mary oliver was so right, mostly i want to be kind!!!
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Kiana Khansmith

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@loversrkive
mary oliver was so right, mostly i want to be kind!!!
“Wild Geese”, by Mary Oliver
how many times have you heard i want to kiss girls but it's scary. you have said those words, even. you flinch but you still do feel it - kissing men is easier, dating men is easier. there is already a social contract about it. a republican's wet dream; you had been socially conditioned to "know" what to do, even if it has never explicitly been described to you. the man and the woman get together, end of story.
you want women, of course. you want them, badly. and sometimes you wonder about that. is it because a man isn't real to you? this thing you have with men - is it only easier because you wouldn't have to change anything? your parents can pretend you're "straight", no matter how many times you exit the closet or say i'm at least half gay.
are you just... afraid?
because what if it's not true. what if kissing girls is just as easy - better, even - than kissing boys. what if dating girls means there's no weird subtle power imbalance; means that your life is full of laughter and love.
or maybe it's because if men don't find you attractive - well, okay, whatever. they can choke. you don't exist to make men happy, certainly. you can shave your head and let your leg hair grow out and dye your eyebrows because fuck what men think.
but what do women want? what if you try as hard as you can and you are not what women want? or worse - what if they do want you, but you have no idea how to treat them? certainly dating a woman is not dating a man; and you only have the manual (ha!) for one kind of relationship. everyone at this queer bar probably has kissed and hooked up and knows interesting positions to fold other women into. they've probably had sex in the bathroom and know where to slide their fingers into.
logically you know every body is different. there is no singularly correct way to have sex or kiss or love anyone of any gender. you know some people need to suck toes or do gymnastics or picture wife-roaches. so how hard could it be, really.
but you tell yourself - well, the dating pool is smaller. you have heard so many wlw horror stories from your friends - like their exes randomly appearing at a party, or the time three of your friends all accidentally dated the same person at once. and your lesbian friend warns you - wlw breakups hit harder.
and it's not like you're unhappy. you are happy, certainly. the man you're with now might genuinely be the love of your life. he paints his nails and likes bugs and treats you like a princess.
but still. in the late night, you feel your heart stutter. because what if it isn't really that difficult. what if you're just creating false assumptions in your head in order to fit a fear-based narrative. what if this is your internalized homophobia; what if it's heteronormativity; what if you're the only thing stopping you. what if those rules don't exist, and you're imagining scenarios so that you never take a risk.
what if.
happy pride!!!!
I have noticed in recent years that men say “no homo” way less often than they used to when I was in high school at least. Like I’ve witnessed in media and online and in person adult men just willing to say “I love you” or “you look great” to their guy friends without tacking a no homo onto the end of it.
And if you think that’s not progress you weren’t there in the trenches.
I’ve seen middle aged comedians on national tv sincerely say “I love you” to their friends with no jokes attached. Nature is so slow to heal but it is possible, I tell you. We have planted trees and seen them survive.
my that one friend that's too woke opinion is that in a similar vein to how you almost never see fat people or women without makeup on tv you never really see anyone experiencing incontinence issues unless it's a humiliating comedic moment at their expense and that's kind of scary
like sorry to be the bearer of bad news but people piss themselves. when they're afraid. when they've experienced mental and/or physical trauma and their body needs a way to express that stress. when they've been sexually assaulted. when they get older and their muscles start to wear out from a lifetime of service. a not insignificant majority of people Will experience incontinence in their lifetimes and while there are steps you can take to manage it for your own comfort and others', there's simply no moral dimension to it whatsoever. & like i'm not saying every show and movie needs checkhov's bed wetting scene but we have seriously got to get more okay with acknowledging that somehow.
You know what I fucking eat up every time? The thing where one character is an optimist and the other is a pessimist, and something happens that just, snuffs the hope right out of the optimist, and the pessimist has to desperately try to do what the other has always done for them, cheer them up. I live for that shit omg.
having unwashed hair will have you believing shit like i can’t be saved
There is no amount of money, oil, or gold that is worth more than having bees, trees, and clean water.
I love with my teeth
Be yourself so ppl looking for u can find u
this is so cool!!
"Ok, ma'am that'll be $226.03."
I take my wallet out of my pocket and unfold it. It is empty other than a single moth that lazily flies out. The moth lands on the tap point of the card reader. There's a beat, and my payment is processed. The moth flies back into my wallet and I put it back in my pocket.
every time someone realizes they dont have to pick between being a boy or a girl an angel gets its wings btw. and also extremely loud cheering can be heard in the distance from me specifically
btw if you've ever wondered why i make posts like this and get really obnoxious about nonbinary positivity. this is why
and for all of yall that are still figuring it out or aren't getting the support you deserve:
official gender post
there are a lot of really good ancient roman laws but i think my favorite is that, if you got struck by lightening and died, you couldnt have a proper burial because it meant that the gods hated you
“Jupiter cancelled him and we’re not going to question that”
genuinely asking: how would these laws apply to that guy who got struck by lightning on seven separate occasions but survived every time?
I think I would have assumed Zeus was trying to fuck him.
worst possible response thanks so much
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