to for go the morning shower and shower after the hike. I also decide to forgo my usual make-up routine.  I'm guess I'm pretty shallow / vain / insecure (take your pick) to leave the house without make-up. Even if i just have to take the dog out or go to the local 7-11 I will put on make-up.  This morning I decided against it. I was hiking pretty early in the morning, plus I was sure I would sweat anything I up on off, so I decided to be brave and face the world with a naked face. 

We go for a short hike, only about an hour or so.  I don't know the trails around my newish apartment well.  I actually only discovered they existed a couple of days ago. I drop of my dog and decided to grab a soy banana smoothie at Starbucks.  I know this goes against my super special all natural kneezah diet, but I figure I will need it since I'm going to take a high intensity boxing class.  I had been taking classes before I went to Canada and felt it was time to start back up again.  So I enter the air conditioned heaven that is Starbucks and decided to stay there and drink my smoothie for a bit.  I'm still pretty sweaty from the hike and thought it would be nice to air out there for a bit.  As I sipped my smoothie, I used my cell to tumbl about my weight (see previous entry). After typing for a bit I lean back my my chair which causes the man seated diagonally behind me to get my attention.  

Creepy Deepy: Excuse me... (at this point he's just a regular guy and not so creepy)

Me: (Wide-eyed, make-upless and a little smelly) Yes?

CD: Do you have a boyfriend?

Me: Yes. (Taking a good look at him I was glad I honestly had a boyfriend. He was very average looking, but had pock marked skin which wasn't particularly attractive.  He was Korean about 28-32 range with pretty good English)  

I turn back around and continue to work on my tumblr entry. Turns back and stares at this receipt he has....

CD: Well, you looked nice and I thought we could get know each other more...  I wanted to treat you to a coffee.  But since you have a boyfriend...  (Stares back to receipt) It's ok, here have this (passes over receipt).  It's for a free coffee.

Me: No. No. That's ok.

CD: No, please have it. I don't need it. Even if we don't meet again it's fine. It doesn't matter to me.

Me: No, really.

CD: Continues to persuade me to take it....

Me: Ok. Thank you.  That's very nice of you (places receipt and continues to tumbl).

CD: You have to introduce me.  (He says this with a sly smile.  Actually I'm not entirely sure what he means by this.  Possibly he wants be to introduce him to  my single friends)

Me: Ok.

CD: Haha~ Ok! You said ok!  (Acting like he's gotten away with something.  I'm not entirely sure, but I get the feeling he's trying to trick me into something <insert creepy vibe>)

Me: Yes. I said ok, what should I have said?

CD: How we get in touch?  We we meet here again?

Me: Umm... I don't know. I didn't really think about it.

CD: You have to give me your phone number.... (Pulling out phone)

Me: Oh, I don't think my boyfriend would like that (Thanks, boyfriend! I owe you one).

CD: 010 (He punches the first few digits of a Korean cell phone number into his contacts. At this point he's speaking a forcefully).

Me: Sorry, I can't. How about Kakao talk? (Kakao talk is a great app, you don't need someone's number, just their ID and you can chat with them.  It's also equally easy to ignore or block their text messages)

CD: I don't have kakao talk.

Me: Every Korean person has kakao talk.  How can you not have it (and this is seriously true.  Just about everyone with a smartphone has it).

CD: (pulls up his apps and scrolls through them to prove he doesn't have it. At this point I'm pretty floored.  It's actually pretty weird that he doesn't have it. I don't know anyone that doesn't.) It makes me nervous.

Me: Ok. I will give you my e-mail address. (I don't really know why I offered this.  Actually I don't owe this guy anything).

CD: (Acts as he's about to take down my address, then suddenly changes his mind). I'll give you mind.

Me: (Perfect! I don't actually have to give this guy any contact information.  He gives me his addy which is a bit weird then tell me his name is Jack.  Sexy Jack.  He's not very sexy today...  But when he meets my friend he will fix himself up and be VERY sexy.)  

I weakly smile as he tell me this and wonder when this exchange is going to be over. Other highlights from the conversation include him explained that the friend I set him up with should be just like me... What does that me?  I'm not sure...  He also asked me where I lived and when I gave he a vague answer got annoyed and asked for the building name.  Now that I think about it, I probably should have asked him why he wanted my building name...  But I wasn't quite so clever.  Instead I said I didn't know.  As a foreigner in Korea this is somewhat plausible.  He didn't know that I could read/speak Korean.  Then he got irritated with me and scoffed and asked if I even knew my boyfriend's name.  

After a bit more of small talk he finally left. I actually wanted to leave too to change and head to the class... I was mildly worried he was still lurking about and would follow me back to my building so I continued with my tumblr entry longer that I should have and missed the class.

When I got back home I did some work related things, hopefully that will prove purposeful. As I worked I snacked on broccoli (with a little dijon mustard. Not totally accepted in the kneezah diet, but a better alternative to dip.  Apparently mustard aids in digestion, which is a good thing.^^)  I ended up eating the ENTIRE HEAD OF BROCCOLI, which is another strange thing that happened.  I'm not even fan of broccoli.  It just tasted sooo gosh darn good with the mustard.  

And the highlight of the unproductive day?  After 3 days of weighing 65.1 kilos, I finally came in under 65 kilos! Assah!!!

[lovekneezah]

Weighty Decisions

Before coming to Korea I’d never worried about my weight. I worked out regularly ate pretty much whatever I’ve wanted and maintained a relatively heathy body image. However, the longer I stay here the worst I feel about my body… And given the fact that I put on about 4-5 kilos when I started a new (more stressful) job last year, I’m really at an all time low. I also saw photos of myself back in Canada during my vacation where I was close to having a six pack. Oh how I miss that time. The photos were taken 2 years prior a visit to Canada when I was determined to have a rock solid body before reuniting with family and friends. I had 2 different gym memberships (one for a circuit class and one for a gym where I weight training and cardio.) I worked out about 5 days a week for about 2 hours each night. I think the only downside was that sometimes I felt extremely tired in the morning… I think that may have been because of lack of protein…

Anyway… I digress. I’m currently 10 pounds over weight. Not only by Korean standards but by western standards as well. I was informed by my doctor, as a very general rule… You should weigh about 100 pounds at 5 feet and and add 5 pounds for every inch above 5 feet. So standing at 5’7" I should be about 135, but in my case I’m 145. I know this isn’t an exact science, but a general rule and I do feel it has some truth to it. When I’m about 130 pounds I feel comfortable in my skin.

I know I’ll always be “fat" in Korea. The ideal here is about 5’7" and 97 pounds. I think I would have to cut of a leg to be that thin. And to be honest, I don’t think being that thin is healthy or particularly attractive. I also have somewhat broad shoulders or very broad shoulders if being compared to an average Korean woman. That coupled with muscular legs and curvy hips most definitely = fat here. Even when I was close to having a 6-pack one of my co-workers said I had a lot of “flesh" on my stomach. I’m not sure exactly what she was trying to say, but I didn’t take it kindly. Another time I mentioned I was hungry and was told not to eat because I was fat. Did I mention I had abs of steel at this point in time? So yes, Korea has given me a distorted body image… But I seem to be packing on the pounds as I stay here which is also not a good thing.

I got back from Canada just over a week ago, and I’m determined to get back into tip top shape. I want to have a super tight body that I feel proud to walk around in short shorts in. Superficial? Yes. But I’ll also feel better about myself. Since I’ve been back I’ve put myself on a special "kneezah diet," which means only eating foods from nature. So I’m eating tons of fruits, berries and veggies. I’m also eating oatmeal and kashi. I know I’m missing protein and probably a bunch of other important vitamins and nutrients… I’m trying to do a sort of detox. Hopefully it’ll cut down the pounds. I’m tempted to take one of those before shots to inspire me but an slight mortified at the thought. I’ve never worn a bikini, so the thought posting a photo of my self freaks me out….

[lovekneezah]

I couldn't decide which color I wanted... So I chose all of them. The lovely technician gave me the dots service because I was having a bad day. 아싸^^

[lovekneezah]

I bought 2 wardrobes about a year or so back... With my ever expanding wardrobe and my move to a bigger apartment, I realized I could use another. Instead of hauling myself into a furniture store, I perused gmarket to find a new one. My to my disappointment, I could not find another one with the fancy flowers that the other two had, so opted for a plain white one.  When it arrived it looked very different from the other two I had and not just because the lovely flowers were missing... The other two are lightly off white with a glossy coat of something on it.  The one I had just purchased was a brilliant white with no gloss.  In order to remedy the situation, I decided to cover it with washi tape. TAH DAH! <Insert sarcasm> And now the match perfectly! <End sarcasm>

[lovekneezah]

Return of the EX

I woke up to having the most intense dream.  You know the kind where you think it's really real... Even when you wake up, you're still thinking (or wishing) it still happened.  Well, I had one of those last night, or should I say this morning since I woke up to it. I was back in Canada and came across some things that belonged to my ex in my storage locker (this part actually happened, I think this is what inspired the dream). I emailed him but ever got a response (which has got him at the back of my mind. When someone ignores you, doesn't that makes them more even more appealing?) I have e-mailed him in the past and he always responded... I perhaps this time was because I sent it to his old e-mail accounts. Seriously, who uses hotmail anymore (except maybe for me). So I guess this is the set up for the dream...

Now it's actually time for the dream to start. I e-mailed him in my dream, or contacted him in some way... That part is kind of fuzzy.  We both end up in Canada, I guess I must have asked him to send some pictures of us when we were still dating and he came to Canada to deliver them (he's living in Taiwan now, by the way). I guess that should have tipped me off that I was dreaming, but it didn't, so let's move on. We meet, go to some sort of Buddhist meditation classes together, (again, this probably should have tipped me off that it's a dream, but it didn't). Then we get ready to leave, this is where is gets interesting. My mom is waiting for us to get into the car since she came to pick us up (this also would never really happened in real life. As I'm writing this I'm starting to wonder why this felt soooo real). I notice he's not getting into the car.  I go over to ask if he's planning on joining us, when he tearfully says he's going back to Taiwan. He tells me that he loves me and wants to be with me. This is when the water works REALLY start to flow. I think I said something along the same thing. We're both balling and hugging. THIS SEEMED SOOOO REAL. Suddenly his nose starts to run and I mention this to him. He notes that mine is too and I suddenly wake up.

WTF! What does this mean??? I did some secret undercover facebook stalking to discover that he got married last year. So I know he's not secretly pining for me. He married a Taiwanese girl. She's kind of cute (except for the bad teeth. Yes, I'm being mean). I haven't thought that much about him since the storage locker.  I mean we broke up at least five years ago. Not so sure about the date. Is my subconscious ego bruised because he didn't e-mail me back. I'm not tempted to add his as a friend on facebook. Damn social networking. What to do?  What to do?

[lovekneezah]

hello!