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if i look back, i am lost
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@lovelislying-blog
I can’t believe I’m falling in love. I can’t believe this is a chance I’m getting, with such an amazing guy.
God. I don’t deserve him. I don’t deserve this, but I’m so happy.
So happy, I think I’m actually in control for once... no LO, no LR
My heart is so full.
A few nights ago Derek told me he was falling in love with me and honestly, that’s all I can be bothered to care about these days.
Him. Us.
I love us.
Some of us can really relate to having both a light and a dark side...
It's been a week...
His girlfriend. My boyfriend.
This is what I woke up to this morning, and I couldn't help but grin like an idiot... I'm trying so hard not to get my hopes up about this one, but he just seems so genuine. No one else has ever made this much effort, no one else makes me feel so much like myself, no one has been so... him. I care about Derek. I'm just afraid that somehow, it's all going to go wrong. I don't want this to go wrong.
Things are so good. Things are so, so good. I’m so happy. Today is all I could have asked for. I’m so happy to just be alive. I’m so happy to just have friends. I’m so happy to have just had today, with him.
Somewhere in the world there’s a very, average looking girl who has a date with an extremely, sweet and handsome boy tonight; And is scared out of her mind.
Hint: The girl is me.
He asked me out on a date. A really real date. Tomorrow. To an amusement park, which is just one of my favorite things.
Last night Derek came over and stayed with me until I fell asleep. I haven't slept that soundly in awhile.
.oo6
Last night I told Casey that I was postponing our little get away, and I just hope he isn’t disappointed. I hate disappointing him. It’s just, once I got home and SaraBella jumped into my lap, and the apartment was quiet, and I was alone... I didn’t want to leave again, just to be cramped up in the front seat of one of our cars. I can’t help that there’s a part of me that is truly a homebody. I will make it up to him though. I just don’t know when.
In other news, Derek and I realized we both live in LA; Which I guess isn’t too shocking. Almost everyone lives in LA.
Still, he works not too far from where I live, and I’m going to go bother him during his shift tonight. Apparently, he’d like if I did. So yeah, my Friday night will be a little less uneventful I guess. It’s a good thing.
I still haven’t seen my sister since getting back home, but we’ve text, and she seems in good spirits, which is good. Great. I’m excited for her. She deserves happiness.
Right now the girls are quiet.. I hope they’ll stay that way.
You are so sweet to keep me company when I can’t sleep. A truly nice guy, a prince really. I hope we get to talk more often, I really do enjoy your outlook on life.
Chrissy doesn’t talk to me. Ashton can’t talk to me. Josh is starting to not talk to me...
Am I that forgettable?
Given, all the situations are different, but still.
